I Just Stopped Caring

[SweetlySisi]

Hello,


So, I'm new and needed a place to turn for a little advice. I'm hoping that I get some good advice on here, because honestly my friends are only telling me what I want to hear. I just broke up with my boyfriend of nearly 3 years literally 5 minutes ago, and here's the problem, I'm not upset. We haven't talked in over a month, we both lied in the past few months of our relationship about various things, and now I'm sitting here and instead of thinking I can't believe I just broke up with the love of my life, I'm thinking thank God this is totally over now.



Honestly we were two completely different people, but that does tend to happen in relationships. You can't date a copy of yourself, there's always going to be some difference or change. I loved this man, we started dating after months of flirting. We liked each other, but we never thought it'd make it this far, and eventually [after two years of dating] I realized I wanted to marry him. I had said it to him before, almost a year ago we sat down and talked about it and he said he'd never marry. Then we started talking about moving in together [he brought that up] and what we wanted to do after college.



But now I'm sitting here and I just... I don't even care that we've broken up. I cried for all of five seconds because he said something sentimental, and now I'm sitting here and I can't help but think that maybe I've done something wrong because of the way I'm feeling.



Should I feel something more?
Why am I sitting here feeling so nonchalant about this?

[Wakeup]

Why am I sitting here feeling so nonchalant about this?

I would suspect because you've been mulling a break up over in your head for sometime now and once you finally did breakup it was like a weight being lifted off your shoulders.

There is no set rules of what you should and shouldn't be feeling after a breakup so unless you're in shock and haven't fully accepted that it's over yet, I'd say you should be feeling exactly what you are.

[devonbrown]

I agree with Wakeup. It sounds to me like you broke up with him in your head a while ago. The last month or so was probably you dealing with it in your mind and once you resolved it for yourself, you were able to make it a reality. So it isn't that you aren't mourning the relationship. It is because you already have, during your fights and the lies and the separation.

You are right that you can't date a copy of yourself. Nor would you want to. Could you imagine dating yourself? How weird... But, the differences people have have to be compatible with one another. If they aren't, then there is not much you can do.

Also, just because you are not super upset about the breakup, you might not be ready to jump right into another relationship right now. Just keep that in mind going forward. Take care of yourself first.

Good luck.

[romantic_guy]

Yep...I agree with the others. I am curious though about how he took it.

[TheTooya]

I would suspect because you've been mulling a break up over in your head for sometime now and once you finally did breakup it was like a weight being lifted off your shoulders.

There is no set rules of what you should and shouldn't be feeling after a breakup so unless you're in shock and haven't fully accepted that it's over yet, I'd say you should be feeling exactly what you are.

I 100% endorse what WakeUp is saying. I was the one that broke up from a one year relationship, followed by a two and a half year relationship. And honestly... I didn't feel much at all when I did it.

For the one year relationship... I was entirely unphased, and did not take time to move on.
The two year one, same thing. Only difference: reminiscing about time spent together kind of sucked though. *shrugs*

We deal with breakups differently. You are not a cold-hearted bitch for not bawling your head out. You *knew* it was coming, so its only natural that you are "ok" with it.