Mention-itis

[Gigabitch]

I will start off by citing Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason as the source of the concept of mentionitis. It's what you call it when your SO drops someone into conversations where they don't need to be, making a girlfriend's hackles rise.

My boyfriend is lovely, but one of his major flaws is that he's a total attention whore. If someone starts paying attention to him, he finds it very difficult to pull away, moreso if it's a reasonably attractive woman.

Just to clarify, I don't think he's cheating on me.

Anyway, he's mentioned this girl who manages a tourist trap downtown a few times now, each time adding more details about her. Originally, I thought she made some kind of presentation to the sales department at his hotel about her schlocky store.

As the mentionitis gets more pronounced, though, it's becoming clear that they had a somewhat detailed conversation, the two of them, about living here, the fact that she came here to make a film six years ago, etc. WTF? Did they go to lunch or something? And why does he keep mentioning her? It's happened, like, three times, and every time there are more details about her.

This morning I asked him to clarify exactly who this girl is and how he knows her and told him I was getting a really weird feeling about the whole thing. Hopefully, that's the end of it and he'll stop bringing her up.

My question: Should I go downtown to the kitchy tourist trap and check her out, just to see if I have anything to worry about?

[Charlie Boy II]

?! no giga you shouldn't. What good would that do - apart from feeding your paranoia and making you look a bit weird?

The fact that you're even suggesting such a thing indicates you're letting some of your aforementioned insecurities drown out your normally impeccable judgement. This doesn't sound the least bit sinister to me.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, then will you go down there and check her out for me?

[Sofia]

I will start off by citing Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason as the source of the concept of mentionitis. It's what you call it when your SO drops someone into conversations where they don't need to be, making a girlfriend's hackles rise.

My boyfriend is lovely, but one of his major flaws is that he's a total attention whore. If someone starts paying attention to him, he finds it very difficult to pull away, moreso if it's a reasonably attractive woman.

Just to clarify, I don't think he's cheating on me.

Anyway, he's mentioned this girl who manages a tourist trap downtown a few times now, each time adding more details about her. Originally, I thought she made some kind of presentation to the sales department at his hotel about her schlocky store.

As the mentionitis gets more pronounced, though, it's becoming clear that they had a somewhat detailed conversation, the two of them, about living here, the fact that she came here to make a film six years ago, etc. WTF? Did they go to lunch or something? And why does he keep mentioning her? It's happened, like, three times, and every time there are more details about her.

This morning I asked him to clarify exactly who this girl is and how he knows her and told him I was getting a really weird feeling about the whole thing. Hopefully, that's the end of it and he'll stop bringing her up.

My question: Should I go downtown to the kitchy tourist trap and check her out, just to see if I have anything to worry about?

Attention whore? Sounds a bit like my BF!! Loves to charm women...that's another problem I have with him!

Anyway, how long have you been together? Is this out of the norm behaviour for him?

[Gigabitch]

I would say it's unusual for me to feel weird about it. He's a flirt, for sure, and generally I don't mind at all, but something about this is bothering me.

I trust my intuition, I just don't know exactly what it is that's off, here.

We've been together for over a year, he moved here to be with me, and we're quite serious and committed.

[Charlie Boy II]

Okay, then will you go down there and check her out for me?

How about I go in to her store lean over the counter and whisper in her ear "stay the f-ck away from caliboy, or else". Later, as she's locking up I'll slowly drive past and stare her down with narrowed gimlets, just to give her the creeps. I'll do it for $20 plus expenses.

[Gigabitch]

If it were just about intimidating her, I could do that myself.

I want you to haul your cute ass in there, tell her you're looking for a present for your girlfriend, and see if she hits on you anyway.

[Charlie Boy II]

She sounds like such an outrageous whore, she probably would.

[Gigabitch]

Unfortunately, it's HIM that's the whore.

[xmoongirlx]

OMG, something kinda like that happened to me LOL, but it shouldn't bother you. Men sometime like intimidating, better say making women jelaous, he's probably saying those things so he could get that unsure-curious reaction from you. In the other hand he may be clueless about this whole thing!

But it wouldn't hurt paying him a visit @ work sometime!and checking this girl out, I never got the chance to do it, but I'm not worried anymore! U shouldn't be either, it'll pass!

[Charlie Boy II]

But it wouldn't hurt paying him a visit @ work sometime!and checking this girl out

It would hurt to pay this girl a visit. Once you cross the line into creepy girlfriend country even for a brief visit, it'll make it easier to go back next time, and the time after that. Before you know it you'll be living there.

If your boyfriend finds out you've gone to scope out this chick on the basis of a couple of namedrops it'll freak him out. It'd start me wondering what else this girl of mine was capable of.

[squirrley]

Giga,

you know he likes the attention. I wouldnt worry too much about it sweetie! Maybe he's just testing you? You KNOW youre self worth and security, blow this one off! Unless he KEEPS up with it, then Id say something?

I wouldnt go to the store either honey!

[Gribble]

How about I go in to her store lean over the counter and whisper in her ear "stay the f-ck away from caliboy, or else". Later, as she's locking up I'll slowly drive past and stare her down with narrowed gimlets, just to give her the creeps. I'll do it for $20 plus expenses.

Charlie Boy, have you ever read anything by Robert Parker? That sounds exactly like something a character in one of his books would offer.

[miSSleepy]

Usually people who like attention will want others to know they're getting the attention. It may actually make him feel good about himself that he's socialising with this girl and you know about it ... like cats bringing their kill to the front door to show off.
Or he may actually get along well with this girl, but not necessarily have any romantic notions towards her. Even in this situation, he may want you to know about it.
And that's a good thing, I guess, that he's telling you. If there WAS something happening, I would think that he'd keep it to himself.
Ask him some non-threatening questions about her when he mentions her next and judge his reactions. Or just tell him exactly how you feel.

[Gigabitch]

Or just tell him exactly how you feel.

Ugh, I already did. This morning, after I asked him to explain who she was, I said, "Well, I guess as cheesy tourist traps go, you could do worse."

He answered, "I might go check it out."

and I replied, in the most sarcastibitch manner I could, "Oh, yes. You should definitely go and see her."

It was at this point that his "pissed-off girlfriend" alarm went off. He needs to get that thing checked. It doesn't work very well.