Originally Posted by
HeartIsAching
Something's not adding up here. You walked away during a TINY dispute?
Yeah, if it was a truly tiny dispute, I'd be PO'ed if you walked away. If it was something more major, you need to say so.
It is DEFINITELY ok to walk away if you feel yourself going from "Discussion" to "Fighting". If your voice starts to raise, that's a sign. Take a "Time Out" but what exactly a time out is should be established when you're NOT fighting. It should be of a set length of time, and they have rules. You can do physical, non-violent activity (walking, running, bike riding, etc.), listen to music, do [URL="http://www.drjerm.com/Positive-Self-Talk/Positive-Self-Talk.php"]Positive Self Talk[/URL], do NOT call your friends and bitch about what your partner has done to piss you off, do NOT go to a bar and drink. Come back after the established cooling off period EXACTLY on time, and IF your partner is willing to talk about it, then you do. If not, your partner can come and talk to you about it if/when he or she believes it's appropriate, don't push it.
This "Time Out" method engenders trust and respect - if you come back exactly when you say you will, it reinforces the idea that you mean what you say, and you say what you mean.
Great post. This is a nice summary of the proper way to call for a time out from a heated discussion. Just walking away, especially during a minor dispute, is disrespectful, and a relationship without mutual respect is a bad relationship.
Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.