made a mistake

[sexpat]

Hi all, im new to this forum...

I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 years now and I really love her alot. im 22 and she is 24. I have only slept with 4 girls and she has slept with quite a few guys.
Recently I relocated to a new country for a job, and she should hopefully be joining me soon.

Last night I went out with some colleagues to a club and everyone got really drunk, anyway this one colleague's sister was really coming onto me, the colleague wasnt there but I met her sister last week. And she just started making out with me on the dance floor, and then took me back to her apartment, her sister (my colleague) was there, but left.

Then she took me to her room and really wanted to go at it, the whole time i was telling myself "just tell her you want to go, you dont want to be here, you love your girlfriend, you arent even horny" but I went with it, i dont know why. We started having sex but then I stopped, I kept telling her that I feel bad because of her sister. THen I told her that I want to leave, and she said why and i said because of her sister, then I told her that I actually have a girlfriend, and she still insisted I stay over. But I apologised and left.


I feel really bad but at the same time its really taught me how much I love my girlfriend and I could really spend my entire life with her.

I honestly dont see myself finding as much happiness as I find with my girlfriend. But i really feel bad about what happened last night, plus, it might be akward when I see my colleague again.

any advice

[qwertz]

learn how to say no.

[sexpat]

Really constructive, thanks.

Thing is that cos im under experienced i feel i need to "get my numbers up" however I dont feel that way anymore because I now I have realised how much i love my girlfriend

[Spring Haze]

And in order for such a realization to be had, it was necessary to partake in drunken sex.

You probably just realized how much tighter your girlfriend's vagina is.

[sexpat]

And in order for such a realization to be had, it was necessary to partake in drunken sex.

Are you agreeing or saying that it doesnt make sense?

You probably just realized how much tighter your girlfriend's vagina is.

Well we didnt really have much sex, i pulled out and then fingered her a little, but the whole time i was thinking about how much i was hating the situation.
Hell I wasnt even hard...

[Spring Haze]

Are you agreeing or saying that it doesnt make sense?

It doesn't make sense that after cheating on your girlfriend you suddenly had an epiphany as to how much you really love her.

[qwertz]

you just feel guilty, and so you should.

[sexpat]

yea i do... but I guess the realisation has proved to me that I dont need to "get my numbers up" if you know what I mean.

I can be with my girlfriend my whole life and I wont have any regrets

[sexpat]

It doesn't make sense that after cheating on your girlfriend you suddenly had an epiphany as to how much you really love her.

why doesnt this make sense? by being with some other girl I realised that sex is just sex and when it is not with someone you love, its not the same, not worth it.

Life lesson learned

[Spring Haze]

why doesnt this make sense? by being with some other girl I realised that sex is just sex and when it is not with someone you love, its not the same, not worth it.

Because if you truly loved and cared about your girlfriend, you wouldn't have given in to temptation in the first place.

[sexpat]

im sorry but my instinct tells me to have as much sex as possible, but my heart tells me otherwise.

i hate myself right now but im young and making mistakes, therefore learning from them.

[alanaxo27]

I think you should just tell your girlfriend about it, explain how you feel.. how you'll never do it again and how it made you realize a lot.. etc etc. and just take it from there.. she may or may not forgive you, but you HAVE to tell her in order to forgive yourself.. if she forgives you, then great! you can move past it and it can just be a stupid mistake you never should have done. Just take it as a lesson learned.

[sexpat]

ok I think I will. She has kinda said that I can do that, but I think every girlfriend says that, and acts cool about it but when it happens then it is a different story.

she is still in another country but hopefully joining me soon, I guess il tell her when she is with me because she already has alot to stress about, i dont want her to have this to think about as well.

I doubt she wont forgive me about it, she is really really open minded. I just think she will be hurt, but at the same time I will explain how i guess it happened for a reason to show me that I can spend my entire life devoted only to her.

She is aware about my low numbers of shags issue, and I guess she may have seen it coming, i dont know. I did tell the girl that i cannot carry on because I have a girlfriend and I feel really stupid about it.

[qwertz]

if you do truly love her, and it was one mistake, then what is the point in telling her? that will do nothing but maybe ease your guilty conscience, it wont be of any benefit to her.

[sexpat]

i guess I see your point of view as well qwerty123. It will just make me feel "better" about it and her feel totally crap. is it really worth hurting her by telling her?


now im undecided whether I should tell her or not