My relationship is a confusing one.

[MissShrimpy]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 months, and recently, things have been going a bit hectic. To keep this short, there is a high chance I might be depressed and he has anxiety problems as well as getting mad often.
At the beginning of our relationship, we both found ourselves with extreme freedom, meaning, there was no problem with either of us going out when ever we wanted, he often stayed over at peoples houses for parties (my parents are too strict to let me go). He always asked if I was fine with him going, if I had any problems, and for a long time, I said it's fine for you to go out have a bit to drink and stay round people's houses. Then slowly, he started to not ask if it was okay or if I had a problem with it. It turned from "can I go" to "I'm going". Then for the royal wedding (The 29th April) I asked if we could spend the day and night together and he said thats fine, then a week later he forgot about it and pronounced he was going to a party that night, and even when I said we already had plans he decided to go. After that I started to get a bit upset every time he went out.
Due to me possibly being depressed, I get upset a lot obviously. And recently, he gets mad, even if I am trying to flirt and be a bit cheeky, he won't always see that side to it and tell me to stop because I'm annoying him, or if I'm playfully trying to tease him or have a joke he also gets mad. Even when I try and have a proper conversation he also gets mad at me.
He's also turned so selfish, exclaiming how he "wants freedom" and wants to be himself and do what he wants. It feels like I am not in consideration at all. We both know our relationship is on tough tides at the moment, I refuse to say it outloud, whilst he will happily announce "we are not good for each other at the moment" "Sometimes I do not want to be with you" "I don't want to be in this relationship" and I know he is only saying how he feels, but he knows he is only saying it because he is mad.
I just feel as if he doesn't put enough effort into keeping me happy, and its more about himself than the relationship.
For example, we both have an xbox and are frequent Call Of Duty players, and this weekend it was Double Exp, I asked if he could wait for me when he reached his prestige so we could play together and have a little race to the next prestige and he declined saying he wasn't going to "waste exp". It's just the little things he refuses to do for me.
I don't even understand it myself really, I just wanted to vent it out.
I feel like the only way to keep him happy, is by keeping quiet, not talking to him unless spoken to and just keeping all my problems inside rather than trying to fix them with him. We agreed earlier to only ever talk when we see each other.
And he always asks for a "Normal relationship", and he always asks "Why can't we have a normal relationship". I would say back "theres no such thing as a normal relationship, everyone is different" but I never do because I just worry he'll get mad at me.
He also gives in minimal effort to try and make me feel better, like ever.

I know what some people must be thinking is "Just break up with him". But in my state of mind, and the way I feel about him, it would be near impossible to ever tell him I could no longer be with him, I've devoted myself to him, and he is now "my life" ( I know it's corny, but its a choice and sacrifice I have made). I just get worried that I have to sacrifice so much, including my happiness, to keep him happy, and he won't even sacrifice some exp on a video game for me. It's worrying and I just want some advice to know how I can get through this.

[smackie9]

Darling you are so young and foolish. Devoting yourself selflessly to someone who doesn't, is not a relationship. I've been in your shoes. I dated older guys, yes they have more freedoms and our restrictions makes them frustrated. That's what he means by "normal". He wants you to be able to stay out late, stay over, etc. Since your hands are tied, this relationship sadly will not turn around. He was devoted to you because the relationship was new, he was infatuated with you and would do anything for you, but that wears of in every relationship. It's called the "Honeymoon Stage". It lasts anywhere from 6 months to a year and a half. Once that ends, you see what you are left with. All those little things that were over looked now become a hindrance, a problem, an issue.

Being so young, you only think with your heart and not your head. In an adult's view of things, relationships are not forever...there is not such thing as "forever". Relationship will come and go, this one will end, and so will the next and so on. That's the reality. I know that isn't going to make things better but it's the way life is.

Maybe just letting him go is your only solution, then maybe he will miss you and come back and work things out.....it will give him time to think what he really wants. If you fear you will lose him this way, well you are going to lose him anyways if he doesn't want to continue the relationship. You can't force some one to want you, you can't make them want you with gifts, but you can by giving them their freedom.