This is my first post. I've been with my boyfriend over a year now and from the start had hit and miss feelings for him. I've always been a bit shy with people til I get to know them and in relationships the lad has needed to make first move even to cuddle. I'm fine talking to my bf as a friend like where we could go ect even talking about the future together and stuff I'm fine with. He has said he's ready to make love but it takes a few drinks to get him to say that (he has said it when I asked him when sobar as well by text) I've always wanted a bf who will take things slow but I'd like to feel more comfortable about doing more by now and he seems to be in same situation.
The other thing is my feelings for him at the minute I do feel like I love him but its only the last few week I've started feeling this. Before that I wasn't that bothered over seeing him we always meet at weekends as he works full time. He HATES his job and has made that very clear just about every weekend for the last few month. Long conversations about his boss or someone else he doesn't like ect. He has never took it out on me but it does get a bit boring to listen to especially on the phone where all I can do is listen. I've ignored phone calls from him because of this but he doesn't know. He also gets stressed easily which can make me uncomfortable at time though other times we have laugh about it like when we see idiot drivers he will moan and I laugh it off. He likes a few drinks every so often and he's great after a few more relaxed and funny, sometimes I've prefered him a bit drunk than sober.
We have had lots of good times together the first being his birthday last year we went away overnight and had few drinks 1st day and was singing to me but then later had headache and I felt so sorry for him but it made me realise I loved him. I would of loved to stay another night and so would he. He loves my dog and we take him walks together. We have only had 1 argument in over a year which I think is what made me stop loving him as much in July last year was his fault which he later admitted and I was so happy that it wouldn't make us split up. After that I gradually felt less for him. I've always cared about him but didn't enjoy time with him as much. In September we went to same place as we went for his birthday for 2 nights this time 1st night we both got bit drunk and had good time next day was fine but that night I was bored in pub but he couldn't drink much because he was driving us home next morning and I didn't feel like having much. He moaned about having to go home next day wasn't happy I had to get home for my dog as he'd be on his own a few hours before we got back. Basically I'd of gone home that night if I could though I didn't say that. Next day was fine. My bf went away in December I didn't go with him as I couldn't afford spending money and I wasn't that bothered over going. This year we had day at coast my bf was on about trying to find a b and b to stay over night I wasn't bothered but once we was there I did want to stay though we decided we'd look into going again in summer instead. From then I've felt more for him again. We have now planned where to go walking for this weekend and maybe the next few weekends so hopefully I'll stay feeling this way about him.
Has anyone else had mixed feelings about a partner. My bf has always seemed to never have any doubts about me and its 100% down to him that we even got together as we had a bad start and I'd given up on him but he kept texting me and I agreed to meet him again and from then we got on well.