Intelligence -- Intimidating or not?

[Breezy18]

Just wondering how many of you out there would be intimidated by the intelligence, (or lack thereof), of a possible boyfriend or girlfriend? In my experience, (not saying this is the norm by ANY means) men seem more threatened by an intelligent woman than the contrary. I, for one am not intimidated by an intelligent man. I find them titillating and refreshing. I don't think of myself as overly intelligent, about average I'd say, but I LOVE deep intellectual conversations. However, I sometimes have difficulty separating the emotion from the cerebral side of the topic. But it's all good.

[Ironliftr3]

As long as they're not smarter than me...lol.

Seriously, I wouldn't be intimidated at all. But I can hold my own in most situations, and what I may lack in book smarts, I more than make up for in common sense and experience. I typically like independent, strong, successful (in life, not necessarily work related) women. Why would I want to be around someone I can't have a stimulating conversation with?

Plus, people expect 'big and dumb', so there's little worry of disappointment. If I feel intimidated, I'll just smile, and open my shirt an extra button....Or just pick up something really heavy...that always impresses.

[Clifton]

i definitaly love a smart woman, especially one with a large vocabulary, i dont know why- its just nice to talk to someone who has a finesse with words. my last gf wasnt stupid, but it sucked when i'd be talking to her, and hafto explain what words meant and things like that..im the kind of person though, for instance if i hear a word in a song and i dont know what it means, i go look it up. but i definitally like deep conversations, its hard to connect with someone on that kindof level talking though, as most people just want to laugh at my age. so ill settle for a graceful tongue!! haha

[m0by]

Hmmm. . .Took some time thinking about this one. It does and donsn't in someways. It is very intimidating when a woman just goes off on a subject I have no idea what she's talking about. On the other hand, I find it very sexy. To me, intelligent women seem more classy. It's not so much the intelligence I'm attreacted to, but the way they describe certain things and the how they talk. It is very unappealing when a woman talks to me as if she's "educating" me, but there are women whose words sound almost poetic; this may be why I enjoy reading books by women authors. I like women who're witty, not nerdy.

[squirrley]

Not threatened by a mans intelligence-find it intriguing...may not be able to comprehend some of the conversation but would listen carefuly to expand my mind! Hows that sound? I know someone whose a genius and damnit he made it clear and always stressed it-that was not impressive. Id like to be able to be with someone whom I can carry a conversation with and not it be one sided all the time. I like to give input and or opinions and if I dont know anything about whats being said I say it straight up "I have not a clue what youre talking about..." so it kinda leads the conversation in a direction that I can understand.

Its kinda cool when someone youre just learning about knows so much about something and youre not familiar with it-you can learn about it through them...and vice versa...so Im not threatened by it.

[sfalexi]

Well, intelligence comes in different forms. Most people can be super intelligent, but hold a normal conversation. But what's more important to me is what they LIKE to converse about. If someone's really into politics, we're not gonna get along. Cause I hate talking about politics and shit like that. If someone happens to know a bunch of little tidbits and facts about different things, that's cool. CAuse we'll be talking about something and they'll say, "Oh, did you know that this particular phrase/reason/etc. came from this?" I find littel facts and trivia VERY interesting and love it.

So overally intelligence doesn't bother me. As long as it's held in a normal situation. But if someone decides to respond to everything in a quote or cliche, or talks like a Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, or makes EVERY story somehow relate to their experience at Harvard or their graduate life in Yale, it'd get VERY annoying, very soon.

Alexi

[Fawn]

I find intelligence very appealing in a man. For some reason it signifies to me that he is going somewhere in life and that he can achieve goals, no matter how high they are.

Now, I normally speak with a high intellect (mostly in serious places or to people I'm talking too). Although in forums or regular conversations with friends I don't bother in bringing such stiff conversations. I would prefer that a person could be themselves around me, instead of acting stuck up on them selves by trying to impress me or show their intelligence.

[Breezy18]

Why would I want to be around someone I can't have a stimulating conversation with?

My thoughts exactly.

I find littel facts and trivia VERY interesting and love it.

Trivial Pursuit anyone??
But has anyone ever felt inadequate in the brains department compared to someone they found interesting enough to date. Not because the person made them feel that way, but just becuase they were so clever, or witty or knowledgeable. I enjoy talking to people like this, because, as Alexi and Squirrley say, it's fun and interesting to learn new things. But I don't like it when the conversation goes over my head. Not fun.

[sfalexi]

Well,

I've had a few situations that I deemed a girl too UN-intelligent. I mean, when you have to explain such trivial things to someone (something that I would consider "common sense") whenever you try to talk about something or try to make a joke, it gets very annoying. Hmm . . . lemme think of an example . . .

Lets say you're driving with someone. And they drive like a maniac. And you say, "Whoa. Slow down there Mario Andretti." And they say, "Who's that?" Then your joke was wasted. and you have explain about Nascar.

Just anything where you mention something that should be common knowledge but they can't figure any of it out. Like if you were to mention something about swan lake, and they ask what "Swan Lake" is. Or if you mention a German Shephard and they ask, "Which dog is that again? Is that really small black one from Ireland?" Or you mention something about. Or if you drive a Ford Ranger Pickup. And you've mentioned a million times that you drive a Ford Ranger Pickup. And then they ask you how your Honda Ranger Jeep is doing. Jesus Christ. Pay attention! Or when they CONTINUALLY mispronounce certain words (even after CONTINUAL corrections). For instance, if every time they talk about that funny "zitcong" on TV you have to tell them over and over again, "SIT - COM!!!!" "How is pronounced? Sitcong? Zitcom?" Or when they continually ask over and over again, "Is there anything in my teeth?" Or "Is my lipstick ok?"

Wow. I need to get out of my school and into one that's a little more selective of their students . . .

[Clifton]

lol, alexi- thats my ex girl right there i swear to god. like has no common sense, shes not stupid but she wasnt the brightest star in the sky if you know what i mean..its funny how i didnt see that till recently

[sfalexi]

Yeah. I was basically describing my ex in almost that entire paragrpah. Some were DIRECT quotes. (Honda Ranger Jeep, zitcong, lipstick ok, mario andretti, etc). A very naive girl. Very sweet, very caring (what matters the most), but naive.

With anything, it's a tradeoff.

Alexi

[Breezy18]

LMAO Alexi. That was some funny stuff! I've had very similar problems, but mostly with my kids! LoL They think I'm super intelligent! HA! Wait until they get to college and start thinking, "man, my mum is so lame!" But yeah, I get what you mean. It IS annoying after a while. If you have to explain the joke, it's just not funny anymore.

[Prodigal]

Intelligence is one of the biggest things I look for in a woman. I can't really stand people who are completely stupid/annoying (they're usually synonymous). If a woman is more intelligent than me, that doesn't intimidate me at all. I'm not afraid to admit it if she is more intelligent than me. I would just hope that she doesn't find me stupid/annoying because I am not as intelligent as she is.

As someone said before, intelligence comes in different forms. Intelligence is something I look for, in both friends and a possible girlfriend.

[sfalexi]

I'm not afraid to admit it if she is more intelligent than me. I would just hope that she doesn't find me stupid/annoying because I am not as intelligent as she is.

Actually it's pretty interesting. You pointed out looking for intelligence with friends, and I have this one friend that I hang out with a lot and one of the reasons I like him so much is because he's so interesting and seems to know a LOT of shit. A lot of that "trivia" stuff that I mentioned before. Every time we're out he brings up some other interesting thing that I never knew. Cool guy.

It was actually pretty interesting cause one day he turns to me outta the blue and he's like, "You know. We're nothing alike. But I gotta say, I love hanging out with you. Every time we're chillin' I learn something new. You just know so much shit."

So I turned to him and was like, "You're joking. I always learn something from you. I never even thought that I was as smart as you."

So we both learn from each other. So the more we hang out, the smarter we both get, and eventually we'll rule the earth. But that's got another year or two to come so no worries.

Alexi

[Prodigal]

Yeah, Alexi. I think that's one of the coolest things... when both you and your friend learn from each other. I think that's one of the best things in a friendship... it also makes the friendship stronger and the bond closer.