Boyfriend doesn't show affection anymore. Is it normal?

[williesarus]

Beginning of the relationship was like heaven, he treated you like a baby. Shower you with love..
And as we go along... He gets comfortable, he doesnt say I love you unless i say it first.

We broke up for 2 months because he said that we're spending too much time with each other and he couldnt breathe. We got back together and he told me, "This time, things are gonna be different ok? We have to give each other more space in order to let our relationship last longer."

And yes he became different, he don't really say sweet stuffs unless i say it first.
So... he went on a holiday with his family, but he didn't bother texting me that he arrived until i saw him online.

I told him:
"wow you have reception there?"
he : "Hahaha are you like stalking me! how did you know that i was online!"
So he started to tell me about the place and environment he is in.
And i ended off by saying "hahaha Okay i shall not disturb you. have a great day!<3 "
He replied, "You too! have a great day^^." Then i said,"I love you!" He didn't reply after that.

So a few hour passes, he went online before he slept, tweeted "goodnight world!" But he didnt bother texting me goodnight and stuffs.

In the morning i drop a text and said : "Aw.. u have the time to tweet but not send me a goodnight text "
Then he replied "Can you stop thinking so much and stuffs? just let me have a peaceful holiday."
I didn't reply because i dont wanna annoy him further. Then.... last night he tweeted "Paid for wifi!" and he kept tweeting but i didnt receive a single text from him. i don't wanna start the convo because i dont wanna look needy.

What should i do?
Am i being paranoid? Or is it that he just got too comfortable?

[searock]

The best thing you can do is to stop initiating contact altogether. He is being rude and disrespectful in treating you like this. He's making you feel needy and clingy even when you just ask for a normal bf-gf communication. It's like he's doing it on purpose to tweet but not contact you. He wants "space"? Fine, let him have it. When he eventually contacts you (he sure will, once he realizes you are not initiating communication first), wait for some time before replying (even an hour) and then wait for him to contact you again. DO NOT contact him first. He is totally taking you for granted and isn't listening to you at all. Stop waiting for him, you deserve to be treated better.

[Superfantastich]

Forgive me if im wrong but isn't a relationship a union where you to an extent share your life with the other?
A simple good morning/night with a little sentence on your days plan or what you did isn't exactly going to make anyone feel smothered, sorry to say but he just sounds lazy

[williesarus]

He gives hot and cold. Sometimes he would text me randomly saying "love you baby!" then i'll be like aww..
But sometimes he just treats me coldly. I don't know, maybe he is really busy and just wanna have a peaceful holiday.
He definitely got comfortable in our relationship..... i don't know.

I told him once can you treat me better? He started to talk back and said "Stop being so insecure. Things are getting fine between us right? Why do you have to be so paranoid?" Yes, things r getting better compared to last time. But the thought of him not sending me a text when he got wifi connection makes me feel unimportant.

I said, " I don't know why. All i know is i love you. "
He said, "I know you love me, but you have to give me some space sometimes ok? I love you too."

Giving me hot n cold like katy perry. sigh.

[searock]

Are you going to follow my advice to not contact him first? He's obviously playing games with you and you are letting him. Your relationship is clearly NOT "fine", since YOU don't feel comfortable in this situation, so he has no right to patronize you in making you feel like you are the crazy paranoid one. Do not contact him first and don't fall at his feet as soon as he contacts you, no matter what he says.

[williesarus]

Are you going to follow my advice to not contact him first? He's obviously playing games with you and you are letting him. Your relationship is clearly NOT "fine", since YOU don't feel comfortable in this situation, so he has no right to patronize you in making you feel like you are the crazy paranoid one. Do not contact him first and don't fall at his feet as soon as he contacts you, no matter what he says.

yes i definitely will. thank u for your advices

[searock]

Good luck then, keep us updated .

[williesarus]

sigh he is online again. tweeted. came online, no text. i think it might be because i pissed him off the other day by asking him why didn't he text me and stuffs.

[searock]

Stop thinking that you are the one making mistakes here! He is treating you wrong by not dedicating time to your relationship. If he was in love with you he would do anything to make you happy. Try to focus on something else instead, a hobby, your job, reading a book - anything but him. He isn't worthy of all your worries. It's not a healthy relationship if he doesn't even care about the way he makes you feel. He doesn't even listen to you when you try to communicate - he actually manages to make you feel guilty about it! What sort of boyfriend would do that. Give him all the "space" he wants, see how he likes being ignored, for a change.

[williesarus]

He used to be so so so freaking sweet to me. He once went overseas the minute he landed, he bought a prepaid card just to text me. He won't let me hang up the phone if i don't end the talk with "I love you.".
He buy me so many stuff. He was once so sweet to me. and after we broke up for 2months he became like this. I felt that i could do something to save us. But i dont know how.

[searock]

You need to understand that you are not the cause of the problem. You have done nothing wrong. It's unfair of him to make you feel guilty just for being in love with him, and for wishing to have a normal, healthy relationship. It is normal for two persons in a healthy, loving relationship to communicate with each other throughout the day. It shouldn't feel like a "burden", quite the opposite. It is not normal for him to feel like he is "forced" to call/text you: he should want to do so, he should look forward to hearing your voice and talk with you. If he doesn't, there is something wrong with your relationship. But, according to what you have written on this thread, it's NOT because of anything you did/are doing. You are trying your best to please him and to save your relationship, so stop worrying about not doing enough. Now it's up to him. Right now, he just doesn't seem to care. He should have the decency to at least tell you what is going on, instead of stringing you along in this sick hot/cold game. If he isn't happy with the relationship, he shouldn't act like "everything is fine". If you aren't happy and you communicate it to him, he should try to help you, rather than make you feel even worse by calling your love "paranoia" and "clingyness".

Try to take your mind off him for a while. Go out with your friends, read a novel, watch a movie, cook yourself a nice meal. Fill your day with something that is not thinking about him, or checking when he is online, or waiting for him to contact you. You will soon find that you really don't need him in order to be serene.

[williesarus]

You need to understand that you are not the cause of the problem. You have done nothing wrong. It's unfair of him to make you feel guilty just for being in love with him, and for wishing to have a normal, healthy relationship. It is normal for two persons in a healthy, loving relationship to communicate with each other throughout the day. It shouldn't feel like a "burden", quite the opposite. It is not normal for him to feel like he is "forced" to call/text you: he should want to do so, he should look forward to hearing your voice and talk with you. If he doesn't, there is something wrong with your relationship. But, according to what you have written on this thread, it's NOT because of anything you did/are doing. You are trying your best to please him and to save your relationship, so stop worrying about not doing enough. Now it's up to him. Right now, he just doesn't seem to care. He should have the decency to at least tell you what is going on, instead of stringing you along in this sick hot/cold game. If he isn't happy with the relationship, he shouldn't act like "everything is fine". If you aren't happy and you communicate it to him, he should try to help you, rather than make you feel even worse by calling your love "paranoia" and "clingyness".

Try to take your mind off him for a while. Go out with your friends, read a novel, watch a movie, cook yourself a nice meal. Fill your day with something that is not thinking about him, or checking when he is online, or waiting for him to contact you. You will soon find that you really don't need him in order to be serene.

sigh.... we shall seee.... thank u so much for your kind advice! means alot. thank u

[jschenone]

This guy isn't worth your time. He's being really rude and unthoughtful. Being in a relationship means being intimate, comfortable, sharing thoughts/feelings/emotions, and being closer to anyone on many different levels.
From the conversations you've shared, it seems like you two are more friends than boyfriend/girlfriend!
"Are you stalking me now?" and "Okay, I shall not disturb you" are things that my boyfriend and I never even think of saying to each other! My boyfriend feels flattered and excited if I message him online (which I rarely do b/c we talk on the phone if we need to talk)

if this relationship is bringing you down, then maybe it isn't the right one for you. If he feels he can't breathe when he's in a relationship, then I feel he isn't ready to be in one. you have to go in a relationship knowing that some parts of your life will change and you will constantly have to be sharing it with another person. however, you can ALWAYS always find time for yourself even if you ARE in a relationship.

[sadie_genie]

Time to find a new guy.

[IndiReloaded]

Searock has this covered. Are you a slave or an employee, to only interact with him when *he* says its okay to?

This guy thinks too much of himself. Kick him to the curb and find a guy who respects you. He doesn't.