Broken relationship / Rant

[tmc92ic]

I was going to ask for advice from you guys here. So I tried to form it in to a question; however, I couldn't. To tell you the truth I don't know what's wrong but I do know that I'm not okay. So I tried to explain my situation without writing out a 10 page letter and came up with the below.


Boy meets girl.
Boy likes likes girl.
A lot of months pass since boy met girl.
Girl meets other boy while with boy.
Boy finds out girl has been messing around.
Boy leaves.
Boy completely ignores girl and cuts her off.
Girl is sad and keeps trying to get back with boy.
Boy stays strong for 2-3 months.
Boy has a moment of weakness and sees girl again.
For only one night.
One night of just cuddling.

Boy is now back with girl.
Love is stronger than ever.
It lasts about 2 months.
Girl leaves boy.
Girl now hates boy.
Girl wants nothing to do with boy for almost no reason.
Girl goes out with new boy the next day.
Boy never stopped loving girl, ever.
Boy realizes that girl hadn't changed.
Girl did the same thing again.

But this time it's different.
Girl is no longer sad.
Girl doesn't want anything to do with boy.
Girl doesn't feel guilty anymore.
Girl has cleared her conscious.

Boy regrets ever going back.
Boy once again want's nothing to do with girl.
Boy knows to stay away.
Boy is away from girl for 10 weeks.

Boy still thinks about girl almost daily.
Boy checks what girl is doing online.
It hurts the boy, but he does it anyway.
Boy want's to stop but he can't.
Boy is hooked to it like a drug.
A thirst for knowledge.
No will power to block girl.
No will power to let it go.
Boy knows it's bad but does it anyway.

Boy hates girl.
Boy knows to stay away.
Boy wants to forget her.
But boy can not.
It is almost as if boy...
Deep, deep, in back of head...
Want's to get back with girl one day.
But boy does not want this.
Boy just wants to forget.
Boy want's to hate girl...
But can not.

Problem now is that even after writing all that out. I still don't know what the problem is. I guess I just needed to let that all out. Or maybe I am looking for a way to move on, knowing I can't. But I already know what everyone will say on that subject and it really doesn't help.

I guess that at least who ever read this learned the moral of the story. Don't ever go back into a broken relationship, ever.

[magguu]

Yes you are right ... I don't know how did I learn this lesson but since my early teenage (before I even had talked to a girl) I was always clear on this. I would never rekindle *any* relationship coz the old issues are bound to come back. I do not even try to salvage a broken friendship between me and my guy friend. And I have always stuck with that.

when my ex tried to make up with me, i did interact with her but gave her no room to enter my life again. i know that she hasn't forgotten me but got the message. i am clear that i may stay single (which i am currently) for the rest of my life but will never go back to her.

explanation of *any* -

the only people worth making up (i mean after a real separation/fight/issue) are your blood relatives. I know that I will make up infinite number of times with my siblings and cousins however bad the situation may get. and sometimes they have gotten a little bad, not very nasty ... and I had no qualms, shame or pride in going back to them again. and they too always feel the same about me. it is due to one thing ... i may not see my cousins/sibling for years, but their loss will be absolutely unbearable to me ... this relation is etched in my blood and only my death can erase it.

the same thing is not true for friends/love/GF/BF/wife/hubby/etc .. these relationships are just not cut from the same cloth.