Pregnancy scare ruins relationship?

[Ice9]

I recently just got dumped by my girlfriend of 4 years. Here is the story:

We had a pregnancy scare a little over a month ago. She was late on her period and we both were really scared as she is only 20 and in college and I am 22, about to graduate but do not have a job locked down yet. Anyways, she is about 5 days late on her period and we started having talks about "what if" and what not. This is where I told her: "I don't think you should have it". She didn't really react strongly to this and we went on. During the scare, I thought about our situation every night. I sort of had a change of view on the thing and knew I would support her 100% whatever she wanted to do. I was all about to tell her this if she was late on her next period. About 2 weeks later she starts her period and we are both relieved. However now she is very distant. We have had very little sexual contact due to our schedules and what not. She eventually tells me that she hasn't wanted to be physical with me because what I told her always comes into her mind and acts as a turn off. This is the first time I tell her I really spoke before I thought about things and she believes me even though I am sure it sounded like an act of desperation to save our sex life. Anyways, she said she can't see herself getting over this so she ended things with me.

I am truly in love with this girl and would love to be with her. I really thought we were going to be together forever, but it amazes me how something like this can turn things sour real fast. I guess my question is: Do you think this relationship is a lost cause? If not, what would you suggest inn getting her back? I know it will take some time and space since we have been together for a long time, is there anything else I can do to help my cause?

[doppelgaenger]

That's not much of an issue. A combination of her sensitivity and the ingredients of her immaturity can make a nasty concoction that she is going to force you to slowly drink over time. She will eventually forgive you for saying that, even though she overreacted, but she will never forget it. She will likely bring that up if you have an argument with her. That doesn't necessarily make a lost cause out of your relationship, but it will give you a lot of unnecessary tension.

Relax. She's probably just wants a sincere, pussywhipped (ha! how contradictory) apology from you. Don't give her that. Don't give her anything at all. When she comes to you and tries to get you back, that's when you should apologize and set things straight. Right now, enjoy your vacation from her.

[lhn]

If you have already told her that you would stick with her no matter what her choice would have been then leave it.
Don't keep reminding her and don't contact her.

I think you guys will probably be back on track within a month but don't pester her. You will end up turning it into something it's not and blowing everything out of proportion.

Take a deep breath and swallow your hurt for the time being. Tough but I think thats the best advice.

[Primo]

You two were both irresponsible. When the gun got pointed at you, you blinked. Doesn't sound like anything that can't be talked out though.

[Gigabitch]

During the scare, I thought about our situation every night. I sort of had a change of view on the thing and knew I would support her 100% whatever she wanted to do. I was all about to tell her this if she was late on her next period.

This was a huge ****ing mistake. You should have told her immediately, and every day thereafter. Instead, you let her bring it up, so what you say now seems like bullshit.

It's possible she still loves you and is waiting for you to come out and say A LOT of things that need to be said. Keeping quiet right now is doom. You need to come forth with a wave of remorse about hurting her (which you totally did) by making her feel like this person she trusted, this person she was closer to than anyone in the world was not solid, did not have her back and couldn't be counted on.

The ONLY right answer in that circumstance is the "I will support you no matter what" answer. Give it to her. Give it to her a lot. Maybe she'll take you back.