I need some perspective,am i completely wrong?

[budwider]

Ok,here goes.I am in a long distance relationship with my fiance,we have always shared passwords online,i don't check hers all the time,maybe once a month.I know that is completely wrong of me to do so and i know that it is bad.But yesterday when i get home from work,for some reason i get a gut feeling about my fiances facebook page,so i tried to log in,the password had changed.So i reset it with her email,i know that was wrong too.When i opened the account i saw that she had sent a message to the boyfriend she had before she met me(they broke up because he didnt make time for her) hes an army guy and is away for the rest of the year,in her message she sent her well wishes and told him to keep safe.She is a single mother,living with her own mother,no friends to speak of really.I got furious when i saw this message,i went to work and before i did i chatted with her on skype and made it seem like i was fine.After a while in work i couldn't control my feelings anymore,i called her and asked her about it,she said it was totally innocent and she was only talking to him to see if he was doing ok and that she was in need of a friend and that she changed the passwords because she didnt want me in her stuff.I was livid with her and i honestly gave her hell,i said things like "**** you,were finished" and "enjoy waking up some morning in a trailor park".she became hysterical after i hung up and drove home,her mother was there and was not happy about it,my fiancee was so upset everything came out,the mother is pissed with me.After i called later on in the night,she was at the point of ending our relationship,i begged for another chance to make it right,so she said fine,as long as i talked to my sister about the whole thing and called her mom to apologize.

I have no probs doing that,but any thoughts on the situation would be really appreciated.

thank you so much.

[xxazurexx]

WOW, what a great relationship you two seem to have going, in that you felt a need and from the very start and to have each others passwords and to be *checking up* on each other and to ensure you can trust each other. Is there any particular reason why you couldn't just trust each other and without feeling this need to have access too and go prying in each others accounts?

If I felt a need to have a password and pry on a partner, I wouldn't be with that person.

[budwider]

WOW, what a great relationship you two seem to have going, in that you felt a need and from the very start and to have each others passwords and to be *checking up* on each other and to ensure you can trust each other. Is there any particular reason why you couldn't just trust each other and without feeling this need to have access too and go prying in each others accounts?

If I felt a need to have a password and pry on a partner, I wouldn't be with that person.

I can see i have made a mess of things,how do i fix the damage i have done?

[vashti]

Apologize, and quit snooping. If you don't trust her, then just break up with her.

Honestly, I think I would be more angry about the demeaning way you spoke to her than the snooping, though. It indicates that you don't fight "fair", and that's a harder thing to fix.

[relationship01]

Most of the times we see in others what we really have in ourselves. So... the fact you did not trust her maybe an indication you are seeing yourself as not being trust worthy.

My advice to you would be to look inside and figure out why is it that you have that miss-trust. You can even talk to her about it and share how you feel. Being open and true is a great way to build trust.

[angel2002]

I understand you and i understand her. I know that crazy will of seeing the loved one email and things like that to see if they are liars but you should control yourself.
Privacy is important and so is trust. In a long distance relationship all we have is trust. Then if its over theres nothing left.
I believe she could have written her ex innocently, I did it too and its innocently, i dont have any feelings towards my ex, never had, i just wanted to know if everything was fine with him and his family.
Yes she could have told you the truth.
Do never curse her ever again. woman dont like to be cursed. there are 1000 different ways to get someone attention but cursing. This is only make things worse. Plus its wrong her mom is pissed, she shouldnt involve parents or anyone else in your relationship. its you and her, nobody needs to know your problems.
Apologize to her, tell how you felt at the moment, and for more pissed you might be do not curse anymore. you have to trust her and if you dont, life will be a hell.
If you love her, give her credit. A woman doesnt like to be treated like shit when she is telling the truth
Good luck

[Mish]

I got furious when i saw this message,i went to work and before i did i chatted with her on skype and made it seem like i was fine.After a while in work i couldn't control my feelings anymore,i called her and asked her about it,she said it was totally innocent and she was only talking to him to see if he was doing ok and that she was in need of a friend and that she changed the passwords because she didnt want me in her stuff.I was livid with her and i honestly gave her hell,i said things like "**** you,were finished" and "enjoy waking up some morning in a trailor park".

I think that was an insane over reaction over something really miniscule. If I was in her shoes I'd be seriously questioning how you will respond to other every day situations in the future and whether you are stable enough to be with. I sincerely hope this was a one off outburst and not part of a pattern. To make ammends I recommend to not just apologize, but also explain yourself (maybe you felt sick and weren't yourself at the time) and promise not to do something as outrageous as that in the future. Do something nice for her and her mother.