Really Blindsided

[MMLovestochat]

Many will probally find this hard to believe, I still have so many mixed emotions about this situation. My man of 16 years, which we lived together through good and bad, was diagnosed with lung cancer March 4th, we were devasted but we looked to the future, although the cancer had spread to all his organs, we still anticipated we would have 18 months. So after 7 weeks of radiation, 1 cycle of chemo, we were told he has 4-8 weeks left to live. Well when his daughter found out the final numbers, she returned from Texas, only to push me to the side, and he allowed it, he has completely shut me out, and treats me with no respect. This was very difficult for me and his family to understand as he has now shut them out also, but as the days have gone on, you do a lot of soul searching, and talking with god, and I am finally at peace, as I know I was here for him and took care of him, and feel content with moving on with my life. Is my heart still broken? yes, but I know time heals all wounds, and I do wish him well and may he have a painfree departure from this world, I am a true believer in that we all get judged when we move on, and the decisions he has made he will take with him. I always believed in my heart, even knowing he was married 3 different times, and even after I read all the divorce papers, that he truely loved me, and would never hurt me in such a manner, but I was wrong. But looking to my future, I will not allow my heart to control, this time around I will have my eyes open also, granted I'm 49 with two grown daughters from a previous marriage, but I feel I'm a very attractive woman yet with a lot of life and a lot of differnet intrests, and that maybe I wll find someone who wants to be a lover and friend forever.

[vashti]

People with terminal illnesses often behave in ways that seem illogical to the people that love them. If cancer spreads to the brain, it can cause a lot of personality changes which the victim cannot be held responsible for. I am sure he is very scared, and in a lot of pain. If I were you, I would continue to stand by his side. He doesn't have much time.

[sookie6]

I find it serioulsy wong that in times lik this you are thinking of yur own little self an your future love prospects...you should not even have the slightest inclination to think aboutsomeone else and how old you are and whether you will find someone later...

People like you call themselves believers...

[MMLovestochat]

no it has not spread to his brain or his bones, he is just the person that everyone tried to tell me years ago that he was, and I would not believe it, as I was only thinking with my heart.

[MMLovestochat]

no, I have to think of only myself as that is the way he has no made it, the love I have for him will never change, and when you have spent 16 years with a person who you thought you were going to grow old together, and they turn around and shit on you and treat you like trash, because his true colors surfaced, and he is the selfish, ignorant person his family told me he was years ago and to get out, but my heart would not believe or allow it, yes I do feel its time for me to look to my future I gave up a lot of years for this man, and now I have woke up, and do not feel guilty or have any regrets, I did my best, and I will sleep well at night, and when you have not had a physical relationship in years due to his high blood pressure pills and no other ID options helped and I still loved him, but there comes a time when you know you gave it your all, and that was not appreciated, and he will answer to the Lord very soon, such he will be judged by his actions.

[IndiReloaded]

So you are prepared to toss off 16 years together when your partner is close to death? You can't handle a bit of selfishness on his part, or his daughter's part during this difficult time?

Get over yourself. YOU will still have time after he's gone to salve your feelings. I'm sorry for your situation, truly, but you must suck it up for the sake of your partner. If you had misgivings about him years ago, THAT was the time to have dealt w/it. Not now.

BTW, if his cancer has spread to most of his organs, it is likely in his brain as well whether they can see it on a scan or not. Lung cancer is extremely aggressive and usually does spread to the brain.