Confused and really just thinking outloud to anonymous people, LOL

[crysania]

I spend all day, every day talking to a man who lives in another state over the internet. This has been going on for about four weeks now. He came to my state and we met at a function. There was an immediate chemistry - not necessarily sexual, just an instant connection. He went home and that was when the internet chit chat began.

We both have partners. We don't really speak of anything deep and meaningful. Our partners are acknowledged in our conversations, but never really discussed.

I find lately I am living for the times when we chat. He is all I think about. I find reasons to contact him, and once we start, we go on for hours. This past week, we have been chatting constantly (in between little bits of work, lol) from about 9am until 5pm.

I might be at a family bbq, but I'll have my iphone out checking it ever 5 minutes to see if he's sent me something.

I'm becoming obsessed with him.

I have no idea how he feels about me, but he instigates about 80% of our conversations.

In the past week, things have gotten a little deeper. We speak of more personal things now. I went through a difficult time at work, and he talked me through the whole thing. My own partner couldn't care less.

I am confused and a little worried and have no idea what is going on here. I don't even speak to my best girlfriends as much as I speak to this guy!

Logic tells me he has to think there's some kind of connection if he keeps up the chatting too right? Do people who are just friends do this kind of thing?

[OriginalWogBoy]

Right now I think you are finding emotional comfort in this guy which in a way is emotional cheating. This is deeper then just friends, you said so yourself. You honestly need to ask yourself where you see this going because you can't keep it up, it's unhealthy to be obsessed with someone who isn't your partner.

[crysania]

you are spot on! Thank you for responding. I think I feel flattered that he's as interested in talking to me as I am with him. I should really get over it, LOL!

[dickriculous]

In the past week, things have gotten a little deeper. We speak of more personal things now. I went through a difficult time at work, and he talked me through the whole thing. My own partner couldn't care less.

The part in bold makes me think your current partner is leaving you with an emotional void and you are looking elsewhere to fill it. If your partner is generally uncaring toward these sorts of things, have you tried talking to him/her (assuming "him" from here on out correct me if I'm wrong) about how much it bothers you? You'd be surprised at how dense my gender can be at times lol he might literally be unaware of what he's doing and how much it's bothering you.

Unfortunately, it's also possible that he really doesn't care that much...I would talk to him and try to find out if he's willing to be more caring and emotionally connect with you more, and if he is aware of how much his lack of effort in doing so is bothering you. If he is then give him some time...these types of changes of heart are not immediate (be cautious of immediate changes because oftentimes they do not last). If he is not willing to put forth more effort into emotionally connecting with you and being more caring then it sounds like he is not what you are looking for in a partner.