Can repressed emotions escape in dreams?

[Sooky]

Well its been just a month since I was dumped and I haven’t seen my ex bf since the split. During most of the daytime it seems I’m recovering well. I mean I think about him on and off, but it doesn't seem to bother me any more, and I haven't sunk into depression or cried in the last 2 weeks. However, at night I have all these freaky nightmares, where my ex bf comes back to haunt me. (you're probably thinking that wouldn't be scary, but trust me if you knew my ex bf it would be!!)

Most of the dream plots seem to revolve around me going to visit him again for some bizarre reason. When I’m in these dreams they're so vivid and the emotions I feel seem so real. Then when I wake up I feel shaken and depressed about the whole situation again. Luckily I can repress these depressive feelings pretty easily though once I come round. I just turn on the TV and whack on a Simpsons DVD commentary. (If anyone’s feeling depressed or lonely by the way and you have the DVDs, Simpsons commentaries are a nice easy way to block out depression and give the illusion of a social situation. )

I know its stupid to be haunted by your dreams, but it makes me wonder whether I'm just suppressing a lot of my emotions and blocking them out. Was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this sort of thing, or is it just that I’m a complete weirdo? Do you think this is a good way to deal with this or do you think it'll come back to haunt me in the waking world too?

Just wish I could get over this thing already in both worlds and get back to the nightmares I used to get about T-rex and velocoraptors. I felt so much safer in those dreams.

(PS- Sorry if I posted this in the wrong section. I wasn't really sure where to put it at the time, but looking back on it it may have been better in the break-up section, so I appologise if this annoys the hell out of anyone. It honestly wasn't my intension. Think maybe I'm just not really awake yet.)

[whitedragon20na]

Well I can say that you're definately not alone in this.

Ever since my ex and I split up I've had dreams about her, and that was a year and a half ago.

It's weird though, in the early stages I had dreams where I was visiting her, or she was visiting me and we'd always end up having to go back home and leave the other behind. I had this one where I went upstairs in the bathroom and she was there doing her make-up and her hair and I turned to her and told her I didn't want to leave, and then I held her and she cried on my shoulder. Upon waking up, everything felt so real, and the emotions were there when I did, and I was sad.
I had another one later one where her and I were shopping and I was holding her hand, had my arm around her, the usual couple things to do. Again when I woke up everything felt like it had really happened and I was once again sad about it.

Lately those dreams are few and far between. I had one not too long ago where we were on a ski trip and her and I went into this clothing store, snuck into the dressing rooms and had sex. We were driving around in Aspen, at least that's where I think we were, and it was more of the same from the other dreams.

The worst part about these dreams is that they are wonderful dreams, but they leave me in a aweful funk for the entire day because I'm depressed and miss the companionship. I don't know weither to call them dreams or nightmares because the dream itself is wonderful, but then I wake up feeling horrible.

Okay, so now after going on about myself, I have to say that it's not supressing your emotions, it's just, IMO, missing that someone and it's how your mind makes up for them being gone, by putting them in your dreams so you can slowly be weined of them.

Of course I could be totally wrong, lol.

[elNatural]

I also had dreams about my first love after we broke up. But I havnt had one since Ive become comfortable with being single. I actually just had a dream last night that I met a girl at this resturant while I was there with friends, and we fell in love instantly and I was happier at that moment then I had ever been with any other girl, but then my dream kinda switched to a different setting but I hadnt gotten her name or number or anything so I couldnt find her. So maybe after the stage of dreaming about your past love, you start dreaming about future ones? lol.

The only thing that worries me about your post is that you 'repress' the depression and sadness you feel. Just make sure that you face why you are depressed and sad so you can overcome that and realize you would rather be happier and can. Because until you get over your past bf I think you will keep having these dreams.

[Mathias]

Yeah, I still have dreams like that too.

Actually, they've been evolving into me dreaming about my high school girlfriend a little more often than my most recent ex.

Weird.

[elNatural]

Sounds like you're dreaming about what you want right now
A dream girl, literally...and you'll be happier with her than with anyone before..
And then..you can't find her..sounds like you're afraid you might never be able to find your dream girl..or you're afraid that she doesn't exist?..or maybe..you're afraid that she's just there, around, but you're not able to see that she's the one?

Well, only you know what it means

I see it as reinforcement that I can be happier than I was before, making it that much easier to move on. But I did say something wrong to her in the dream and it made her very sad but I wasnt trying to make her sad, so maybe I am afraid that I wont be able to express my feelings correctly when I do find that girl, and that I wont remember to get her name lol. It was somewhat an emotional version of a 'wet dream' haha.

[elm0]

My ex and I broke up almost 3 years now and periodically I still have dreams about her.

I suppose the only thing that does help is time, cuz over the 3 years, I've grown to be immune to the pain she's caused and it's pretty good to be single again.

[Sooky]

Firstly thanks for all the posts guys is good to know I'm not ususual (well not because of this anyway).

The only thing that worries me about your post is that you 'repress' the depression and sadness you feel. Just make sure that you face why you are depressed and sad so you can overcome that and realize you would rather be happier and can. Because until you get over your past bf I think you will keep having these dreams.

I am worried that I might be repressing a lot of things, as every time I start getting depressed I just find something to distract me (usually TV) and try to blot it all out. I just can't stand the depression, and it drives me insane if I start thinking about it all again, so I try to avoid it best I can. But you think this is the wrong approach? What would you suggest is a better way to deal with it?

[elNatural]

I am worried that I might be repressing a lot of things, as every time I start getting depressed I just find something to distract me (usually TV) and try to blot it all out. I just can't stand the depression, and it drives me insane if I start thinking about it all again, so I try to avoid it best I can. But you think this is the wrong approach? What would you suggest is a better way to deal with it?

I know that is the WRONG approach. Every person I know that has long term problems with their first love or previous relationships never faced their depression and sadness. You have to embrace the depression and sadness. It will come in waves and you need to feel it. You are human, if you didnt become sad after something happy ends then I would be worried about you. We deal with emotional pain by sadness and depression, so when you feel it even though it seems you arnt getting any better you really are. The quicker you embrace why you feel sad and how you can become better, the quicker you wont feel that sadness anymore.

The next time you start getting depressed let it hit you, cry it out, get that shit out of your system so it wont turn into something that breeds into other emotional problems. Its like when you drink too much, you can either barf it out and feel better, or you can keep it in and feel like shit, maybe you think you are stronger for keeping it in, but really you would be better at letting it all out. Its going to be much harder to deal with the pain now, but it would be even harder for you later on in every other relationship you have if you never deal with the pain.

Im sure you will have times when you feel that it will never get any better, but you must realize that it will. It has to. You are human, you will recover from this and learn, which will in turn make all your future relationships even better. Its hard to believe that something good can come from this pain but its true. The only bad that can come is from not facing the pain and letting it effect the you the rest of your life. Take a step back, realize you can be happier, and then face the pain knowing that you are dealing with it and that it is ok for you to feel sad and that you will feel better once you get it out of your system.