breakup

[ev90]

I was going out with a guy for 6 years, we have been together since we were teenagers and stuck together through everything. Over a year ago I found out he kissed another girl, I broke up with him but we go back together a few weeks later. Things were really good. We went traveling together for 3 months and had such a good time but then I started to hear rumours that he was still in contact with the other girl he had kissed. I broke up with him even though he denied it and she said it was true. I couldn't face any more and was under pressure from my friends to dump him. I was gutted for a few weeks and so was he, we were still meeting up and deciding whether to give it a go or not. I started getting really close to my friends, going out a lot more and just enjoying myself and ended up with another guy for a few weeks.

He was really upset and begged me to get back with him, constantly ringing and texting telling me he loved me. I wasn't really that into the guy I was kissing so I decided to give my ex another go, we went away for a weekend, he was spoiling me and doing everything I asked.. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be with him but I was enjoying the attention and company. I was really happy.

Then I really decided that it was right and to give it a go. We were meeting up a lot and having fun. Then I found out I got picked for a really important internship for the summer in a different country and of course I accepted it, I didn't think this would be a problem as he said he would stick by me.

But then he started to say we should be with other people and not let us get serious till I got back, I was ok with this. We went away for another weekend and had such a good time together. The week after that we were supposed to meet up but he blew me of twice. I confronted him and said if he was not going to make an effort then we should stop this now. I was surprised when thats what he wanted. He said we should just be friends and he didn't want a girlfriend in a different country. I was gutted.

The week after that I found out that he was already kissing another girl. I was gutted. This was 6 weeks ago and I'm in bits. I'm so in love with him I don't know how to deal with it. I miss him so much and he does not want to be with me. He says its not serious with this other girl but that he is happy being single. I cant stop contacting him and Im so down about it.

Im moving in 2 weeks to start the internship but Im not sleeping, eating and cant concentrate on work. This is a really important job that I cant mess up and I need to get myself sorted before I do go.

He said he wants to be friends when we can because he still loves me but that he is getting over me. The girl he is seeing is not the relationship type so I dont think it will last but I still dont want him to get over me. Everything reminds me of him because we were together so long. Im in so much pain I dont know what to do.

I said goodbye to him today. I want this to be the last time but how do I go about getting over him?

[robFord]

You should do your best to move on. You're starting on a new adventure and bringing old shit with you will only weigh you down and hurt you when you should be experiencing your new life.

You seemingly moved on first by hooking up with a new guy, he's only doing what he needs to do to get over you and have some fun of his own. In fact your story sounds exactly like mine, but I'm the guy that you're leaving behind. My ex found someone pretty quickly after we broke up and she moved out, only to want to keep me around and be friends. Now I'm doing my best to move on and date other girls and it's too much for her to handle and she's hurt. She's also leaving to another country in a few weeks for a job.

It sucks, and both sides are going to get hurt - badly. There's no way of avoiding it. Just don't go overboard with anything, don't over react to anything, let it mellow a bit and indulge in the pain. It'll pass eventually.

Stay busy with your move, force yourself to go out and just throw yourself into your new surroundings and new people. Not much else you can do. Good luck.