what is going on?! no feelings with sex?

[BillyJean]

Hello! I don't understand what happened: I am going out with this guy, actually he was at my place for one week so we mostly stayed in - it started two months ago, for one week, then he left for work, then now another week, and he is coming back for good next month; actually we were sort of friends before for some months.
Anyway, he has a REALLY high sex drive, i mean, he is like a machine, and he is kind of sweet, although he is NOT speaking of love he said that i am very important for him, wants to spend time with me, calls every day (almost) when he is away,and he spent last week glued to me, dinners, parties, etc.
This is what happened: we had sex just before he was leaving, the situation was very very tender, not just sexy, and i dared to say something like "do you care about me a little bit?" -- he lost his boner immediately!! I mean, he is pretty invulnerable to most situations, but THIS makes him lose it? does he have some deep psychological problems with engagement?? what do i do?? He is a great shag, but i would like more.. thanks!

[Junket]

what do i do?? He is a great shag, but i would like more.. thanks!

That's what you did.

And he knows it, that's why he lost his boner.

[BillyJean]

wow, that s insightful...

1) he knew that before (that i want more)

2) what do i do now? i can't help the way i feel.. (wanting more..) do i leave him because of this?

[Gigabitch]

If you're overcommitted, stop having sex with him.

[BillyJean]

thanks, good advice, ouch, I was afraid it would come to that..
I was thinking about it, and then I thought that it sounded like blackmail, "if you don't talk about love, you won't get any of THAT" -- but what is a woman to do? ??

PS Heil Frasbee

[Junket]

do i leave him because of this?

Probably.

I doubt he's gonna change anytime soon, he's infatuated with you for the time being, and he's gettin' some ass. But he sounds like he's the type that wants to move freely and get ass elsewhere without feeling like he's breaking the trust of another person.

[BillyJean]

he does sound like that, in fact.. what can i say to dump him? I already tried to leave him saying that i needed more, and that s where he said i was very important to him - oh my god, this situation is really cliche!! how do i leave him without sounding like a needy bitch?! I think I have fallen in love.. :-( how do i leave him?

[BillyJean]

perhaps the last question if for another forum

[Junket]

You can make him leave you by demanding he marry you.

I'm half joking, half serious with that.

Thing is, even if he gave in to your demands to change, that wouldn't make him a happy person, and you'd always wonder if he was fantasizing about that other woman.

It's easier to leave someone when they hurt you first, but that's the pussy way to do it. You don't have to tell him anything, but if you feel compelled to, tell him he's not what you're looking for, and break it off.

And yeah, no more sex.

[BillyJean]

well, the situation is slightly complicated by the fact that we live in the same college, a small one, so we are going to meet almost everyday, have the same friends, etc so i guess i have to come up with a good excuse..

i also think it is not right to ask people to change, especially those who don't say "i love you"

[Junket]

One thing I'm doing now is drawing a line between the people I hang out with and the ones my girlfriend hangs out with.

Sharing a group of mutual friends is fine, but it complicates things if you ever break up.

[BillyJean]

also, he is EXACTLY what i am looking for, apart from the little detail that he is probably not in love with me..

[Junket]

also, he is EXACTLY what i am looking for, apart from the little detail that he is probably not in love with me..

Well, how important is that little detail?

[BillyJean]

we live in a tiny village, close to an international research center, so it is only us (like 80 people, plus the staff) so it is pretty claustrophobic, no big choice of friends

[BillyJean]

if he is not in love, the little detail doesn t matter.