Did No Contact hurt my chances at reconciliation?

[Juls7777]

Hi All,

I am guessing my problem will sound very similar to the others too, but nevertheless, perhaps all of you can help me out still.

My boyfriend and I have been having really petty arguments for the past 2 months. We've been together for 6 months, known each other for ages (we use to date before he got married. long story). We also face some bigger issues, about him already having a child, is causing quite a 'hoo-haa' with my family. He recently went through a divorce, (wasnt caused by me) and has a little boy (with whom i get along splendidly). He was also recently 'diagnosed' with having some mental disturbance, due to stress etc (but from what i know 1 mth ago, he refuse treatment saying he's ok).

But around 1 month ago, he started acting really strangely, acting really cold towards me. When asked, what's wrong he said nothing. I have never been the pushy kind, but when that happened, i actually did some 'text message terrorism' on him. When he finally called me, he still insisted nothing was wrong and that he was busy with work (he works in shifts). However, after much prodding, he said 'perhaps we can lay low for a bit, i'm not sure what i want'. I told him i didnt understand the whole deal of 'laying low' so i suggested that we take a 2 months cooling off period to work on things since we both are unsure of what we want at this point, which he agreed.

2.5 weeks into No Contact, he forwarded me a random text, abt finding happiness, love etc at 3.30am, which i ignored. I really wanted to take this time to work on our issues, to make the relationship stronger. We did agree on 2 months anyway. It made me feel that he missed me when he sent me that text.

However, just yesterday, i was bored at work (i know no excuse) so i went and view his Tagged account. He was never active with all this social networking site, but apparently he did an overhaul on his page just 2 days ago, new photos etc. And his status is : SINGLE. Interested in: Dating, Serious Relationship. Ok i did panicked for a bit. So, i dropped him a text after 1 week of receiving his saying, i saw his text that day, but i forgot about it as i was busy with my exams (which was the truth) and how is he doing. I have not gotten any reply since. I know he saw the message but ignored it.

I still love him, that's why i really wanted us to understand our own demons first before we work on the relationship. After seeing his SINGLE status and him not replying to my text...i feel that he has already moved on...

I don't know what i should do as i fear if i do the wrong thing, it will push him further away. But if i don't do anything, he will just move on.

Advise please. Thanks.

[xxazurexx]

Laying low, is the same as asking for space. I think that once they start asking for space, it often spells the beginning of the end.

You are taking no contact time to sort out your inner issues - he is off adding new pics to his Tagged profile and states he\s single.

Sorry hon, but it doesn't look good. I would dare even go as far to say, that he perhaps has a new love interest.is interested in someone else and that is why he suddenly started to act all distant, cold, unsure of your relationship, etc. I've been in your situation and with a guy who all of a sudden was distant, cold, in his own world, stopped eating, etc and he put it all down to pressure at work. Truth was, it was really his guilt over the fact there was another woman in the picture.

BUT, I could be wrong.

You mention that if you don't do anything, he will move on. If he really loved you/loves you, the last thing he will do is to move on. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and if he still has feelings. If he still has feelings, the time away could serve to make him miss you and realise what he is losing. He isn't gonna realise what he is losing overnight - it may take some time. But he has to have the opportunity to miss you and realise what he's losing and that is why you stay away from him.

You have already contacted, you know he saw your text, he didn't respond and so the ball is now in his court.

He will be back and if he cares that is for sure. If he doesn't come back, then he didn't care and you saved yourself looking a mug chasing after him.