I became too clingy in a relationship and pissed this girl off... How now?

[Quentin]

Really need your help here again guys. I'm 17 and I've been going after this girl who's 21. I've been really depressed as of late because I think I finally got on the nerves of this girl I know for 4 months.She used to call me everyday and if she didn't, I would call her.

We usually chatted for at least an hour a day or minimum of 3.5hr to 5hr a week on the phone, even though I see her once or twice a week.

Recently, she got a little sick so didnt call me for 2 whole days... I really felt like crying during that period but waited till the fourth day to visit her at her house. She was pretty ok by then and said that she'll resume calling me at night again. Night came but she sent me the same SMSes that said she was going to sleep and she would call me the next morning.

Morning came and she didnt call. I called for 5 times in a hour but she didnt pick up. This whole nonsense continued for another two days until finally, I did something real stupid.

I got drunk to get her attention. I thought showing up drunk in her house would show her the extent of the pain she had put me through and she would pity me and shower me with the same amount of love and attention she used to give me, so enthusiastically.

Thing is, she was not happy at all to see me and in fact, very pissed. She barked commands like "lie down here" and she had to shower me to get off the alcohol smell cos she knew I'd get in trouble with my parents. I expected her to be a little more caring and concerned and not so pissed but that was the kind of reception I got.

She then called me to check if I was home a hour after I left her house and once I said yes, she hanged up. Whats up with that?

So the next day, I called her many times to apologize but she didnt pick up so I sent her an sms asking for her forgiveness but didnt get one back. So I decided to go to her house again, thinking that showing up not-drunk would somehow lend me a certain degree of credence and redeem myself.

I saw her but she didnt smile at all. She didnt let me hold her hand or kiss her or even touch her at all. She was silent for like 10-15 mins plus and I really couldnt take it so I freaking cried like a kid. Someone told me girls cant stand it when guys cry but I didnt care or could hold it back any longer.

I think she softened up after that and churned out one-liners like "dont know", "nothing" and she asked me if I had a life. Soon, she asked me to go home and I asked her if she wanted to see me again. She said she would call me at night.

She did call me at night but she pretended nothing happened and tried to sound cheerful about everything. I asked if I could come over at to her house on new year's eve to spend time with her and she cheekily asked if I wanted to countdown with her. I said yes and she said ok.

So what does this mean? Did she really forgive me or something bad's gonna happen to me on new year's eve? If that's the case, i'd rather spend it with my family...

[funsounds]

you're an idiot...and you're way too clingy...

what now? dude...leave her the **** alone for a bit! i'm dead serious...i'd treat my best friend the same damn way...i'd be pissed as hell if he/she kept harrassing me on the phone when i'm clearly not picking up for whatever reason. and i'd be pissed beyond belief if the idiot showed up at my place drunk! then i'd probably do the same thing she did...make sure he/she's ok, get him/her home somehow, call to make sure they made it, and then hang up. then i'd probably continue ignoring them.

just chill...and do your own thing. trying to have ANY type of contact with her will just drive her away. when you called her the next day you should have left a QUICK and SHORT message apologizing. if you didn't, it's too late...dont' do it. just lay low. dont mess this up any more.

[Quentin]

I sometimes come across girls as a Sensitive New-Age Guy, this girl I'm with for 4 months thought it was rather sweet and cute at first but I have the feeling she finds it annoying now.

She works a 12-hr daily job while I have the whole day free to myself. I guess this is why I can demand so much attention while she doesnt think its necessary to give so much...

I know this is a bit of a role reversal here where the GUY in the relationship is the clingy sort but I cant help it. This is my first relationship and I wouldnt want to let go of it... I might start taking prozac everyday if we break up cos I know I WONT be able to handle a break-up... she's my only female friend

[funsounds]

she's my only female friend

then you really need to spread your wings a little...and meet new people...

[Quentin]

hey then should I spend new's years eve with her? She said it was ok...

[funsounds]

hey then should I spend new's years eve with her? She said it was ok...

have you talked to her since the drunken incident? if not...just wait for her to call. she'll call if she wants to be with you.

[Quentin]

Yes, I visited her again at her house the day after I got drunk and thats where I got the silent treatment and cried in front of her.She called me at night after that as promised but pretended nothing happened and I asked about new year's eve and she said ok... I'm thinking of calling her in 2 hours time cos she usually's up by then to confirm... or do you think i should just show up anyway without calling her since she already said yes?

[funsounds]

Yes, I visited her again at her house the day after I got drunk and thats where I got the silent treatment and cried in front of her.She called me at night after that as promised but pretended nothing happened and I asked about new year's eve and she said ok... I'm thinking of calling her in 2 hours time cos she usually's up by then to confirm... or do you think i should just show up anyway without calling her since she already said yes?

is she expecting you to just show up? did you alreadly set a time to meet and stuff? whatever...i don't think it matters...if she said she wants to hang with you for new years eve after your incident, then whatever...

but man...you gotta stop being like this...this is NOT healthy...just my humble opinion...

[Mystikal]

but man...you gotta stop being like this...this is NOT healthy...just my humble opinion...

No it isnt healthy...I mean I can see some clingyness but nothing to the degree that you are describing Quentin..I mean come on dude you have to know where to draw the line. There is a point to where it is cute and some girls may think it adorable or what have you...but you went way past that point, it sounds as if you went to the point of no return with this girl. If I were you I would just let her go...she isnt the only girl that is gonna walk into your life and if she is your only female friend so be it....spread your wings and meet new people...oh and just my opinion on this one but I would also try people a little bit more around your age if you are looking for a relationship partner or a new girl to meet. I am not saying there is anything wrong with relationships were there is a significant age gap...all I am saying is wait untill age gaps in relationships are more the norm....say mid to late 20's and beyond...I am sorry but I just dont know to many 21 year olds that would actually serisouly date a 17 year old....no offense

[Bigg Boss]

Dude that's terrible. Read your first post again. Can't you see your problem?

You felt like crying because she didn't call you for 2 days?

[Quentin]

but should I call her to confirm tonight?

[Carrie]

yeah Quentin, put the testostorne back into your body. Yes, it's ok to cry, but try keeping that to yourself. Give this relationship time. It's good to know she gave the "ok" for New Years, so don't ruin it.

[Lloyd95]

Man-Up.
"Sensitive New Age Guy?" WTF is that? You sound like an immature, insecure pansy. If I were her, I'd run from you. Pick a girl your own age, this one is way out of your league. You'll see what I mean in about 5 years.

[Quentin]

Bad news guys... dont really want to talk about what happened but I feel like crying all over again. The only thing stopping me right now from doing so is the frustration with the frequency of me crying myself to sleep and the hope based on the promise that she'll call me tomorrow.

I've just realized I've had a really really lonely heart all my life even till now and can't find anyone else to love me other than my blood-related family members. I really really would do anything to have a girl whom I love, love me back.

I feel like crying all the time... Its not pathetic anymore. Its getting worrying and depressing. The idea that I'm pouring all this out online upsets me(no offence) when I could have been having a good time with her.

I just wanted to be loved. Truly, no other reasons; not even sex or her money. What was so wrong with that?

[funsounds]

quentin,

there are people who would love you and accept your love. you gotta get out more and meet some people. there are guys and girls that would gladly be your friend...and the love between friends is often stronger and longer lasting than the love we try to cultivate in intimate relationships. so go seek out friendships.

as for intimate love...you know what, we've all been there. we all get the shit kicked out of us by someone we love...we have all felt at some point that no one loves us in any way. sad part is...for many people, this happens many times. it ain't gonna be easy...but time does heal...you'll pick yourself back up or maybe you'll meet someone that can help pick you up, a friend. and when you do perk up...get out there! live!

i want you to read my post on this page: [url]http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=11057&page=2[/url]

work on yourself! make some new years resolutions of self improvement!