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Thread: What did I do wrong that made a girl cry?

  1. #1
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    Waht did I do wrong?

    Hello, ladies and gentlemen,
    I know it would be quite strange to ask such a question as someone's first post, but I am really confused and woudl like to ask some advice for this matter.
    Here is how it happened,

    There is a girl I've known for a couple of years.
    I like her since the beginning but didn't prusue her because her boy friend, whom I know as well, is a very nice guy. Unfortunately, they broke up.
    Afterwards, surprisingly, she invited me to spend the christmas with her family. After having a great time with her family, I though it might be a sign and decide to make a move .
    Then, it was the new years eve. We were in the new years party with some friends until she told me she was a bit tired and asked if I can send her home. When we were in her place, she offered me to get in for a cup of tea. We talked for awhile, and she asked me if I have something to say. I told her I have a feeling of her and asked if she feels the same, then she started crying and suggested me to leave. I was so shcked that I even couldn't figure out a word to comfort her. I left after a apology for my words.

    It's been two days, and I still have no clue what I did wrong and what to do next. Since we have common friends, it's something I can't discuss with my friends. Therefore, I am here to ask your help. Any suggestion or advice will be ver appriciated.


    triplezeta
    Last edited by triplezeta; 06-01-10 at 10:31 PM.

  2. #2
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    Honestly, I have no idea what made her cry about the situation. You were honest with her, she could have easily replied that she was flattered but not interested. There is probably something else going on. Keep in mind that she wanted to leave a New Years Eve party early, maybe something was bothering her and she wasn't feeling social anymore. Don't blame yourself.
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  3. #3
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    Was she dumped by her boyfriend? Perhaps you reminded her of him somehow. Anyway, I'm as lost as you are.

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    Add me to the clueless list.

    If you want to know your going to have to ask her...which sounds tricky right now.

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    MVPlaya brought up a good point about leaving the NYE party early. Who leaves before midnight? I dunno.. she may have felt an emotional outbreak was brewing and wanted to leave. Why she cried when he expressed his feelings for her is beyond me. The only thing that I can think of is she thought she had a friend she could talk to, and he turned out to want more.

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    Probably she was really upset about something else and you expressing your feelings to her ended up setting her off... you didn't do anything wrong, but I guess the timing wasn't so great. Then again, she asked "do you have anything to say?"... what did she mean with that? What did she want you to say? I don't know...

    It would be good to try and find out what is upsetting her, but you'll have to approach her carefully next time you talk.
    Time to stop complaining when there is no reason to. Life's good, man.

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    Hello,
    sorry for my late reply.

    About her brokeup, I have no clue.
    I don't ask or enquire others personal life since it's kind of private stuff.
    However, I don't do it doesn't mean I consider it as immoral.
    I'm just not good at it so I don't do it to keep me from acting like a sneak.
    It will be welcome if anyone would like to share some experience or technique of it.

    The new year eve party.
    We left the party at about 3am, so it wasn't so early.
    The only unusual thing I found was she drank A LOT that night.
    But I though it was new years eve, who doesn't?
    Besides, all of her friends did so while their boy friends told me not to be worried about that, so we guys stuck with beer and leave the cocktail for the ladies.
    However, I don't think she was too drunk since she were still able to behave and speak English properly.
    (English is the common language between us, but not our mother tongue)
    She looked happy when we were talking in her place, even smiled when asking me if I have something to tell, and that's what made me so shocked and confused when she suddently bursted into tears.

    I even don't dear to think about pursuing her but more urge to fix our friendship now.
    Perhaps asking her what went wrong ASAP is the bast way to know, but how?
    Any suggestions would be quite appriciated, thanks.

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    Maybe the alcohol, she could be a light weight and have been more effected by the alcohol than you thought. I'm sure she's quiet sensitive yet about her break up and the holidays can be an added stress factor. Throw liquor into the mix and you may get some tears.
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    Would you call this girl a drama queen? About half the time my ex drank hard liquor, we'd get back to her place and she'd burst into tears. She'd also do the whole "Just leave" thing. It was always a complete mystery to me, and she'd never explain it to me the next day -- often telling me she doesn't even remember why.

    She had a lot of emotional baggage, but she kept it under control. Throw a little booze into the mix though, and things come flooding out. You should ask her why she cried. I think you deserve an answer.

  10. #10
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    Girls. LOL.

    When we were in her place, she offered me to get in for a cup of tea. We talked for awhile, and she asked me if I have something to say. I told her I have a feeling of her and asked if she feels the same, then she started crying and suggested me to leave.
    She asked you in, alone, to talk. You told her you like her. Then she cried and told you to get out. LOL (again).

    1. She likes you & can't believe you are too dopey to realize it already.

    2. She likes you but is guilty b/c she is seeing someone else.

    3. She is a drama queen and/or nuts. OR, you came across as really creepy.

    Talk to her a little bit more and decide which. Run with it if 1. Run away if anything else.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Thank you, people. Your advices are already quite helpful.

    I finally did something I shoud had done when I posted this post, call her.

    I first apologized for ruining her new years eve and promised it won't happen again if she can tell me what mistake I had made.
    She told me she had been just drunk at that moment, and it was not the righ time for her to talk about any relationship.
    However, we can still be friends.
    I didn't ask further but just agreed with her that we'll still be friends, and talked some minor stuffs.

    Though we'll still meet for some plans we made, but I think that's it, isn't it?
    "we can still be friends"= "not interested"
    It's almost a cliche that even I can understand what it means.
    The reason why she cried doesn't seem matter anymore though I still got no clue why.

    Thank you all again for the advices you gave.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by triplezeta View Post
    Though we'll still meet for some plans we made, but I think that's it, isn't it?
    "we can still be friends"= "not interested"
    Yep.

    The reason why she cried doesn't seem matter anymore though I still got no clue why.
    Because you have closure now and aren't holding on to hope that she might like you.

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