Last date of 2010

[sookie6]

I don't know if I mentioned this before but I had a date yesterday...the last one of 2010 and probably the last one for a long time (at least from a dating website).

As a few people suggested I'm gonna let it flow from now on and if love must happen it will have to find me and not the other way 'round.

My last date yesterday finished off what was left of my faith in finding the one.

He was 45, a good looking 45 year old...not married but lived for 10 years with a woman he has 2 children with. they are now separated.

Kevin was intelligent, attractive and we talked about many things...there was a big downside though...from what I understood his physical relationship with his the mother of his children was very poor (apparently sex hurt her literally) so they never had a fulfilling relationship on that level...he just accepted it and of course over time they drifted away.

Since their split he has been invoved with a divorced mother of 3 children..and they got on so well sexually that it was a revelation to him...he was very happy...

Apparently (I keep saying apparently because I always take people's recount of their past love life with a pinch of salt) they split up because she coud not invest in a future with him due to her responsibilities as a mother it was just too much for her)..

So this is his background. Now during our conversation, he kept coming back to that one subject 'sex' and my view on it and whether I liked it...I mean he sugar-coated it but it was pretty much his point: to determine my level of interest in 'it', my past as a lover and blablabla...

So really I can see where he was coming from...I mean I've read enough of posts on here written by married guys deprived of sex by their wife for years...and I can measure how unhappy they are and how low it makes them feel...I can imagine how this could become a major criteria when they date again but....

For me it was a huge turn off to be quizzed on it on a first night....am I a prude? and what do you think?

[doppelgaenger]

hey, your post just gave me a really good idea, i thought i'd share it - i think i'll tell lydia on new years eve and say i'm glad i ended 2010 together with her because it gives me something to look forward to in 2011.

but anyway, i know you've had a sucky year for dating. just thought i'd comfort you with the realization that you're not the only one. i had more than my fair share of sucky dates this year, after having a completely failed relationship that ended in flames.

[sookie6]

I know you had it crap this year too......so kudos for your persistence in meeting new people and thanks for your kind comments to me...

[doppelgaenger]

thanks. sometimes you just wanna give up and say "fugk the cause" throw away all the virtues and go live on a mountain all by yourself because human beings are pretty depressing creatures. i don't know where the persistence comes from - whether it's from being accustomed to the shitty outcome of events or a bastion of undead hope in the hole where a heart should be. this thing with 'lydia' was very unexpected. i thought i was going schizo last friday at a party when she was flirting with me. who knows how it will end up though. i am pessimistic and people have said some pretty bad things about her, but she's contradicted all the gossip so far in the few nights we've spent together.

[sookie6]

who knows how it will end up though. i am pessimistic and people have said some pretty bad things about her, but she's contradicted all the gossip so far in the few nights we've spent together.

Oh no...don't listen to people's opinion...you need to make your own opinion about her...but I'm sure you know that already...have a good time this Xmas..

[Boisdevie]

I don't think it's a good idea to quiz people too much on a first, second or third date. If people want to reveal stuff about themselves let them, and vice versa. I love sex as much as anyone but talking about it on a first date would be a real turnoff