I have just broken up with my girlfriend of over 3 years was it the right idea?

[rah068]

i recently finished with my girlfriend who i have been going out with for over 3 years. Towards the end of the relationship we would have massive arguments and she would get really upset. We had a huge argument on valentines day but decided we needed to make it work because we both really love eachother. The following weekend i went to her house and was looking at her phone and found some suspicious texts pretty much telling another guy all about our problems and then going on to flirt with this guy and even ask him to come round to hers. After seeing this i got my stuff and told her it was over and i couldnt trust her. Fair enough i was unfaithful at the start of the relationship and she forgave me but i was just so annoyed she would do this after so long i ended it. Now im worried if i have made the right decision, when i think about it most of the time we would argue and not have as much fun as we used to but now its over im really upset thinking about all the nice things we used to do and just the simple things i really love about her. Did i make the right decision or should i just give it sometime and talk to her and see how things go?

[Horseyguy]

Take some time out to decide what you really want.

If you only want to be with her because you miss the things that were good, when it was good, is that enough to get back together (Bearing in mind from what I can tell, it wasn't actually that good or fun towards the end anyway)

Totally normal to have regrets when you break up, probably isn't anyone on this forum that hasn't thought the same thing, but that doesn't mean you did the wrong thing.

You ended it because it was no longer working for you. What you found on her phone just gave you the out you wanted?. You need to think about that.

[cjk722]

Feel your pain here myself bro. Just got out of a 3 year relationship about a month ago - she actually put the 'nail' in the coffin so to speak via TEXT on the day of our 3 year anniversary. Strange thing was we never fought, she just felt some "void" between us; wondering if she got cold feet as we had begun to seriously discuss marriage, etc.

Hang in there - things will get easier as time passes. You've probably read the advice before here but it holds true: keep yourself busy, distract yourself essentially. If it's meant to be, you guys will work it out. Do your best, do whatever you think that you have to do if you feel she is "the one" so you can look back with no regrets. I'm about 4 weeks in right now and I am LIGHTYEARS better than I was initially after the breakup. Time, unfortunately, is the best medicine. Just do not drive yourself insane by watching your phone hoping for texts and or checking her Facebook. I myself am guilty of this, and *every little change* you'll think has something to do with you or is a message being sent to you (aka - every added friend, every added picture, every profile picture change... everything).

Improve *yourself* during this time. Reunite with friends, make new ones, work out like a crazy man. Improve yourself and when you ultimately feel better you'll either be back with her, or ready/more confident to meet your next mate.

[ashley89]

Feel your pain here myself bro. Just got out of a 3 year relationship about a month ago - she actually put the 'nail' in the coffin so to speak via TEXT on the day of our 3 year anniversary. Strange thing was we never fought, she just felt some "void" between us; wondering if she got cold feet as we had begun to seriously discuss marriage, etc.

Hang in there - things will get easier as time passes. You've probably read the advice before here but it holds true: keep yourself busy, distract yourself essentially. If it's meant to be, you guys will work it out. Do your best, do whatever you think that you have to do if you feel she is "the one" so you can look back with no regrets. I'm about 4 weeks in right now and I am LIGHTYEARS better than I was initially after the breakup. Time, unfortunately, is the best medicine. Just do not drive yourself insane by watching your phone hoping for texts and or checking her Facebook. I myself am guilty of this, and *every little change* you'll think has something to do with you or is a message being sent to you (aka - every added friend, every added picture, every profile picture change... everything).

Improve *yourself* during this time. Reunite with friends, make new ones, work out like a crazy man. Improve yourself and when you ultimately feel better you'll either be back with her, or ready/more confident to meet your next mate.

very very very good advice! I agree completely I'm going through a breakup now too and it sucks. but I'm doing alot better than I was a month ago when it first happened.

about the Facebook thing, seriously, hide her from your news feed! any time someone wrote on my ex's wall or he changed his picture, added friends, etc. it hurt me for some stupid reason... I don't wanna delete him off my Facebook permanently so I hid him from the feed so now whenever he does something, it won't show up. I also hid all of his friends so I wouldn't have to be reminded of him. and sure I know I can still just go on his page but I haven't been on much within the past couple weeks, why do I wanna go on there and see what he's up to? who cares?