Mixed signals from boss

[Jayne79]

I developed a crush on my boss last year. I'm not sure why. It came out of nowhere. I was married at the time (marriage has ended now for other reasons). I cannot get over this man. I get angry at myself for feeling this way when I don't want to feel like this anymore. For some reason I just can't forget him. We work very closely together so it makes it very hard.

I don't know how to read him. He confuses me. Last year he was very friendly with me and wanted to go for coffee and stuff and to socialise. I thought if anything we could just be friends as I was married at the time but going through some bad times. I found him easy to talk to and looked at him as a mentor almost.

One day he just stopped wanting to socialise. He was still polite to me at work but that was it. I have been extremely paranoid about what went wrong since. I keep blaming myself and that maybe I acted strangely or he thinks I'm weird I'm not sure. The truth was I just liked talking to him and enjoyed his company.

I don't understand why I feel like this. Even though I'm now single he still isn't interested in me. He is definately single as well as he told me he doesn't do relationships. We spend a lot of time together and quite often people think we are a couple or would make a good couple.

Help me get over this guy!

[vashti]

He probably started thinking about the risks involved with dating an employee. It is ALWAYS a bad idea for the boss to date from the work pool, and this is 1000x worse if he knows he isn't interested in a relationship, because when he is ready to move on, he would still have to deal with your emotional state.

If you can't get over it, maybe you should look for another job?

[sookie6]

Yes he has probably been weighing pros and cons and decided that he would rather keep you as an employee (especially since you work well together) than risking an affair that might turn awry...

When a relationship starts you never know where it's going even when the beginning is promising so...it's always best to keep work and private life separate...

It's a tough situation you' re in cos you can't never choose who we are attracted to...maybe you could start by analysing why HE is your love interest for now...it might just be because he is the only attractive available man in your surroundings at the mo.

So you might want to explore other venues and why not join dating websites, or take a membership in sport activities etc in order to meet someone else...

In my experience only a new crush can save you from falling to hard for someone...

[Jayne79]

Thank you for your replies. I know what I have to do. I meet loads of guys but all I think of is him. He's not even my usual type of guy that I go for and really can't understand these feelings.

I think you're right when you say about dating employees and perhaps he felt like he was getting too involved. Then again we can't help who we meet. I just feel like he has pushed me away. I would never, ever tell him how I feel as I am too scared of the consequences. I could look for another job but what would change?

There is a huge connection and I'm sure he feels it too but it's just not going to happen and I have accepted this. Quite sad really.