do guys really have a problem with this?

[Perla]

call me old fashion, but i dont generally call men. i am always called out on this by the guys i date, but they eventually get over it...i recently met someone through mutual friends...texts for a couple days, one phone call during which he asked when he could take me out, then the next day a text informing me that he had changed his number and to save this new one....then...nothing, no more texts, no phone calls...Besides the OBVIOUS he's just not interested explanation, could he possibly be expecting me to call? does this really matter to men? obviously it matters to me, but i just always felt it was different for women...

[Mish]

Well, what did you say to him when he asked you when he could take you out?

[Perla]

i told him the next time he had a weekend off we'll do something...he's a cop so he has a crazy schedule

[Illusional]

umm... if you don't call people, what would give them a reason to think that you're interested in them?? it shows a lack of interest on your part.

raverboy

[someguy1984]

Very lack of interest in your part. If i was him, i would think you were not interested and continue to play the field. Text him "Good morning " when you wake up. Little things like that will make him think your interested and he should pursue a lot more.

[Mish]

i told him the next time he had a weekend off we'll do something...he's a cop so he has a crazy schedule

What did he say to that? Did he say he will contact you again or was there an expectation that you will contact him? Sometimes these issues are just a result of miscommunication.

[Sixpacj]

IDK, to m the whole "I don't call, let him call me" thing screams insecurity to me.. And whenever a woman does this with me I lose interest. It signals low self-esteem, as if you thought that if you call him, he will think "you're easy", "you like him", or some other bullshit. Men will sense this from you, and contrary to pop culture literature (The Rules), it doesn't work well in the field.

To let you understand better, would you not call back your best friend? Would it not be stupid and immature to wait for her to always call back?

And why is this different? Maybe cause there is nothing to "lose or gain", there is no manipulation involved, just an exchange of good vibes?

[Reath]

You can try miss calling him and see if he will text or call you back.

He became RoboCop

[miSSleepy]

Just call the man... ffs, why not? No games, no tricks, just show some initiative and call him. If I was a man dating a woman who never called or anything I'd find it very draining and tiring very fast.

[Perla]

Sixpacj - insecurity is not the issue, and by no means im i saying i dont have insecurities, but this has far more to do with how i was raised....right, wrong, or indifferent, its just something that was instilled me. if i like the guy, why wouldnt i want him to know it? i just have never felt a phonecall proved that to a man...if i like you, i will almost always be available to you...clearly these are double standards. i get that.

[chump4u]

"I met her, and she seemed nice; I text-messaged her and she replied; I called her and she said 'sure, we can do something together;' and I took extra care to give her my new phone number. Now all I can do is wait for her to call me. If I do any more without [U]some[U]kind of response from her, she's going to think I'm pushy and needy and all that."

Did you [U]tell[U] him that you won't call a man on the phone-- even a man you've already met and talked to? If not, how's he supposed to know?

No, he's probably not "expecting" a call from you, but I'll bet he's [U]hoping[U] for one.

[chump4u]

"I met her, and she seemed nice; I text-messaged her and she replied; I called her and she said 'sure, we can do something together;' and I took extra care to give her my new phone number. Now all I can do is wait for her to call me. If I do any more without some kind of response from her, she's going to think I'm pushy and needy and all that."

Did you tell him that you won't call a man on the phone-- not even a man you've already met and talked to? If not, how's he supposed to know?

No, he's probably not "expecting" a call from you, but I'll bet he's hoping for one.

[Graham Berkeley]

Phone calls, like anything else in a romance, is a 50/50 thing. If you don't call him don't expect for him to keep calling you.

[Sixpacj]

"he just didn't really that into you" - ha, ha, ha...

The ultimate prevailing excuse for insecurity, passivity, low self-esteem. It's not you - you are perfect - it's him - he should be doing everything in how power to be with you, after all you are soooo keeeewl, if he isn't, "he's not that into you...", or he is afraid of commitment, or he is afraid of ... whatever...

Hilarious BS...

[ShyGuy81]

"I met her, and she seemed nice; I text-messaged her and she replied; I called her and she said 'sure, we can do something together;' and I took extra care to give her my new phone number. Now all I can do is wait for her to call me. If I do any more without some kind of response from her, she's going to think I'm pushy and needy and all that."

I agree with this, if I was the guy I would be pretty much thinking the above.

I can see why you might have waited for him to call you when he got a weekend off but if you haven't been in touch then he may just think that you are not bothered.

Equally if I was always contacting somebody and never got anything back, even if it is just a quick "Hi, how are you doing?" then I would think that she was not that interested.

Lee