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Thread: having my first doubts

  1. #1
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    having my first doubts

    My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost exactly a year now an we are both seniors in college. Recently we had some silly dumb fight where it would take about 10 mins to make amends again… but I’m finding myself unsure if I even want too. It’s a weird feeling that I can’t figure out so I came to you for opinions, an maybe writing this out will help even more.
    First off she’s really easy to be around and we basically become best friends over this last year. We both have similar interest and enjoy doing things together. I have complete trust in her and she really does want the best for me. I am definitely in love with her but I know deep down she loves me more than I do her. We are both in our last year of college and sometimes I feel like we are on a countdown anyway to the end of the year, and I should just break it off now while I’m still in college and meeting people is still so easy. Also what worries me is that I don’t want to break it off because we spent so much time together, I feel cutting her out of my life I would not have the friends I did before… This in turn worries me even more and I should suck it up and break it off sooner. Also she’s no longer as attractive to me as when we started dating which is never a good thing. There is also so many other good things about our relationship…but yet I still find myself not wanting to make amends as if I’m subconsciously trying to tell myself something. Also breaking off this relationship seems so daunting and would majorly hurt me and her, yet I wonder if in 2 months afterwards I would be more happy? Or just made the worst mistake.

  2. #2
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    Before anyone comes in here and says you're a horrible person, I just wanna say I agree with you, dude. I loved a girl I got along with great but was interested in seeing other people.

    In your case, you might be apprehensive she wants to get married. Regardless of your love for her, if you're not ready for that then don't pretend you are. If she brings it up then firmly state you are definitely not ready for marriage. I'm saying this because a lot of women wanna marry their boyfriend right after college. Heck, many want to right after high school.

    If you're feeling other women then go for it, man. The good times you're living don't last forever.

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    Also she’s no longer as attractive to me as when we started dating which is never a good thing.
    Are you referring to her looks, or her personality?

    Also, you must know what YOU want before you can contribute to a long-term relationship. Do you want to date other people but you feel guilty about it? Or do you just have a general feeling that you don't want to settle down yet? Or do you simply want to meet other girls and see what they are like?

    Think about what you want. The answer will help you make your decision about what to do.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

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