Advice for a recent break up

[erols1090]

My girlfriend and I recently broke up because from what she said, things got boring and that we needed a "spark" in our relationship but it never happened. She was telling people we broke up when she told me we were on break, so I ended it. She says I'm too emotional and quiet and that I always want to talk about my feelings and emotions. I may be an emotional kind of guy, but at the same time I'm an outgoing and wild person that is down for anything. She's very spontaneous and likes to do whatever she wants. We do have a lot in common as well, and I felt like there was balance when it came to our personalities. I'm that kind of guy where it takes a lot to get my emotions and feelings out of me. Once you get to really know me, I open up more. I understand a girl doesnt like a guy always talking about his feelings and emotions. It's not that, it's that I care a lot for my ex girlfriend. The thing is though, she said she still wants to be friends and does not want to lose me because if we ever want anything, we're there for each other. And I have no idea what that means. There is more to the situation, but I prefer privately talking to someone about it. I come here because I want a non biased point of view, rather than asking my friends. Thank you.

[Gigabitch]

So she wants to have her cake and eat it too, right? I don't think so. She broke up with you and yet she wants you to hang around in case she needs something.

Tell her to take a hike and go find someone who appreciates you.

[erols1090]

Apparently she wants a guy that isn't sweetheart like. I mean I'm a douchebag naturally and I have that "i don't give a ****" kind of deal, but I can be a sweetheart and that's what I was doing to her, because from what she's been telling me guys treat her shitty. I feel as if I were too nice to her, but then again you can never be too nice. I wanted to show her how she should be really treated, and maybe I seemed emotional and kind of a push over, I was willing to protect her from anything. I let her do whatever she wanted with those few limitations. And whenever I'd confront her about things I would confront her in a manner where she wouldn't get insulted. She's only 17 and still a senior in highschool, so I figured it's that mentality that she still has.

[originalsince85]

Hmm, don't do the friend thing, you'll just be hanging around for nothing other than when she wants a shoulder to cry on or as a safety net. like gigabitch so fittingly said, she wants to have her cake and eat it too. It aint fair, and it aint happening.

You shouldn't need to change anything about you to be appreciated or liked or loved more in any kind of relationship. People can accept you for who you are and the way you are or they can go **** themselves.

[erols1090]

Should I confront her about the whole friends deal or just leave it until she decides to come back? I'm not expecting her to come back though, but it's one of those things where I don't know.

[originalsince85]

I would just leave it and move on! She'll get the picture.

Sounds like you deserve better mate.

[lovesprouts]

I agree with originalsince85. Leave it and move on. Her motive seems to be have you hanging around and she will try to find a relationship according to her guidelines..if she does then she would have no hesitation in dumping you and if she doesn't she always has the chance to get back to you.
Just me 2 cents :-)

[erols1090]

Thanks for the advice guys. It's hard to move on, but I guess I have no options.