A tricky one

[Littlelion]

Hi, first post, was hoping to get some sage advice.

Basically I've had strong feelings for my house-mate for some time now. but circumstances have never exactly been in my favour. first she was living in the room with her boyfriend. Despite my feelings I decided that rocking the boat was really not worth it so I did my best to forget about them. However she moved away for a little while to attend a university placement, and during that time boyfriend cheated on her repeatedly and then broke up with her when she came to visit him.

When she moved back into the house I decided to be the best friend I could, she is after one of my best friends and It hurt me to see her hurt. We got really close really fast but obviously christmas put everything on stand-by.

I kept in contact over the holidays and we messaged each other every day, talking for ages about lots of things. I was getting a pretty positive impression from everything and decided that the time was coming to tell her how I feel.

So I come back on the 30th of december and see her again at the house, we were both really pleased to see each other and talked for at least 3 hours. That night we watched a film and got very wasted and I suddenly blurted out how I felt.
It turns out I has misinterpreted the signals, it was far too soon in her recovery from her last relationship and a stupid thing to do, but she was very kind and considerate and we discussed the situation pretty thoroughly before calling it a night.

The next day after talking about it some more we pretty much carried on as normal, we had a new years party to organize and had to get on it.

At the Party I decided to give her some space, the last thing she wants is me crowding in when she's trying to relax right?
So it comes to new years and after the countdown we start to disperse when we notice two of us are missing.
We all turn around and see Her locked in a passionate embrace with a close friend of mine (who had been giving me advice and confiding with me on the situation)that I had introduced to her that night.

Although I was obviously upset I decided to be the bigger man and brush it off, whatever makes her happy.
But then I get a few more drinks down me, bad idea.
I see my friend in our houses hallway and after some small talk I decide to lay down the law, ""you hurt her and I'll kill you" all the macho crap that too much alcohol will make you say.

Anyways the next day I decide to head out for the afternoon and give them some space, and when I come back She's waiting for me.

We have a good long talk about our feelings and she pretty much tells me I'm like a brother and one of her best friends and that in many ways thats more valuable than a relationship.

All it does is convince me more that I'm falling in love with her.

Wow, this is an essay, wasn't expecting that!

So, to cut the rest short. Its sunday and we've spent all day cleaning the house, we go our seperate ways in the evening and get back home by night, I decide to tell her I'd resolved my issues with the other guy to make her feel better so that she doesn't go away again feeling awful

So she calls him up
They are having sex downstairs right now.
And tomorrow she's going to leatherhead for six weeks
and I probably won't get to say goodbye to her.

Any advice?

[MerryH]

Sorry, but advice on what? There's nothing you can do but move on. She doesn't like you in that way. End of story.