Long Distance Situation

[Caster888]

Hey everyone, I'm new on these forums and I'll try to keep it brief: I'm a guy, 20 and from the UK. Early this year, I was on vacation in the US for a couple weeks and made friends with this girl (single). We didn't talk for long but I learned that she would visit the UK in a few weeks and also stay for seven months in 2010, so I knew we would meet again.
Back home, we kept in touch over the internet and indeed met up for a day in late April. We had lots of fun and both agree that it was an amazing time; yes, me completely falling in love with her that day!

We talk online/on skype almost every day, it's all very close and we already arranged that we'll spend lots of time together at each other's places next year when she comes again. Which will be in February, but I don't know if I can keep my feelings to myself for that long!! The nightmarish vision I have is that she'll have a boyfriend by the time we meet again...
So do you think there's a reason to let her know something before I see her? I know that being too outright with that kind of thing online or on the phone is not a good idea but I don't know what to do... Help!

[Caster888]

I should mention that the problem is: I don't want to freak her out so much that she breaks contact or something. I'm always scared in love matters...

[SS Gal]

Sounds like you guys are equally into each other and if she's talking to you every day, that's a good sign. February is not too far away and getting into a relationship with someone else when she knows she'll be leaving for 7 months and things are going so well with you doesn't seem too likely. My recommendation is to keep up the talking, e-mailing, whatever else and don't give her any reasons to look elsewhere. If the subject comes up about feelings, you can just tell her that you really like her and are looking forward to seeing her in a few months. How she responds will be your indication of how to proceed.

[Caster888]

Thank you for that! She has a lot of contact with many of her friends but still, at least it's not a bad sign I guess. The thing is that she's quite easy with casual "I love you"s and stuff like that, so I already heard that a few times (me jumping on it and mindlessly responding ) and while she probably doesn't think much about it, I of course will never really know what to make of it. If a friend of mine here talked to me like she does, I'd think that friend must be absolutely mad about me. Maybe that's an American thing, though...
I thought about the fact that getting into something serious now, when she's leaving soon, isn't likely but then, when she's here, she'll be "leaving soon", too! I'm a total beginner when it comes to long distance...

[gbsingh]

I am wearing the same shoes that you do right now. The only difference is that we both are married, we are parents and we are aged too - she is 50, I am 58; but our passion for each other is no way less than any 20 year old guys or gals! She lives in the US and I, in India.

We designed something much more creative and productive than merely keep chatting or talking on skype. I designed an Internet project that would not only be a piece of literary creation but also a commercial project promising a huge sum of income.

I designed it in a way that we both required entering input into it alternately, each one of us everyday through interacting with each other. The responsibility of marketing the project is solely on me, which I am a master of. The whole thing is very easily manageable from long distance between the two of us and we are very, very creatively and productively involved in the project as well as with each other at the same time.

And in the process, we also declared our love and commitment to each other as early as the project started taking shape. Today we love each other deep!

Could you think of and design something of the sort?

[Caster888]

So what do you think about the age gap of 4 years (21 and 17 at this point, happy birthday to me )? Personally, I think it's not a big deal, but I know people who wouldn't like that...

[gbsingh]

Happy birthday to you!

My first girlfriend was 26 when I was 19.

[doppelgaenger]

I'm in similar situation as you. I'm talking USA and Serbia here. There is also an age gap of 6 years. We are both in our 20s.

I first saw her last April, after 8 months of waiting. I met her first on the internet. We actually met on this website. We've been together all this time. We did so many things together. First she came to Germany when I was there, then I went to Serbia to visit her, and then we spent a vacation in Turkey together. I'll be going back to Serbia in Winter. Things are moving quickly towards marriage. We'll probably be married in 2-3 years.

All I can say is if you love each other, totally go for it. Check out my thread in the love stories department for inspiration.

[MDavis454]

The only thing to keep in mind about age gap is that maturity. I mean i was dating a girl who was 17 and i'm 18 and i went to college 4 hours away. we dated for a year and a half prior to my moving away. things were PERFECT. i'm a negative person but i could tell she loved me. Got a letter in the male, sweetest thing i'd ever read. 2 days later, dumped. no reason, little contact. A week later i was told she needed to find out i was the right one (bullshit. she's hanging out with other guys so.. owned to me). i was devastated. Case in point, make sure she's ready before you get yourself so emotionally invested. I'm not trying to discourage you.. I'm really trying to help.. just saying that you've gotta be REAL confident this girl is old enough before you go investing your heart in the relationship.

[Iloveagerman]

Only better!

I met a guy from Germany at a harry potter convention, and I ended up visiting him there for a day a month later! I knew when I first met him that I really liked him, Plus, I will be living in Germany for nine months starting in march!

Well, to say we've kept in contact is an understatement. Using skype and websites like youtube, facebook, and dailybooth, we've become not just best friends, but we're actually dating now, even though we've only been IRL together for a few days.

There's an age gap between us, I'm 17, he's 21, but somehow I don't even notice or care! My only concern at first was that he wouldn't be interested in someone younger, but lets just say thats not the case at all =D

He is so perfect for me, I feel like its a miracle because we met so randomly even! But I am already planning to spend the rest of my life with him. Hopefully, he agrees. I wish you the best of luck, maybe try flirting some in your conversations and she how she responds. Sometimes the best relationships don't begin with an awkward "I like you." They just happen, and trust me, you'll know when it does.

<2@