My husband has been depressed for about 9 months now. A few months ago he started going to a therapist and they have him on some medication. He was suicidal for a while, but he thinks the medicine is helping now.
For the last half year or so, any sexual relations we have had were initiated by me. He has put in very little effort, but when something physical would happen, he seemed to enjoy it. But, it has started to wear on me and make me feel unloved and frustrated. I stopped trying about 2 months ago to see what would happen...if he would start trying to initiate something or just let our sex life die. He has let it die. I've brought it up to him 3 times(each time about a week apart) in hopes that he would put in more effort. Each time he said he would try but never did. It's been almost 2 weeks since I've said anything and nothing has changed.
I know he loves me and is not cheating. He is almost completely dependent on me financially and emotionally. I am really unhappy and have thought about leaving him but I know that would hurt him so much. I do love him and I do not want him to hurt himself.
I am just so sexually frustrated. I have started fantasizing about one of my close friends and it's making me feel guilty. Nothing would ever happen because he is happily married, but I still think about it all the time. And, if he were into me, I am not sure how strong willed I would be.
Some days I just want to pack my stuff up while he is out and leave.
Does anyone have some advice? I could really use some. Thanks