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Thread: Help advice with new relationship

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Help advice with new relationship

    I started a relationship about 6 weeks ago with a guy who i have known for 5 years and have always liked him a lot but never done anything about it as he was my ex's bestfriend.

    I finished with my ex this January after 4 years of a LOT of problems.. drugs, theft, cheating etc.. so, i wasnt looking for a relationship straight away!! I wanted to get my life back on track.

    (note> ex has disappeared off the face of the earth which another girl and even his friends havent seen him!)

    So.. anyway, after we split, his friend started texting me a month after to see if we could just hang out.. to see if i was ok (and to go riding as i have horses).. and we also went on a ski trip together with other friends, and i started to fall for him. but nothing happened on this trip and i tried to put my feelings to the back of my mind.

    We met a few weeks after the ski trip and have a nice afternoon, to which, we ended up kissing and we havent looked back!..

    We see each other in the week.. he sleeps here.. i sleep at his house, and on the weekends we do things.. its fantastic! as we have so much in common and its just great! We havent had full intercourse as there is a slight issue in this department (so its not just sex!!)..

    He hasnt really had a proper girlfriend (long term) and when i asked him how come.. he said that with his problem he needs to have full trust in someone and he prefers to be alone than in bad company.. and that he hadnt met the right girl... so, its sort of cool that our relationship is developing nicely..

    The only problem is that he is not wanting to stay around this area and wants to move further south.. 7h from here!

    This has been his life plan for a while and he is finishing his work in a month.. to which, he gives up his appartment in 2 months!

    I too have ideas to move to the South, but, not this quickly and i have a lot more to move and plan (i have horses).

    I have a really really good job that i love, but i can do the same wherever i am.. and i can keep my clients where i am living and come back and work/see family at the same time.. so, that would be ok.. but, it is just bad timing and i wont be ready to move with him. or, i dont think it would be appropriate after a matter of months!

    He has said that nothing is set, he wants to see what happens this summer, but will be starting to look for an appartment in the south soon..

    Great!!.. so.. it gets complicated!

    I dont want to make a life changing decision for a guy (6 weeks together.. but, he is a fantastic guy but rose tinted glasses and all that.. )

    I want to move to the south, but, for the right reasons.. not to chase a guy.. if we are to be together, we will be together.. and i dont want him to change his life plan either..

    But.. how could i ask him to give us a little more time.. or should i be telling myself that if he does go to the South.. then, obviously i dont mean all that for him and we are not meant to be together long term.. and if that is the case.. how can i be "normal" with him now? Do i end things before i fall to hard? I am capable to falling big time for this guy and i dont want the pain that comes with it when he does move.. and if i dont want to go..

    HELP??

    We are both 28!.. getting on a bit!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    Female
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    anyone got any advice??? :o( ?? thank you

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
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    has he expressed interest in you going or have you made up this plan to go south with him on your own? also if he does move why would you have to break up with him? couldnt you visit him on the weekends or he come to see you until your relationship gets more involved... if you move south are you moving with in with him? 6 weeks is not long at all. and to pick up an move 7 hours away all for a guy just seems crazy to me

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