She got angry because i'm caring?

[RubenDeValck]

I would love to tell all of you the whole story but since it is rather long I will try and keep it as short as I can just to make it easy to read.

Me and my girlfriend will be together for a year next week the 22nd of may. Though, we are facing some troubles between the 2 of us. Since I am a rather emotional guy myself these problems bring me to tears alot and break me down and I can't seem to figure out how to deal with the problems. That's why i'm hoping to get some advice from females who might understand what my girlfriend feels like in this specific situation.

The situation is the following:

One day my girlfriend didnt show up at our date, this wasn't the first time (only the second time though) and because last time she ended up in the hospital (due to astma) I was Extremely worried. When I say worried I mean seriously worried. I couldn't help but send her at least 20 texts and call her 15 times that day. No answer , not one single answer all day.

so I kept getting more worried. Then 1 day later she finally called me and told me she ended up in the hospital again due to the same problems, but couldnt answer because the treatment got her too exhausted.

Me just being happe she finally made it back didn't expect the following reaction when i told her I missed her.
She got really pissed off at me and said that she found it really annoying that I sent so many texts and called so many times.
I understand it might be very annoying to get that many texts and calls but i didn't expect her to react this way.

now she is really pissed off at me and i'm just down and depressed. I feel like my beautiful girl is mad at me just because I'm worried and caring towards her.

I don't know how to solve this problem, can someone please help me out.

I must add that we are both 16 years old
i know i'm young but I need help I don't know where to go to with these problems


Thank you in Advance

Ruben

[smackie9]

Stop being clingy and needy. Hold back all the gushy stuff, don't answer her texts right away if at all, and be vague in convos. Make her miss you. Play it kool.

[RubenDeValck]

thanks for your reply but thats not my way of dealing with problems.
it may be yours and I'm not saying it's a bad way of dealing with things but that's just not how i deal with stuff like this.
It's not like me to be vague in convos or to ignore her for a certain time and even though she's being strange she doesnt deserve to be treated that way , not in my eyes

but again thanks for your response

[DoesntMatter]

Is your girlfriend Belgian?

[RubenDeValck]

No my girlfriend lived in London and was born in the UK but lives in Belgium now and has lived here for a few years.

[smackie9]

thanks for your reply but thats not my way of dealing with problems.
it may be yours and I'm not saying it's a bad way of dealing with things but that's just not how i deal with stuff like this.
It's not like me to be vague in convos or to ignore her for a certain time and even though she's being strange she doesnt deserve to be treated that way , not in my eyes

but again thanks for your response

Well if this is the case then you are not compatable with your GF because she doesn't want a clingy needy guy. I suggest you just end it before she does.

[jb1111983]

Stop being clingy and needy. Hold back all the gushy stuff, don't answer her texts right away if at all, and be vague in convos. Make her miss you. Play it kool.

it's a good advice. Sometimes we play it cool not because we don't care but because we do.

[smackie9]

it's a good advice. Sometimes we play it cool not because we don't care but because we do.

You just need a good balance of showing you care, and giving them some space so they will miss you!

[MaidenMinx]

I understand you worrying about her and feeling the need to contact her. I also understand her getting annoyed.

I've had had this problem in the past and I now refer to it as not being able to shut my stupid head up. 15 texts and 20 calls is excessive. Instead of coming off as worried and caring you have unintentionally put yourself into the nutcase basket. You seem controlling and needy and you have inadvertently shown her that if you can't have fun with her, you'll bug her so much she can't have fun with anyone else. Not your intent at all, I know. That's how you have come across though. You owe her an apology. If she is prone to hospitalisation, ask if you can have her parents contact details for the next time you are worried. Promise to never contact them except in case of emergency.

[Cerby]

Stop being clingy and needy. Hold back all the gushy stuff, don't answer her texts right away if at all, and be vague in convos. Make her miss you. Play it kool.

I agree with the first and last part, but I don't believe in a long-term healthy relationship you shouldn't answer texts or be vague. Thats for the dating game, but once you've reeled someone in and been with them for a year, this shouldn't be necessary and I would view it as playing unneccessary games with someone who you love (or should love 12 months in, otherwise its time to move on)

I know that I get frustrated if I get vague answers when I'm in a serious relationship.

[smackie9]

It's only an example.....like I said you need a good balance of showing affection and giving them space to breath. When you smother they get irritated and push you away. But I see other problems in his case. She could be thinking that she wants a change.

[Dune]

Totally agree with Cerby.. Games are only for.. Well.. The game phase. I do believe it is most healthy to be who you are and simply interact the way you normally do in a LONG-TERM relationship. Playing games that long is kinda sickening. You'd be thinking after being with a person for so long, and games are still goin on.. Jeez.

[Dune]

However, back to your question. In this case, she's outright telling you. So, YES, you need to change your communication style. Or tweak it so to speak. Put yourself in her shoes. It CAN get quite annoying.. So don't do something counter-productive. You wouldn't wanna exert effort where effort isn't due. Worse still, when it produces the undesired effect.

[HeartIsAching]

Stop being clingy and needy. Hold back all the gushy stuff, don't answer her texts right away if at all, and be vague in convos. Make her miss you. Play it kool.

That's horrible advice. That's hurting her back to make her feel what he's felt. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Possibly next time she stands you up, and fails to answer a text or six, try calling the hospital.

[smackie9]

Totally agree with Cerby.. Games are only for.. Well.. The game phase. I do believe it is most healthy to be who you are and simply interact the way you normally do in a LONG-TERM relationship. Playing games that long is kinda sickening. You'd be thinking after being with a person for so long, and games are still goin on.. Jeez.

Games the 99.9% do work....just human nature. I'm no dude, and I know this shit works.