Shy or confident girls?

[beebee]

Hi guys made me smile reading what makes her attractive so thought I would post one of my own.

Do you prefer confident women or shy women?

I am talking about not overly confident, but head held high, assertive etc and for shy girls, quiet but nice and will open up if you talk to her.... x

[Zach]

Personally, I think I would get along better with a Shy girl. But when it really comes down to it, both options are great.

[TDurden]

Confident is way better.

Shyness can be endearing but it can also get really annoying.

[Junket]

My girl is not so much shy as she is reserved, yet confident.

She'll take a leadership position if need be, doesn't mind large social events, but overall prefers to keep to herself.

It's like the best of both worlds.

But overall, if I had to pick, I'd go with the confident.

[Mathias]

Yeah, my girl is shy and confident, too.

It works.

[jurupa]

I would lean to the confident one more because I am. But I won't exactly ignore the shy one either.

[The Great OV!!!]

Shy, but the problem is I like girls that approach me.....see the problem I thus do.

[Junket]

see the problem I thus do.

See the...huh?

[Henry123]

I like both. Although I would think shy girls are a little easier to get along with.

[Junket]

I like both. Although I would think shy girls are a little easier to get along with.

Yeah, cause they just put up with you at first cause you're nice.

Then when you get married that's when it all comes pourin' out.

I like my girls up front.

[Drew_Smith]

you used a very important word in relationships, "assertive."

I took two courses on gender/interpersonal communication last semester at Cal State Fullerton. Assertion is essentially the front most theme in interpersonal attraction and communication.

When you aren't assertive you are either being passive or being aggressive. Comm majors would put this on a line:

aggressive-------------assertive------------passive


the idea is to stay in the middle.

As a male, this is what I look for in the opposite sex, but the important thing to note is that not all people are the same.

Dominant people will subconsiously seek out passive people, and vice versa.





So ask yourself, as you are now, are you aggressive, assertive, or passive?

Assertive - Involves communicating in a way which indicates we are standing up for our rights but at the same time not trampling on the rights of others.

Aggressive: Lashing out at the source of discontent with little regard for the situation or the feelings, needs or rights of those being attacked.

Passive: A reluctance to state opinions, shared feelings, or a responsibility for actions. This might mean you don't like to make "peeps" and don't like saying no.




Here's an assertiveness "to do" list:

1 Consider the situation, relationship, culture.
2 Use DESCRIPTIVE language (and NOT EVALUATIVE language)
- Descriptive language is a report of what actually was seen, heard, touched, tasted, smelled, and otherwise "observed".
- Evaluative language is a judgement*of what you observed
3 Use "I" messages -> owned language
4 Honestly express your feeligns
5 Clearly state your wants
6 Pleasant tone of voice; avoid filler.




Hope this helps.

[enterprise]

I prefer neither or, but i'd have to say non-shy because i'm shy and i don't see it easy me going up to a girl soooo.

[CAM]

Confident, which by the way doesn't mean a self-centered strident b---h.

Definitely, not into shy. Shy can be totally manipulative if it wants to be.

How about a third choice: feminine. A feminine woman can be confident and at the same time being true to herself as a woman.

I vote for feminine.

[Zach]

Confident, which by the way doesn't mean a self-centered strident b---h.

Definitely, not into shy. Shy can be totally manipulative if it wants to be.

How about a third choice: feminine. A feminine woman can be confident and at the same time being true to herself as a woman.

I vote for feminine.

Im willing to bet that the confident types can be just as manipulative as shy.

[CAM]

Zach, you are correct !! I agree totally.