I have really big doubts and i need some advices

[Laurik]

First of all i want to tell you that i'll try to make this post as little as i can not to become boring for the one who is reading it.
Three weeks have past since my gf broke up with me mainly because of arguing like two childs(we are 21 both)and because we were high and mighty.I begged her,acted needy and finally revenged like a moron(nothing very big) and no result.After the waters cooled she asked me to remain friends and i accepted mainly because i thought that was a chance to reunite with her.
Last week i discovered the ex2 system of Matt Houston and read it twice and applied the NC method,this is something like ignore your gf and she'll come back to you.After 4 days of not contacting her she called me and asked me a meeting because it was her birthday last week and wanted to give me a drink,i accepted and today i've met her.
I applied most of the advices found on that book and i was very cool,confident and cheerful and i didnt acted needy,disperate or sad.We laughed a lot and talked anything but nothing about our past relationship.Before i left her home he hugged me for about 3 minutes ,kissed me on the cheek and said to me "i was very happy to spend that time with you,i really missed you very much"and she had little tears in her eyes.After that she got out of the car and left.At that moment i was thinking...wow it's been a very good meeting,i progressed a lot in trying to get my girl back.Some other things happened during the meeting that maked me think like that and those are:She chilled of my hands because i was very cold,she teased me very much,she acted almost like we were together but with no kisses,hugs and touches.And to return at what happened after that.She called me and asked me if i was dating someone else because it was something weird about me all that happines and smiling,i told her no,asked her the same and got the same answer.After that i asked why asking and she told me because some time from now on i cant imagine that you date another girl and i told her thats my feeling too,i never imagine you would date another guy.After a break she told me well once and once one of us will meet another guy/girl and one of us will have to accept this.I said ok and thats all.
Now the bolded thing really destroyed me...i had so much hopes in getting her back and she dispelled all of it with only one phrase.
Now after reading all that please can you give me some advices what to do next?Try to contact her after some days and go to another meet or stick to NC method and let her contact me,if she will ever do that.I have really big doubts and i really dont know what to do from this point.
Excuse me if there is bad language,english is not my native language.Thank you very much in advance.

[Ariadne]

Why are you playing games with her? =\

[Laurik]

I was not playing games with her,only tried to be confident and not needy and make her feel good all the time that she was with me...

Later edit:Or tried to show her that i am again the guy she met,not the one that i was in the last months of the relationship.

[xxazurexx]

The fact that you are appearing confident, happy, etc will be no more than easing her guilt for dumping you IMO. She will be overjoyed that you are taking this so well because it makes her feel better about what she did and she is probably wondering why she never dumped you sooner, if she'd known you would take it so good.

Sorry but I think those books are a load of shite. Advising people how to act and after a breakup...lol

It's like this. The only way that you will ever reunite with an ex, is if their hearts are still with you and the relationship. Nothing you say, don't say, do or don't do, whether acting happy or sad will bring back an ex whose heart is no longer with you - they only return and if they want too and if they still have feelings.

[Laurik]

Maybe you are right about those books but what i can tell you is that book really opened my mind and made me saw all the bad things i did in my relationship...and i wanted to change it!!
Beside that anyone shares another thoughts?

[DDD]

Sorry bro.... xxazurexx is right on the money with this one. I know it's not what you want to hear but in this forum its our job to tell people what they need to hear, not what they want to hear. You can't force someone to love you or be with you. Those love books are misleading because they make people feel like they can lure their Ex's back like fishing. This isn't fishing and you cant get her to take the bait. She has her own free will. I wish the best to you but hope you don't sell yourself short by refusing to look to the future.

[Jman39]

i know what ur going through

but get this: there is NO way you can MAKE someone love you. all the advice you read is only to "help" you increase ur chances, but its no gaurantee.

the advice of not being needy, and acting confident is actually the right way to go about it... why? cus if you acted the way you felt, begging for her to come back to you, she will be pushed away even further... reason is, she probably felt bored or too entrapped by the relationship... she probably told you she "needed some time, or needed some space." thats the cue that shes bored... this means you need to go out and get a life of your own... you were depending on her too much for happiness, and that eventually pushed her away...

my advice-stay strong and keep urself busy, do ur own thing and only a win win situation will come out of it.
she will realise she misses you so much cus ur gave her her space, and she will want you back (in which case u HAVE to really think about, she left you once, she can do it again). you need to reevaluate instead of taking her back the instant she gives you a little attention.
or, you "slowly" move on... trust me, u will. And since u have been busy with your own life, you will have learned soemthing new, gain a lil confidence back after having ur heart broken, be a little bit more emotionally strong... and you can find the next one to day

[Laurik]

I know that there is no way i can make someone love me,its so damn truth,but thats the thing that i want to accomplish,to increase my chances of getting her back.
About that:"she probably felt bored or too entrapped by the relationship",i cant believe i didnt see this till now, im sure thats one of the reasons of breaking up with me.
"You were depending on her too much for happiness, and that eventually pushed her away",this is another TRUE statement man,VERY,VERY TRUE....unfortunately
When i met her i told her i've started going to the gym,going to college and having fun with new ppl but she didnt reacted at all,or maybe i didnt see the reaction dont know.
And i think my biggest mistake was telling her after we broke up..that all my life was around her..all the things that i did was for her..etc...I was really f.. up that time and reacted emotional,not logic.
Thank you very,very much for the advices so far...especially to Jman39.
Update for today:
She called me and we talked for about 20 minutes only as friends just as i expected.Tho i didnt expect her to call me so soon i didn't had the guts to tell her not to contact me anymore because i'm scared of losing her entirely.
I really cant understand how a women can ignore all the good and bad moments that we had together and talk only about nonsense..like her friends,relatives and what she did today etc
I think i really need to man the f.. up but i CANT :| And i cant describe my feelings..its so damn...
If any other advices on your mind please shoot!

[Laurik]

Another update:Today she called me again and we talked about her driver license exam,her fights with her parents and irelevant other things for about half an hour.I can't support anymore her acting..ffs only friends it drives me crazy,anyway didnt showed that.At the end of the conversation i asked her a meet on Friday or Saturday night and told her i need to talk to her and she accepted.
Thats my plan:I'm going to hang out with her,maybe in a park or smth like that,we'll talk about her things and if i dont get any sign of giving her guard down i'm going to ask her politely after a month of separation another chance.If i get a yes that's done and my hard work here begins,if not in going to smile and tell her ok,i respect your decision so be it.And before leaving her home im going to give her a little gift,a framed photo with us and i'll tell her,I respected your decision please take this gift in our memory and i want to ask you to respect my decision too.I want some time to heal myself and not to contact me anymore(Here i really want her to see the life without me because atm i think she's using me only to have another friend for complains)
I think thats the best thing i can do right now,right?
If you can give me another advices about the meeting,about the signs i could look for to know she lets her guard down please help me.And if u have suggestions about what should i do with her write here.
Thank you in advance

[Laurik]

Any advice,something?

[Laurik]

I feel so good my friends!!!! And i didnt get her back at all!!!
What happened today?
Well..i got to the mall to see the movie and at the entrance she told me...we can watch the movie here or at my place,u choose.Ofc i choose at her place.
We arrived at hers and ordered some food and watched grown ups,a comedy.Untill at that point all thigs were doing great..half of the movie i didnt touched her and after i really couldnt control my self i got freaky emotionaly and very easy i tooked her hand and after 10 minutes she was in my arms.Again at this point i was....weeeee) Ofc in my head.
The movie ended and i because all things i thought were ok i tried to kiss her but she said NO.Ffs at that point i was i cant believe this,she's playing games with me!!!I couldnt control myself and burst into tears like a little child but in 3 seconds i remembered MAN UP DUDE,MAN UP!!! And i smiled and told her...yea ure right we shouldnt do this because we are only friends.After that i went to a mirror and i speaked in my head Gather up,be a man and tell her what you want to do(at this time she was behind me watching me).I tooked her hand and i said to her i respect your decision,but we cant be friends anymore because i love you so much and i cant wait untill you are ready to give me another chance.I need some time to gather myself and to live my life without you.At this point she bursted into tears and cried for about half an hour and begged me only to remain friends.I told her..i cant see you anymore and she told me pleeease only once a month i want to speak with you only at the phone,thats all im asking.In my head i had only an answer and that was NO and that's the answer she got from me.Before i left she told me...i love you soooooo much baby thats why i what only to remain friends and i was thinking...yea yea ofc only till u bang another guy and then u will forget about me.
That was the first time when i saw her DISPERATE,i was wooooow i cant believe my eyes.
I left her place and standed in frot of her building in the car for about 5 minutes and she was on the window and looked at me.After i started the engine she called me instant and again begged me to remain friends,i told her no and after that she asked me are you sure is a no?and i told her yes i'm very sure its a no.And she told me ok then you'll never get a sign from me your entire life.Good night/Good night and thats was all.
Now... my last hope with her is gone and even if i really want to get back with her i feeeeeel so gooood that all the things some of you told me were so freakin RIGHT!!!
THANK YOU GUYS,THANK YOU FROM THE DEEP OF MY HEART!You really helped me a lot!
Now im asking some of your opinions about what happened tonight and i need again some advices what to do next because i'm not really in the mood to meet another girls and stuff like that.
Thank you again,again and again

[Laurik]

It seems no one is interested in this anymore,i;ve posted for nothing here for a few days.
Thank you.
Thread Closed

[damn2010]

Looks like she might want you back...but you're playing the right cards by staying distant. She is scared knowing you're WILLING to step out of her life and that is what frightens her because you are a source of comfort. Keep the slight "distance" and remain friends but keep time between you short and play it cool and slow.

If you do get back together, take it slow and easy, she might fall back into a comfort zone and old habits knowing she has you again.