Hello everyone,
My first post and I'm obviously confused hence why I sought out this forum.
I want to start by saying that I have a physical disability. I can walk around, but my balance is terrible. I have fatigue issues as well so I tend to focus my energies on school instead of getting caught up in too much socializing, etc. I've also gained a bit of weight which surely doesn't help me out as far as mobility and concealing my great looks (haha).
Just for some back story, which may sound like a complete joke but last fall I was browsing facebook and stumbled upon what I thought was a very neat girl who's also going to my school (University). So last December I decided to take a shot in the dark and send a message. We added each other as 'friends' and talked for a bit over the PM. Nothing like goo-goo-gaga, just casual talking. Somehow she asked me why I do something, and I accidentally stumbled into saying that I have a disability. After the holidays I suggested that we meet up sometime for coffee to which she agreed. I was pretty vague with the timing, leaving her the option to suggest when it fits her schedule. Sometimes I would send a message and would never hear back, not even a 'seen.' So I would wait and follow up, and she would get back almost right away. Almost like the message just dropped in her inbox rather than ignoring me. A couple months of that, midterms in the way, we finally met up on campus last week. She suggested the coffee shop, and I agreed as I didn't want to be fussy.
When meeting her, I let my embarrassment associated with my balance (the minutia of carrying hot coffee and finding a seat) get to me which compounded my nervousness with... simply just meeting her. Maybe I was afraid of falling into her but I didn't even shake her hand. Anyways, when we found a seat, we talked for an hour, touched the tips of the waves - school, hobbies, etc. There were a few awkward lulls here and there until she had to get to a meeting. When we got up to leave, we had to go back inside to throw away the cups. I went to open the door and couldn't do it, so I became red-face embarrassed and quiet, instead of just laughing it off like I should have. When we walked out, she said the typical 'It was nice to meet you, keep in touch.' I just sheepishly just said, 'Yeah.' I followed up with a quick facebook message, saying what I should have said and nothing too pushy, suggesting we 'hang out' again sometime. Again that hasn't been 'seen' yet.
Anyways, I figured a girl wouldn't agree to meeting if she wasn't interested. However, I fear she was just trying to be nice. After meeting her I've gone from thinking that she was simply a cool person to know legitimately to perhaps foolishly thinking she might be the greatest girl I'd ever know. She's sweet, dedicated, compassionate, creative and very cute. I'd love to take her out and show her a uniquely great time and a better more comfortable representation of me. I don't want to be a creep and appear needy, but on the other hand I'll regret it if I don't try.
Instead of searching for the tallest bridge, what might you all suggest I do? I'm considering waiting a couple months until after exams and trying a 'how's it going?' type follow up, in the mean time dropping a few pounds and buying a cane. Or I could just say how I feel. hmm
edit: Or maybe I should just wait and play it out.
I apologize for the long first post. Thanks!