Sticky Situation

[lostandstuck]

I am so stuck. I am 22 and have been with my fiancée for 5 years. He used to be a real goal-getter, making good money and was always in a great mood. Now he has lost his job, racked up some DUI's and cannot find a real job. Him and I rent his parent's house with my brother and nephew and my fiancee currently watches my nephew every other week for $360 a month which can barely cover his own expenses... He is always in the worst mood and is constantly telling me what to do when I am just trying to work and finish up school. He thinks I am no fun because I am working really hard to get my future started. I think he is just being lazy and mean. I can't take it anymore, he is holding me back. He just wants to party and I just want to succeed. We love each other but this is ripping us apart and if I move out I am leaving my brother and nephew high and dry. What do I do?

[loveless_wonder]

Sometimes you can only do what is right for you. I think this is one of those times. I know you don't wanna walk out on your family but you've got to get out this relationship. You'll thank yourself later. Don't let this guy keep you down. This is your time to shine. You are the one doing all this work to make things better for the both of you and he doesnt see that. He's worthless to you at this point.

[damn2010]

You need to sit down and have a serious heart-to-heart talk with him. I'm an advocate of giving people a chance especially when they fall on hard times, but if the behavior persists, it might be time for you to step away.

You need to discuss the troubles he has now and make sure you give him your honest opinion. It's clear that the tough economic times have taken their toll on the man you fell in love with and TRUST me, it's difficult for him as it is for you. Regardless, treating you badly, the DUI's, and his constant partying are NOT going to build a future for him and you.

If you care for him, sit him down and make it clear this is a SERIOUS discussion (sometimes we men don't get it when you all "drop hints", so if you set it up like a meeting or something, then we know it's a big deal) and share your feelings on his situation and how it is affecting you and your relationship.

If he doesn't strive to change, then prepare to move on.

[Liam_680]

tell him how you feel about things. if he doesnt change up his acts, give each other the much needed space so he can realize what he is doing with his life and how he brings you down. this time will make him realize of his wrong doings and hopefully change for the better.