Just a little vent (husband is sick)

[MaidenMinx]

I am so tired, so utterly exhausted I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll start with my husband being sick... since I put that in the title.

In the 8 years I have been with my husband he has been prone to bouts of vomitting that can last 3 or 4 days and take him weeks to recover from. When we first got together he told me that it had been happening for a year or 2 and the doctors keep telling him nothing is wrong. Frustrated I took him to a naturopath who told us it was his liver. He gave my husband a heap of tablets, charged him a small fortune and sent him on his way. Since then we have been running off that assumption. Being in hospitality his hours have been shocking and I have been working on him slowly over time to increase his healthy food intake (researching liver friendly foods) and getting him to slowly cut down his alcohol consumption (he's down from a 6 pack a day to maybe 2 6 packs a week). I haven't gotten anywhere on trying to get him to quit smoking, but well I'm not a miracle worker. But no matter what I do he keeps getting sick. This is his second bad bout this year, though he has come home from work sick (just for the day) 6 times in the last 3 months. I don't have the money right now to take him to the doctor and he refuses to go to the hospital. He's lost 4 kilos (nearly 9 lbs) in just over 3 days. When ever i have taken him to the hospital in the past for this they try to treat the vomitting but have no interest in trying to get to the bottom of it. We have been to 4 different GPs trying to get someone to sit up and take notice that this isn't right. It seems like no one cares. I spend days while my husband is at work and my son is at school wondering if he's going to leave me a young widow (yes I married him knowing that this is a possibility. I am hoping for us to grow old and crippled together. As long as we can still hear music, we'll be happy. )

It's also school holidays here and having my son home from school and my husband home from work while I am out of anti depressants (my son destroyed my script and I already mentioned the lack of money for doctors). It's been a week now. I am not in a good mind set, but I keep reminding myself why (extra stress, no meds and no space to crank the stereo...) I am mostly ok. I may end up killing my cat though if he doesn't shut the f**k up!!! Unfortunately he's an anxious little thing too and doesn't like it when I'm unsettled. Also unfortunate is the fact that he copes with this by being very very very vocal and between his capacity for whinging and my sons ability to ask the same question 3 times a minute for half an hour at a time, I don't have much space for sanity left.

Well that feels a bit better. I might go curl up with a book (and maybe even find some head phones) for half an hour.

[IndiReloaded]

That sounds tough, Minx. Sorry. Mbe Vash or Risa can give some suggestions...

I have a relative who was ill-feeling for years (medicos no help) until realized it was this:
[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheat_allergy]Wheat allergy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url]

[MaidenMinx]

That sounds tough, Minx. Sorry. Mbe Vash or Risa can give some suggestions...

I have a relative who was ill-feeling for years (medicos no help) until realized it was this:
[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wheat_allergy]Wheat allergy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url]

Thanks Indi. It can be tough seeing him like this. It leaves us both feeling useless. *sigh*

I've actually just decided that it is most likely dietary. He's had ultrasounds on his liver and pancreas this year as well as a breath test for bacteria. He is on the waiting list for another gastroscopy (he had one not long before we got together) but we are not expecting anything to come from that. I have been meaning for a while to start a food and behaviour diary for my son and myself as I have wondered if some of the problems the boy and I have could be dietary. When hubby can eat again I am going to keep a record of what he eats and how he's feeling. We have already discussed it and I will do most of the filling in on what he eats (since I prepare 95% of what he eats) and he can fill in each day whether or not he experienced any nausea or lethargy.

Any other advice is much appreciated. I would love to have him healthy.

[smackie9]

Have they looked into seeing if he has Helicobacter pylori? My neighbor had it for years before they finally was diagnosed.

[smackie9]

He could possibly have Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. More common in children, it can also affect person from all age groups. CVS is hard to diagnose because no tests—such as a blood test or x ray—can establish a diagnosis.

[MaidenMinx]

He's been tested for Heliobacter pylori and I hadn't heard of CVS before, but from what I am reading so far, he doesn't exactly fit the symptoms. Usually an episode that wipes him out for days (like he's experiencing at the moment) is preceded by warning days, and how he reacts to these warning days seems to have an impact on how quickly he'll hit this level and how bad this level will be. This time he was vomiting once every 3 weeks or so like he had food poisoning or a brief tummy bug, never knocking him out for more than 24 hours, and sometimes being fine straight away. That lasted a couple of months. The last episode was in February and was only preceded by a day or 2 of heavy vomiting, a week of being fine, and then he was down for about 6 days.

I'm starting to worry about the overall stress on his system. He loses so much weight so quickly each time, he barely gets it back before he is sick again. They say yo-yo dieting can be a strain on the heart, would this at all be comparable to that? If it helps, when he is at his sickest and skinniest he only just slips below a healthy BMI so he apparently stays within a healthy weight range. (And I didn't use BMI to start a debate about BMI I just thought it might be more appropriate than giving everyone his height and weight.)

[Sonrisa]

has he had an upper GI or and endoscopy done? PM me if you need medication. for you or him.

[MaidenMinx]

Nope on the upper GI and he is going for another endoscopy (I just had to google the difference between endoscopy and gastroscopy to find out they are the same) in October (gotta love a hospital waiting list) and he had one the year before we got together when this had only been happening for a year or so. I will admit I am not especially hopeful of getting a result.

Oh one thing I forgot to mention in my opening post was that we had a new GP (who ordered the latest round of tests) who has said in no uncertain terms it is not his liver and that the naturopath had been wrong. I actually became less strict on his diet (let him have eggs and white bread again) and he hasn't been as bad this time as say the last 3 times before that. It is definitely doing my head in, but atleast this time I am not sitting around crying wondering what the hell is going on.

[smackie9]

I've watched tv shows about people in your situation where just one doctor finds a rare and almost unheard of disease, so you need to keep up your search. Knowledge is power, search the internet for a specialist and contact them. Has he been to an allergist?

[MaidenMinx]

No he hasn't been to an allergist as yet.

One of the major hiccups at the moment is that after the last bout my plan was to take him back to the last GP when the next bout hit. We didn't have the money this time and he is very much recovering at the moment (he's had a bowel movement and he has his sense of humour back, the 2 big signs he's recovering). I was hoping by taking him to the same Dr twice within a year we might get somewhere. (In the past we have usually alternated GPs and hospital)

Oh I also did more reading on CVS and well unless we get another diagnosis well it kinda has to be it. I love the fact that basically the only way to diagnose CVS is to get a negative diagnosis on EVERY other possibility first. I must admit I am hoping for something fixable even though the only scary thing about CVS is the dehaydration. (I'd love to know if they have looked at the heart and other organs that are stressed by yo yo dieting)

So my plan at the moment (and I am welcoming other suggestions) is this week when we have the money is to take hubby to the Dr and tell the GP he had had another episode, enquire about allergy testing and tell him that we want hubby to be tested for EVERY possibility. As I said he has had blood tests, breath tests, ultrasounds on his pancreas, gallbladder and liver. He is booked in for a gastroscopy for 4 days before his birthday (poor bugger). For anyone in the know, what other test should I be pushing for? We have a tax time lump sum due in the next couple of months so to a certain extent the financial side isn't a major issue (even though I wanted to save every cent from tax time this year to go towards getting me a new kitchen *sigh*). Though I guess my biggest question is can the majority of tests be run when there are no symptoms? If he is has some sort of condition other than CVS will it show up through testing when he asymptomatic?

And thanks to everyone that has responded so far. When he gets sick like this by day 3 I am usually on the edge of constantly crying because I feel like I am losing my man. Now I no that no matter what there is an answer, even if it seems to be a "we don't know what's going on with these people so we'll stick them together over here under this name". :p

[Sonrisa]

i am guessing you don't have health insurance. what happens is he needs to go to the hospital though?

[smackie9]

The internet is your greatest tool. Just keep on your search and make lot of notes. Arm yourself with a load of questions before you see the doctor. Make sure you have everything written down, and take notes when talking to the doctor so you don't miss a thing.

[MaidenMinx]

Nope no health insurance, but living in Australia, ER visits are covered by medicare (government funded health cover I guess you could call it). Going through a public system means most of the tests are free or rebated. Doctors visits are also rebated but we end up about $30 out of pocket. Not much I know but the original appointment is $70 and well, we just don't have that right now... We will in a couple of days. *sigh* Also doesn't help that it's now Sunday.

The reason I mentioned the money side of things for tests is if I'm going to get pushy about it, it will cost us. That seems to be a GPs way to deter people from going for tests they deem unnecessary. I'm now at a point where I would send him for a full body scan if that would get us closer to a answer.

Smackie, I've actually found that the more informed I feel the more attitude I cop from doctors. I do not know how many times I have been told too much research into my health can cause me problems. I am constantly getting treated like a hypochondriac simply because I refuse to take myself to a GP before finding out if my symptoms are actually something to be worried about. *sigh*

[smackie9]

There's a great drug used in Canada called Gravol. It stops vomiting in it's tracks....also there's a sedative in it to help you sleep. You can order it on line without a prescription. It's non addictive. I use it as a sleep aid because sleep medications make me anxious. The stuff rawks!

[smackie9]

Nope no health insurance, but living in Australia, ER visits are covered by medicare (government funded health cover I guess you could call it). Going through a public system means most of the tests are free or rebated. Doctors visits are also rebated but we end up about $30 out of pocket. Not much I know but the original appointment is $70 and well, we just don't have that right now... We will in a couple of days. *sigh* Also doesn't help that it's now Sunday.

The reason I mentioned the money side of things for tests is if I'm going to get pushy about it, it will cost us. That seems to be a GPs way to deter people from going for tests they deem unnecessary. I'm now at a point where I would send him for a full body scan if that would get us closer to a answer.

Smackie, I've actually found that the more informed I feel the more attitude I cop from doctors. I do not know how many times I have been told too much research into my health can cause me problems. I am constantly getting treated like a hypochondriac simply because I refuse to take myself to a GP before finding out if my symptoms are actually something to be worried about. *sigh*

What kind of crap doctors do you have there? If you have a doctor that isn't open for discussion on your husband's condition then go seek out another. You might find help by visiting sites that discuss these issues...there might be doctors you can email that specialize in this type of problem. Maybe contacting a medical university to see if they can help getting a diagnosis. There is nothing wrong with asking for help.