Lost Girl Of My Dreams B/C I'm Needy And Dependent?

[Zoltar13]

I know that this forum has certainly heard this before, or at least the title. Anyway, I will get right down to it, and would appreciate any advice that I may get here.
I met this girl and we talked for a while on the internet, on messenger etc. We finally decided to meet and hangout, and for both of us, it was like an instantaneous attraction. I had never experienced anything like it in my life. I have dated quite a few women, and none of them affected me in this way. Anyway, everything moved pretty quickly, and she wanted to see me a lot, I loved seeing her, we kissed on the first date, all that kind of stuff. Well, she told me that she was starting to fall for me, and I just could not believe this, like I thought I was in a dream for a while. We were both very thrilled and excited to have met someone that made us feel this way. She said that she would smile all day because I was on her mind, etc. The things dreams are made of I guess. After a few weeks, I started to notice a change in her actions towards me. She did not seem nearly as excited to see me. Eventually, we split which totally killed me. I had never opened myself up to a woman like her. We had dated like a total of three weeks, kinda crazy I know. I had stayed at her place multiple nights, we had cuddled, watched movies, etc. It was amazing to be honest. No sex though, we both had said that we wanted to wait and make this work right. So when we split, she told me that I was too needy, dependent, insecure. Unfortunately, with some time to clear my head away from her, I have realized that she was totally right. My behavior was ridiculous. I had been texting her all the time saying I love you, I miss you, have a nice day, etc. I was worried that I was going to lose her all the time. One day when she had a bad day, I had a huge thing of bright pink roses sent to her as a surprise. I moved way to quickly and totally messed it up by just being so constant and intense about the whole thing. I mean I said I loved her after like a week. Ugh. Hindsite is sooo hard. I can't believe that I acted like that looking back, and I have never acted like that in my entire life. She is a very independent and busy person, and at the time, I guess I was the opposite. We have been talking since the split which was exactly a week ago. I have been having a much harder time with this than I have with any other woman. After some thinking about the best move, whether I should just give up or grind on, I talked to her about what was up with us. She basically said that there is no chance of us getting together right now, because the whole deal I did is so fresh and just happened, this I can understand. We are going to remain friends. I kind of eluded to wanting to give things another try and I acknowledged that my behavior was ridiculous. Basically she told me that right now its not going to work, like I can't get her back, and go back to normal I guess, but she also said that maybe later it could happen. She said that she cannot take my insecure feelings right now.. So my question is.. what do I do? Am I just peeing into the wind or is it worth me sticking things out and trying to get her back? I really feel like I should keep sticking to it, and seeing what might happen. I scared her off with my stupid obsessive behavior.. and I want to show her that I can function and be a normal person, it sounds bad, but that is the truth. I kind of want to start over and see what I can do this time. Hopefully that is possible. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank You!

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

You said it yourself:

" I scared her off with my stupid obsessive behavior.. "

She's already told you there's no turning back especially right now. Though I must say the flowers thing you did wasnt out of the way IMO, I actually thought that was sweet. BUT, dropping the I love you bomb is possibly what sent her off the most. Well, she straight up told you she doesnt see you guys getting back together, so what is there to pursue? Accept her friendship and continue on with your own life. We all do things we wish we hadnt done, but take this as a learning experience for future relationships. Slow down, and take your time with those three words because they shouldnt be thrown around unless you TRULY feel it.

[Zoltar13]

So the maybe later doesn't mean anything?

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

I wouldnt get my hopes too high if I were you. She probably said that to get you off her case and prevent hearing questions like "Why" and "What can I do.."...You know, that sort of stuff.

[Zoltar13]

I don't know. Usually I would except that.. however she is straight up brutally honest. If she didn't think there was any chance, she would tell me to forget it. I kinda got the feeling that she wants time to evaluate what she really wants.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Well, maybe she would give it a try in the future, I'm just saying I would not get my hopes too high. If you do want this girl and plan to stick around, just stick around as a friend, and dont pressure her into considering dating again. If she wants to do it again, she'll let you know.

[Yacker]

Basically she needs time to clear her feelings of how needy you were. You need to move on and live your own life and learn from that and stay in contact with her from time to time, you can't stay in contact right off the bat because you won't get over her that way. You need to develop your own life and show her you are going to live for yourself when those feelings she has now disappears then she can start building a new image of you. I'd say give it 6 months and try hanging out again but don't expect anything and just try to be fun and yourself and take it SLOW. You moved way too quickly with her.