Am I reading too much into this?

[girlanachronism]

This is almost a "doomed from the beginning" post, but with a slightly odd twist...

R and I met 15 years ago. We had a mutual best friend and we worked together.I always thought he was very attractive and we flirted a lot. He made it very clear, that there was never going to be anything else between us, and I was okay with that. We weren't great friends, just flirty acquaintances.

I moved out of state, and he and I lost touch. Not really surprising.

About 3 years ago, he found me on Facebook. I was quite surprised, since he had to actually look for me as we had no mutual friends and we weren't that close back in the day. We still acted like distant friends and all was well in FB land.

Then about 6 months ago, it started to get flirty again. It was fun and goofy. We also started to seriously talk. He tells me that he was interested 15 years ago, but wasn't quite sure how to handle the situation. It doesn't make much difference except I also discover that he is very interesting and I enjoy talking to him about all kinds of stuff. He's still attractive and I start crushing a little. I told him, and we both decided it was a bad idea.

A bit of background on where we both are in our lives:

I wasn't able to go to college until now. I'm starting during spring term and this is a major step for me. I also have a 3 year old, and an ex that I am still very close to. We are very good friends but he is a little stalkerish. He is hoping that we will be able to reconcile, which we won't, but he is going about it in all the wrong ways. Otherwise, he is a really nice guy and a big part of my life.

R just started applying for Grad school at some very high level institutions and has a bunch of other things going on.

I have to be absolutely certain about a person before I am going to start any kind of relationship. I have a lot of stuff going on, and I will not randomly insert people into my child's life unless I am sure they are sticking around for awhile. R said that he really needs to focus on his goals too, and is not looking for a relationship.

It sort of hurt my feelings because the way he said it, it was almost like he was saying he just wasn't interested in one with *me*, but I got where he was coming from. Even if he was interested in me currently, a lot of things can change in a few years, which would be how long we would have to wait before pursuing it. Or so I was led to believe...

Lately we have been talking about school a lot. His Grad school choices and my thoughts on what I am going to be when I grow up- haha, because I'm still not grown up while in my 30s! We talk about my kid, and both our lives. It's been nice and very laid back and low key.

Then yesterday, he calls me. Not surprising, but what we end up talking about is. He says that he has applied for Grad school at the University in my town and that he feels like he has a very good shot at getting in. He says he did it a while ago, but we had talked about all of the schools he was applying to and that one was not ever mentioned, not even in passing. The Uni here is not a high rated Uni, and every one of the others where he applied are right below Ivy League. It came as a bit of a shock to me, to say the least.

I think, he was hoping I would be more excited, but I am not going to get excited about something might or might not happen. Plus, I am not sure what it even means. He seemed to make sure I understood before that he wasn't interested. This is where you guys come in...

So, what do you think it means? Do you think he only applied to the Uni here because it's where I am? Why apply to a bunch of really high level Grad programs and one mediocre one? Am I reading too much into this?

I'm just a little confused.

[IncognitoSir]

Ehh, both of you are off to a horrible reconciliation. Saying things you don't mean, holding back your feelings and what not. What difference does it make if you're not getting excited about it. But yeah, you're reading to much into it. If he gets accepted then what? You get to worry if he actually chooses to attend there right? Maybe a better school will accept him, then what. At 30 years old, I'd hope you guys can just be up front and honest with each other. If the little games you played with each other didnt work 15 years ago, why would it work this time around?

[xxazurexx]

I think you are reading too much into things.

If he's interested, why not just say he's interested, rather than have you second guessing at what he's thinking/what could be going on.

I'm wondering though, why in the past did he say that there was no chance that you would be together. What was stopping him? Or perhaps he was just not attracted to you in that way.

I personally wouldn't lose sleep pver it and just go with the flow. He'd be the one doing all the work and if he was 'that' interested IMO.

[girlanachronism]

You do have a point, though I haven't said anything I didn't mean or held back anything I was feeling. He knows exactly what I feel towards him. He does run hot and cold, which is irksome.

When we knew each other before, there were other things at play. I was 16 and he was 19. It could have gotten messy if he had actually made a move, so I don't blame him in the least.

I hope he does get accepted into a better school. It would be better for him. I just don't get why he applied to this school. It doesn't even offer the Grad program he really wants. Thank you for your input.

[Agape]

meh . . . it's his life, you can read into it for as long as you want - doesn't help

unless he does this specifically affecting you then it might actually be about you.