How do you know if it's time to end the relationship?

[tanner]

I have been dating my girlfriend for 4 years. Lately we can't seem to get out of each others way and we are both considering ending the relationship. She is a very insecure girl. Wherever we go she is always asking me if I looked at other girls. She wants me to make sure I don't see any girls when we are out in public. She doesn't want me to do things alone out of fear that I will see and like another girl. She doesn't want me to have friends without her. Last week we were at the movies and she made us leave because she thought I looked at a girl when we walked to our seats. She has extreme jealousy and it has been really bothering me lately. She said she knows she's jealous and doesn't want to be. She says she's working on it. Unfortunately, I am so fed up with it that I am very mean when she asks me about other women. We fight all the time about it. I have never cheated and always been very loyal.

This has been going on since the beginning of the relationship. I stuck around because I was trying to help her and figured it would go away eventually. Sexually, things are non existent for a long time.

I know I should go but I worry that I will regret it. I do love her a lot.

Please help.

[Mish]

I've been with a girl like that once, these insecurities were quite annoying, especially since I've never done anything to warrant them. It will be a long road to recovery, but if you love her as much as you say you do it's possible to reach the light at the end of the tunnel. Have you two done counselling?

[tanner]

We talked about couples therapy. She said she is embarrassed about her insecurity and wouldn't want to talk about it there. I said I will only go if we can be open. I am really struggling here.

[IndiReloaded]

Well, first you should not have left that movie. You are feeding her beast and letting her trample your boundaries.

What would have happened if you asked her to calm down & say you will discuss it later, but now you are out & want to have a good time with her?

[tanner]

I have tried to take a hard line to not enable this behavior. Whenever I do that she gets very upset and sometimes angry. She tells me that it doesn't work for her and she will leave the relationship if I cant help her.

[Raze]

She doesn't seem worth it to me. In my opinion, I think you both are DESPERATE to be with her and she doesn't feel the same way. You are giving a t-rex a huge steak with your desperation to be with her and she obviously won't do anything to help. You will be better off without her I think. If she won't do anything to help the relationship, is she worth it? Cmon now!

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

I am not as insecure as this girl, but we share alot of similarities. She should get over her not wanting a third person thing because counseling might help.

I am considering it in the future to help me get over my insecurities. Right now I have this mentality that all men are out to **** me over and leave me broken hearted. My current bf and I are going through problems which can relate to this because I would not trust him if he went out alone or with his friends.

I hope counseling can help us, because to get over being jealous on your own is right next to impossible IMO.

Same thing goes for you and your gf. If you think you can work things out and you have the patience to try because you will need alot of it, and if you love her like you say you do, you guys should do the counseling. Explain to her that if she really wants to get over her insecurities, she has to put her pride on the backburner for right now and try to get help. It's the only thing I can see as a possibility of getting over it. Motivation always helps me.

[tanner]

So back to my original question. How does one decide if the relationship is worth saving or if you are just holding on to good memories from a long time ago?