How would you handle this situation?

[applecyder]

I went on a couple of dates with a girl I work with, and basically screwed it up. I got way in over my head and put too much pressure on us being a 'couple' and basically forced her to tell me she just wanted to be friends. Things were going so well until I started kinda forcing it. Pathetic, I know. I made it worse by kind of forcing us to talk about it alot (ugh) afterwards too, but she said that she felt that she was leaving the door open for us still.

Anyway, I feel completely and utterly stupid, and I realize how wrong I was in the way I acted. I was acted completely dumb in alot of ways, and it really sucks.

She still wants to talk to me, and I know we connect but I believe I screwed up our chances. We both agreed we want to still be friends.

My question is how should I act around her now? She's going to call tonight, and it seems hard for me to just act all happy like nothing is wrong.

I do miss how it was, but I way over-thought/over-analyzed things before... it seems like just forgetting the past and starting over as a good friend is best.

Maybe I should just accept that I ****ed this up and move on?

Any thoughts?

-applecyder

[abercromqt20]

well she said she is leaving the door open for u. i say with this phone call try not to over analyze things. just be yourself. you know that person she was starting to like in the first place. don't talk about you two as a couple unless brought up by her. from there if things continue to go well for a while you can then talk to her about giving it another go. but be careful u jump on that too soon u will still come off pushy.....

anyways, good luck with ur phone call or whatever. and let us know what happens. maybe we can give you more help from there.

[K3vMySt3r]

let it go with the flow man... if she thinks u screwed up and understands that by the way u act different since u're just friends with her... she might give u another chance.. u never know... but hey if it don't just appreciate it and just be friends but keep us updated thx

[cycletease]

You are still stressing about it too much. Don't make the same mistakes again and again. Just chill, stop stressing over it and see where it goes. At least the girl knows you are interested! You need to have some fun and stop being so serious with her. I recommend a light-hearted approach and no pressure.

[abercromqt20]

definitely. if she sees that you are still stressing over this, she is going to think the same things she did b4. just go in with no expectations and have some fun. whatever happens happens, ya know?!?

[applecyder]

Thanks for the reply guys. She actually didn't call last night, I just figured she would. She works til 11pm and I haven't had a chance to talk to her, but I will definately call her tomarrow.

The thing is I know she thinks I need time again or something, and she probably thinks the same thing I'm thinking- "why isn't he calling me?" when in reality I want to talk to her. But still, I really don't want to seem clingy anymore. I'll be cool next time I talk to her, try not to make the same mistakes twice.

Although I could visit her at work... but it seems better just to not jump into that kind of situation after things are like this at the moment. I wouldn't really know what to say. It's tough though because I used to visit her there all the time, she loved it. But now things are different, hopefully not in a bad way. (haha, thinking too much again?)

Anyway, I'll definately keep all you posted.

I've been trying not to think about it. It's working pretty well.



PS: We left on a good note last time I saw her, but I txt'd her twice and she didn't reply, so I decided just to leave her alone and see if she tries to contact me herself. It's hard to resist the urge to just txt her because I know she likes it, but I feel the need to show her I can live life without constantly thinking about her too.

PSS: When I do talk to her, I'm going to plainly say I understand we were both busy, and just act casual about everything.

[applecyder]

sorry to double post, don't know how strict this forum is about it...

Update: So she calls me from work tonight to ask if I can help cover someone elses shift! I know if I didn't she'd have to cover it herself (in addition to her normal duties), but I worked a ton today (8 hours) and I would have to stay until 11pm and get up at 6am if I did, so it would be pretty crappy if I did go.

I told her I couldn't and she said "I'll talk to you later" and didn't seem to be interested in saying anything else. *sigh* Well, she got back to me, but not exactly in the way I wanted. Just a small update.

It kinda drove me crazy that she didn't really have anything else to say to me, but she IS at work.

Also, I feel kinda bad that I didn't go in and help- I feel like I blew off a good opportunity to help her out... but still, that would mess me up completely for tomarrow.

Ugh.. I feel sick.

At least we talked again, I feel that the ball is in her court now to contact me anyway because of what she said.

Ah well... who knows.