Horoscopes For Today: 8/25/2004
You have a smile for everyone. You're all walking together toward the same future, so it pays to be a good neighbor. Along with so many others that you know, you're poised to undertake something new. You've never felt more prepared. Your skills are a perfect match for the goal that you hope to achieve. Taking chances seems like the most natural thing in the world. Even without the benefit of hindsight, you know that a certain sleight of hand or combination of events will set everything going your way.

I wish I was good with words so that I could tell you all how happy I am. I've never felt so alive, so .. well, just so damned great !!

Last night I let Ally know that things will not progress between us anymore than they already have, and in fact, that we had to back it off .. alot. She understood.. or at least claimed she did. So things are pretty much settled there.

Andira also came over last night to visit with me. She came over in the middle of me watching a movie so I made her sit quietly until it was done. After the movie was over I took my brother home, and she wanted to ride with me.. so I let her, but made her sit in the back. Then on the way home, she got the front.. Then when I got home I said my goodbye for the night, and gave her a small hug (the one armed side hug thats friends always give). I kept her at a noticeable distance from me tonight - she is a smart woman and I knew she would figure it out, and she did. We are friends. Nothing more will ever be.

Now I have my obstacles out of the way, and I have my sights on my target. Elena. She is the one that is readily available for me and that I like the most out of all the women. I am not basing my decision out of planning, or visualizing the future with her.. But more of a spontaneous act. Live for the moment. If things dont work out, so be it. Live and learn. But this is what I want, here and now. I want to be with Elena.

So finally Things are comming at me, and I'm putting them in place just as fast... Just like in my old days. Everything is looking up. Obstacles come, and are overcome. Things popup, and I put them in place. Its like a well oiled machine. bam bam bam. one after another.

Today is my freedom day. Every Wednesday and Saturday is my freedom day. My baby's mama (I've always wanted to say that) is comming to visit him, so I disappear durring her visitation times. No kid. Just me, my friends, and whatever I want to do. I am going to call Elena to see if she wants to hang out today. If she does I am gonna get her, then take her back to my place (my dads house, lol), and let the two meet (Destine and Elena). I don't know exactly what is going to happen, but I do know that it must be done. Dont ask me why - I feel like Neo when he said he has to go to Machine City. It just has to be done. How will it help me ? I dont know. Will it hurt me ? I dont know.

I do know that it wont be a long meet - we wont all sit down and start talking or anything - it will be just a quick pass from the door to the living room to where they both are introduced, and then Elena and I head off to my room. I'm telling you, I'm really nervous about the whole ordeal - but something keeps telling me it has to be done. Its part of the process. Its something that must be put into place or else will get out of hand later - and no, i dont know what that means just yet, but in time I will understand.

Labor day weekend. OMG. That is going to be the turning point of everything. My fork in the road. The decision that I'm not in control of. My life will go one of two ways. And each way is a pretty big step. 1) Elena will go, she will have fun, we will grow closer, we will kiss and cuddle, we will then fall asleep (no sex) together in the same bed, and we will become a couple. OR 2) She wont grow close to me, she will refuse to kiss me, we wont cuddle, and therefore we wont fall asleep in the same bed together, and thus will not become a couple and grow apart back down to just friends.

Currently we stand just above friendship level - a place I've never been before - it seems I've skipped this place before... idk. We are good friends, that cuddle closely.... we dont kiss tho. Its a weird place for me. I dont know where I am at with her.. lol - Labor day weekend will tell the truth and things will go either way from there.

And what if we dont become a couple ? Will I go back to Ally or Andira ? No. Whats done is done. I've sealed those cans, reopening a sealed can just makes troubles. It will then be time to go on to other cans. (why the hell do I always use analogies that sound so stupid ?)

I seriously doubt anyone is reading all of this post, but oh well.. I will continue to blabber on about nothingness.

My work is going great - everyone loves me here, and have become really dependent on the things I do for the company. Chris (VP of company) has made alot of compliments about the departments. The look of them and the operation of them. I've cleaned everything and reorganized everything so that everything is easier to find and use, and it just looks so damned good - and because of that the entire building is running more smoothly and better than ever before. Collating has never been as fast as it is now. And Followup has never been as fast and accurate as I do it. So work is running perfectly. Everything is falling in line.

My home life is running perfectly. I have the custody battle 'in the bag' - Destine doesnt pay child support and she hasn't showed to over half of her visitation times... And when she is there she doesnt spend time with Bryce - she sits him on the floor and goes to the dinning room and sits and smokes and talks with my dad... How ****ed is that ?! She doesnt even spend time with her own son. So I talked to my lawyer and we are going to win this case by "default". And I am going to fill out this form that will be the final thing of what I want and destine will not have a say so in it what so ever because she is in contempt of court and we are filling default. If she doesnt want to pay child support for her son, so be it - she will loose all visitations to her son. I want her out of our lives forever. And yes I have thought about what it will do to my son, but when he gets older if he ever wants to meet her, I will let him - I will never lie to him, and I will tell him everything that she has done to him, me, and herself. If he still wants to meet her, so be it. But as of now - she is just another obstacle in my son and I's way. So things are going great in my home life as well. Everything's falling in line.

My other home life is going ****ing great ! I have friends now and it is just like the old days. Everyone in my past has always looked to me for answers, guidance, and adventure. I was the leader of the pack. And I am there again. I am the leader of the pack again. We have fun times and everyone enjoys being around me once again. These are good times. Everything is falling in line.

My love life seems to be getting better for reason previously mentioned. Either way the outcome is next weekend, it will not be a bad thing - it will be a learning experience nonetheless. Truth will come out and lives will be changed. Everything is falling in line.

Everything is definately falling in line.