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Thread: Is there any hope for reconciliation?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    5

    Is there any hope for reconciliation?

    Okay guys, I'll try to make this as short as possible. I'm 45 years old and just got out of a 25 year relationship so I have ZERO experience with dating. I dated a man for about 4 months (amazing chemistry). He kind of held me at arms length in the beginning, then he lost his job and we became very close for 6 or 7 weeks while he was working a contract position. We started planning on introducing each other to our respective friends, daily contact etc... Then all of a sudden I start to get the cold shoulde -- back to being at arms length, only I fell in love with him (I just didn't really realize it was love.) So I sent him an email saying I want to be with someone who looks forward to seeing me, the way I look forward to seeing him and I don't think I want to see him anymore. He comes over and tells me 'if you want me to say I'm in love and want a relationship I cant' but I have stopped seeing other woman. I was happy with this because I didn't need him to say he loved me, he was very good at showing me. I should also mention, I can tell by his lifestyle that he is not comfortable with risk -- his possessions amount to a surfboard and a car... Okay with me, I'm not materialistic. Anyway, all was well until a week or so later. He spent the night at my house and I had to be somewhere in the morning so I left him there. When I came home he was gone and I was disappointed and felt rejected. He texted and said don't be mad, I -- in anger and pain -- said 'I want to take a break from you. I'm not even surprised you left... etc'. He had just completed his contract position and had been out of work for only 2 weeks. After this I realized he cleaned/organized my refridgerator.

    My instinct is he loved me, he was already vulerable and scared because he lost his job, he was also nervous about heading down the 'relationship' road, then I go and dump him because he felt the need to find a little space. Basically, we tried but circumstances (and distance, he did contract work on the east coast for several months) didn't let it. We did have stupid IM's and Texts which put us in the position of ending it in a less than good way (not horrible) but definitely not positive. Do you think there's anyway he'll ever call me again after the dust settles and life starts to get balanced? I've apologized profusely, and I've told him if he ever does call we can do clean slate -- no need to talk everything to death... What do ya think?

    Thanks guys...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    555
    I get the general sense this man wasn't that into you. He liked you but he wasn't in love. This relationship is pretty much over for him. I don't think he'll call. The more you press for it the further he'll go. So just forget about him and find another man who will fall in love with you. I know you have been away from the dating scene a long time. And dating is going to be a lot of mismatches before you find the right one.

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