Need help finding a GF

[Primavara]

I've always had trouble apporching girls, it's almost like I'm scared to talk to them. It's so hard to explain but I cant just start a convo with a girl that I've never seen before. It pisses me off to see all my buddys getting GF's and I dont have the balls to talk to a girl.

I'll admit I'm not the greatest looking person around so that makes it that much harder to talk to a girl. What do girls look for in a guy? Besides looks what are some of the most important things for me to work on? Looks are big in a relationship I know that though.

[vashti]

Looks are not as important to girls as they are to guys (once you are out of high school, anyway). What smart girls value is a guy's level of personal motivation, intelligence, and sense of humor. If you really ARE unattractive (and I doubt you are as bad as you think) I would be sure to achieve academically and in your career. Choose a career that you think is really interesting and that you love, and be a decent human being. Women will likely follow if you take pride in the mark you make on the world.

[theotherguy0123]

well, the most important thing you need now if confidence, you just have to have confidence within urself, dont be like "oo im not as attractive as the other guy, so im gonna give up," noo thats what what you want, what you want is confidence, be a MAN.

[Only-virgins]

Looks are not as important to girls as they are to guys (once you are out of high school, anyway). What smart girls value is a guy's level of personal motivation, intelligence, and sense of humor. If you really ARE unattractive (and I doubt you are as bad as you think) I would be sure to achieve academically and in your career. Choose a career that you think is really interesting and that you love, and be a decent human being. Women will likely follow if you take pride in the mark you make on the world.

If you follow the above advice you will die a rich and success full lonely person. Like I most likely will. All though the advice is good to set a good human character...it sure as hell wil not get you laid any time soon. Women do not prefer intelligence....you can be intelligent all you want but if you never show it nothing will happen..and even if you do no one really will care. There is a big difference between someone intelligent and someone successful. One has money and the other has knowledge...yes, sometimes one leads to the other but its not necessary and/or always true.

[vashti]

I prefer intelligent men, and the last time I checked, I was still a woman...

If you die alone OV, it will be because you insisted the girl be a virgin.

[jay12]

Fvck knows what can help you and me man. I have no clue, and i sort of resent the fact that i have to work for it or be something im not to get a girl?

I also resent the fact that i have no girl though, so dont listen to me.

[Only-virgins]

I prefer intelligent men, and the last time I checked, I was still a woman...

My point is that I doubt you have any idea what "intelligence" even is. how the hell do you know someone is intelligent or not when youy see them? lol. First impression is the most important they say...to bad most intelligent man dont even have the chance to have one. Then thats how the cookie crumbles.

If you die alone OV, it will be because you insisted the girl be a virgin.

Then thats how the cookie crumbles.

[vashti]

My point is that I doubt you have any idea what "intelligence" even is. how the hell do you know someone is intelligent or not when youy see them? lol. First impression is the most important they say...to bad most intelligent man dont even have the chance to have one. Then thats how the cookie crumbles.

Well, true you can't always tell (but you can often tell when someone is NOT intelligent by looking).

However, if what you say is always true, then tell me why you frequently see unattractive men with average-to-attractive looking women? And if it is because it is because of money, don't men usually have to be intelligent to make money?

[Sum1]

Prima, Vashti and OV are both right. I do feel yur looks are going to be a more important role at a bar or club, but you overall personality will help you better at school or the workplace. Intelligence and personality, to me, have a way bigger effect on finding and sustaining a RELATIONSHIP, NOT a hookup. I'm not the best looking guy but I've been able to pull some VERY attractive women. But I have a lot of confidence, Straight A student in college, various leadership qualities, and overall intelligent person. You just need to break the ice and then they'll see who you truly are through conversation. But you MUST BE REAL, don't be something your not. But for your first concern, it's never really easy to approach a girl, the best thing to do is see if they're interested. Look to see if they are staring at you, a good tell-tale sign is if they look at you and play with their hair (I learned this in a relationship class, it seems rediculous but surprisingly has been true lol). And BE CONFIDENT, walk around the place like you own the m*therf*cker. LMK if you have anymore questions. Oh yeah, a few beers never hurts to relieve some anxiety about approaching a chick lol.

[bigcr27]

Dude, you need to take a breathe and thinks about it. Girls like it when out of the blue you say I love you...when you are going out with them. You need to just go up and say your name. Then say something like "I like the color of your eyes". Some girls like a compliment first. Just don't say something like "I like your lips...or you have nice sexy legs. Nice breast/BOOBS." Be gentle with a girl. Don't worry if she's not attracted to you. Start off by being her friend. Be there for her when she needs you. Don't look forward to the word "No". Look towards the words "Hi" And "Yes".

[bigcr27]

WTF, Moon? Don't think of her as guy. Think of her as a woman that wants to be your friend. Don't think of rejection. Think of winning that goal. Don't have REJECTION go across your mind. Erase it. get it out of there. Race to the finish line. Once you get her laughing or blushing, say are you available/something like that. don't go all out. Ask her if she is free anytime soon. Give her your phone number. If you get hers, there is a chance that you will lose it. So write it on her hand also if you can, so she don't lose it. Okay?

[theotherguy0123]

If you follow the above advice you will die a rich and success full lonely person. Like I most likely will. All though the advice is good to set a good human character...it sure as hell wil not get you laid any time soon. Women do not prefer intelligence....you can be intelligent all you want but if you never show it nothing will happen..and even if you do no one really will care. There is a big difference between someone intelligent and someone successful. One has money and the other has knowledge...yes, sometimes one leads to the other but its not necessary and/or always true.

ok yeah sure, listen to this guy you know, he's saying don't be a man, he's saying dont be confident, there is no need for intellengence either, and that will get you laid, listen to him, he's definitely right, in fact, he's always right.

[indigosoul]

If you follow the above advice you will die a rich and success full lonely person. Like I most likely will. All though the advice is good to set a good human character...it sure as hell wil not get you laid any time soon. Women do not prefer intelligence....you can be intelligent all you want but if you never show it nothing will happen..and even if you do no one really will care. There is a big difference between someone intelligent and someone successful. One has money and the other has knowledge...yes, sometimes one leads to the other but its not necessary and/or always true.

OV, Vashh IS right. You'll (hopefully) see this becomes more true as you (and potential SOs) get older. But what she didn't say is that first of all, you have to somehow stand out from the crowd to get a female's attention. Basic biology, hun. The biggest feather on the brightest bird, thing. Now, HOW you stand out will determine what kind of female you attract (or not). Demonstrating a keen intelligence, in a witty, sensitive way will make you attractive to like-minded women. Rarer than the bubbleheads, yes, and requires more patience but far more worth it as regards a long term relationship.

For what its worth, as a young person my husband was very similar to you. He managed to "catch" me by being all the things I mentioned. I'll tell you he was VERY shy, and VERY socially inept. But he was very bright and very unique in his expression of thought and way of interfacing with the world, which is something I was just learning to appreciate. Worked for us, so I expect you'll do just fine.

[Only-virgins]

My point all along is we have non-intelligent woman searching for intelligent man. Think about that....I know its hard but besides irony there is alot of other things wrong with that. What is intelligence anyways...I could sit here and argue that it doesn't even exist. Success? I think this is what you people are refering too.

don't men usually have to be intelligent to make money?

Negative. more proof that if intelligence bit you in the ass you wouldn't know it.

you have to somehow stand out from the crowd to get a female's attention. The biggest feather on the brightest bird, thing.

Do you have any idea how pathetic that sounds. I thought that human kind escaped the pathetic breeding habits of a typical backyard racoon?

For what its worth, as a young person my husband was very similar to you. He managed to "catch" me by being all the things I mentioned. I'll tell you he was VERY shy, and VERY socially inept. But he was very bright and very unique in his expression of thought and way of interfacing with the world, which is something I was just learning to appreciate. Worked for us, so I expect you'll do just fine.

Interesting but it doesn't sound like me. I am not shy and I am not inept...I am quiet..a totally different breed of person. I prefer to speek only when I have too...not because I am shy but because I cant find the logic why I should give a fawk to do so otherwise. How do you get to know that someone is intelligent when they are to shy and inept to too talk to you?

By the way, if you are going to bring up the hypocricy of me talking alot on here then don't bother...I do so here because of bordem.

*I am sorry in advance for spelling. typing fast and to lazy to fix*

[vashti]

::shaking head and laughing::

I give up OV. It's true - you know wwwaaaayyyy more about what women want than women do. You do. You really do.