the more you show them you love them the more you push them away , truth or myth?

[JasonVoorhees]

So basically, i wish to know from expirience of people, because i searched all over the net and seems like every website i read says.. that the more you talk to you're ex and tell them you love them and try to get them back by showing them you love them , it more pushes them away. but is this truth or myth ? from personall expirience, is it true that the only chance to get an ex back to you is to move away from them and move on without showing them any signs of love or that you want them back?

[Boisdevie]

They are your ex because there was something that didn't work in the relationship - from one side or both sides. And unless that can be fixed then the chances of a successful relationship are zero.

[Nineball]

i have also read the same. countless articles, books, and experts saying to maintain a no-contact policy if you want to win someone back. i understand the idea behind that, but i just have one problem. your ex might think you're not trying hard enough, which would then lead him/her to believe you aren't the one.

[Take2]

I think it is all BS. If a relationship ends, the chances of it successfully getting back on track are very low. Probably even more low if the person who was left chases the one who left, but miserably unlikely in any case. What's more, even if you win them back, it is likely to end again even worse in the near future. For THAT reason, it is best to leave an ex alone after a breakup, and then if they want to pursue you then you can consider it warily.

[mickle141]

I've read the same, leave it at least 30 days and all that.

I think in an ideal world you both need some space after a break-up. It's not set in stone, just whatever feels right. When me an my ex broke up I had all the stories she'd written (its her hobby) published in a book. If that's not romantic, I don't know what is. But all she wanted was some space and as it turns out, me too. So really, break up, space, talk. Don't just leave the ball completely in their court though. It's a bit of grey area really but giving someone space wont work against you. Just leave it a bit and let them know how you feel.

How can you miss someone if they won't go away?

[xxazurexx]

I think it''s a myth.

I don't think you can't push anyone away, who truly loves you and no matter how you behave. Maybe you will piss them off and if you are acting a bit psycho - they might distance for a bit.....but someone who truly loves you will always return and for as long as they love you.

This is why 'no contact' only works if they still love you.

[breakupguy]

It all depends on the situation. No two situations are exactly alike. The person could just need space and the more you keep annoying them, the more they begin to despise you, which certainly doesn't help the chances of you all getting back together.

Ultimately, if you've flat-out asked the person if they want to get back with you (which I hope you have at this point), and they told you "no," you are wasting your time and need to initialize NC (no contact) so that you can begin to heal. It takes two people that are willing to put the work in in order for a couple to get back together. It can't be just one of you that want it.

[sookie6]

I think more importantly you should avoid showing erratic behaviour...despair, loneliness and tears are not sexy...it reminds me of Prince William and Kate Middleton 's break up a couple years ago (I do apolgise if this example is a bit far fetched) but the press commented on how she went on with her life...going out, working, having fun and being always pretty and attractive.

[hope555]

I think, in my opinion, no contact just helps people realize how they really feel about each other outside of the "haze of love". In some cases, the other party may realize they actually had a good thing going and should work to get you back. In other cases, they realize how something like this will never work out. So it really depends on the people involved. Either way, it helps clear the head out and is actually a good option no matter what the situation.