Got my girlfriend back!!

[Chaz3]

Thought my story may help those that who have a broken heart. I know the feeling I was there for a while. The way I handled it, was to basically start moving along and forgetting about it all (of course it doesn't go over night). I started doing things to focus on me, started working out again (got myself cut up like i had been when i first met her), started working some overtime, forced myself not to think of her (it happened from time to time, but most of the time I was able to reject the thought of her), readjusted my plan for my life to insure I depended on no one, but myself for anything. After about a month of working hard, starting immediately after the breakup. I felt I was back in full bad ass mode. Still missed her but, had a very whatever/it doesn't matter mentality when it crossed my mind.

Any way here is how it went down. I'd been dating this girl for a bit over a year. Everything was fantastic. Rarely had an argument. Like maybe 3-4 silly stuff arguments over a year. Since the onset of summer we had gone from practically living together, to some what of a long distance relationship, because both of us had internships this summer. Well we had a pretty heated argument one night. It was really rather silly just as any other we had before. I actually got mad and broke up with here. (stupid) I was quick to apologize, but she needed "time". So I gave it a week and called, she was still mad/needed time but said she missed/loved me etc. Then I waited few weeks. (also a friend of mine told me during this time that she had started talking to someone new) Called her up and she was so hateful, put me down, etc. A week later, I was telling myself that I was done with it and didn't want to see her again, so I called to arrange gathering my things. She was even more hateful and she said she never wanted to see me again (I told her good deal I'm glad we are on the same page) So I basically told her to jump off a cliff..but a bit more vulgar than that. A week and a half later I had a meeting for work in the town she has been staying in. I still had all her stuff in my car, so i thought since i was around (and it is a long way from home) I might as well toss it on the door step and be on my way. (also a few weeks later we both would be moving back to the same town, regardless of our relation.)

She wasn't home. So I walk up set down her things, turn around to leave and she is sitting in her car, stopped in the middle of the road looking up at me. I thought.. great... but i just smiled and waved. She parked, walked up, I just knew if I did see her it wasn't going to be fun so I was well expecting to just throw the bird, tell her to have a nice day and leave. Oddly enough she was nice. So I was nice back. She invited me in. It was a bit awkward for a few minutes but I remember saying something, not sure what, she laughed and it was like freaking fireworks. We ended up getting take out and came back to her place. After an hour or so of fun, the deep relationship talk came. I decided to take part. Before I knew it we had decided to restart it all and take it slow. She had been talking to someone else (actually a friend of mine... douche...). As soon as we broke up apparently he was trying to make the move pretty quick. She didn't like it, told him off, and was thinking of me. I also know she was telling the truth because of what happened that night. We were lying down talking and "knock knock". I couldn't help it, so I just started laughing, looked at her and said "man your in a pickle now aye?", she started laughing. Ignored it then later a knock again. So I answered, there was a note on the ground that was essentially a love/apology letter, and he knew I was there, car was right outside. Going after a friends ex right after a breakup is a crappy move, I'm glad that worked out the way it did. Looked like a bit of karma to me (and i didn't even have to lay the smack down on him). Any way, i ended up talking with her over the week, hung out over the weekend. Everything was better than before. She seems to be a much stronger woman than before, has larger aspirations, and is trying to be more independent (woohoo! get the girl and booze with the guys more often!). Going to take it slow, have a good time, and see how it goes.

The advice I have if your hurting is just focus on you, be a bad ass at whatever you do. I started kicking butt more than usual. It made me feel good all alone, it made me not be even a hint nervous about anything. A week before things started working with the g/f, women were hitting on me at the bar. So I see again and I've known, being strong and motivated about yourself makes anything you do in life work with patience and good things just start to happen. It doesn't matter if its work, school, old relationships or starting new ones. Even if there isn't going to be anything come back between you and your ex. Don't worry about it, because the recipe for success in anything is still the same, its all about you. Now go kick some ass.

[lostinconfusion]

i'm glad you posted that. it's great advice for anyone whos going through emotional problems, not just a breakup. i'm a girl so lifting weight doesn't do the trick for me LOL, but the general idea i think can help everyone. thanks so much for your story. very inspiring!

[Chaz3]

No problem at all.. I hope it helps someone in some way.

We can exchange the weight lifting with one of those ab balls and a treadmill. Then we will have the ladies covered too. :-P

[luvispower]

ur so lucky.im trying to do what u said.but my emotions..just cant control my mind.

[Chaz3]

Ya know, at times when I was in the middle of it all. That same thought came to me. Ya just got to reject it. Refuse to think of it. Its not easy, not at all. But think of it this way. You have 2 rivers side by side. One is full of thoughts of her, of what you think you've lost, and any other thought that doesn't put a smile on your face. And right now it is just roaring at almost full to capacity. Now the other river, right beside it, is suppose to be full of happiness, confidence, and success, but right now its bone dry. Now every time you reject a negative thought or you do something that makes you smile or you force yourself to do something you know would be good for you, a little water spills over to the happy river. Won't be over night, it takes a little time to fill a river and empty another one cup at a time. But as long as you keep working hard, its going to happen. (also that one cup, starts becoming buckets after a while, and one day regardless of anything that may or may not happen with a woman, you will remember you've had a lot to fill the happy river with all along.) I'm not going to tell ya good luck, because you don't need it. You've got all ya need right where you are. Just get busy.

[paracelsus82]

Yes, I have been that for myself, I live by the beach, so I have been hangin out with myself reading "good for me" books, goin on runs, got my hair cut Just workin on me, and I have to admit I am feeling MUCH better =) Thank You Chaz

[Chaz3]

WOW lol... I'm glad I got done getting over this girl the way I said above... Back on the road again.. She was excited to see me today at 3:30 at 4:30 she went freaking bipolar on me and didn't want to have anything to do with me... We had been together again for just a few weeks and now I'm a single man again!! (so look out ladies! jk) Reasoning... She loves me but doesn't want to love me, because when she has me she feels she can't control herself and keep her priorities in order (like she can't be independent if she has me a call away). If that's true I need to find me a girl that has some spine.... I told her I thought it was a a load of crap, that it didn't make sense to me, ya don't love someone and kick them to the curb because you love them... I could tell she had an illusion that she had be wrapped around her finger.. (not sure how she got that, I have never been the pursuer) I told her after all the bs... I really didn't want to deal with any more crap... Told her I could tell she had that illusion and that she could take that finger shove it up her... well... and go f*** herself...

mmm it feels good to not be wasting time. Time to kick some more ass.

What do you guys think bout that lol?