If your son wasn't in the middle of this, I would say that you shouldn't bother, because you have done so many horrible things. But since your son is in this, it's worth the effort for you to try to stay in their lives, IF you are willing to do some serious self-improvement.
You absolutely need to take an anger management class or meet with a therapist, so you can learn about your anger and how to handle it. Find out the roots of your anger and confront them, or at least learn the things that set you off and develop strategies to avoid and manage your anger. Get regular exercise, but try to focus on more aerobic exercise and less lifting. Stop thinking in terms of violence, like "fight for her" and try to frame issues in a more civilized paradigm, like "win back her trust."
And some of your past actions were so extreme and irrational, I'm wondering if you have a drinking problem, or some other form of substance abuse. If so, get treatment for that, too. And try to take care of all of these issues before spending much time around your loved ones.
You may feel like you've already learned your lesson, but I don't think that you've done enough yet. What are you going to do the next time that you get frustrated or even angry? What if it's a simple misunderstanding, but you overreact and do something that can never be undone? Get some help now, before it's too late.
Sorry if this all sounds judgmental, but I once faced a choice between love and anger. My girlfriend told me that I needed to take an anger management class or she would break up with me. I didn't hit her, but I lost my temper and verbally abused her on a couple of occasions, and also scared her. I was resentful about taking the anger management class, but it turned out to be a very positive experience that not only saved my relationship but also my career. That was in 2004, and we're still together. It did take her a couple of years to completely forgive me and trust me again, but since that point, things have been getting better and better.
Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.