Am I wasting my time?

[Zaulik]

I know there's a cyber dating section, but there doesn't seem to be much activity over there and I really want a response/advice asap :p

Anyways,

so I've been dating this girl online for 14 months now. We've had our fair share of bumps in the road (mostly my fault, typical man) But we're doing amazing now. I love her so much, and we have so much in common. It's the reason I'm still with her. We both like anime, video games, reading, action packed movies, and uuuhhh more intimate stuff too. The point is, the chances of me finding another girl like her who likes all of the same things as me are slim to none.

The problem is that she lives less than 3 hours from me and after 14months she doesn't want to meet me yet. I offered to come up there and visit (in case it was too much trouble for her to come down here). We're very in love, at least I think we are. We say it too each other all the time ( I know I love her, i hope she feels the same way). She likes it when I sing to her (I'm not a good singer, she just likes to hear me serenade her :p ). Even though we don't share a bed, she still likes it when I go to bed with her.

ANYWAYS! Why doesn't she wan't to meet me yet? How can I pursuade her too. It really hurts me because I love her so much, yet i feel she doesn't wanna be with me... am I wasting my time?

sorry about the long post, please give me some advice, no matter how little it may be.

[tmc92ic]

I feel you bro. One of the worst feelings you can experience in a relationship is not knowing how the other person feels.

This is a bit more complicated than a bump in a regular relationship because it is over the internet. People around the world talk to each other everyday over the internet about things they find a common interest in; However, they rarely ever meet in person. I can tell you now that I met thousands of people online, I have never met any of them in person. She could just be looking for someone to talk to.

There a tons other possible reasons. Trying to guess the right one will drive you insane. The only thing you can do is ask her straight up... "Are interested in a relationship", "Why don't you want to meet up?", etc. **Rephrase them to not make it all obvious and creepy**. That is the only way you can no for sure what is going on. No one is a mind reader.

[Wakeup]

am I wasting my time?

Yes. Unless you're satisfied with never meeting "her" and just carrying on in the fantasy.. There's a reason why she won't meet you. More times than not it's because they're hiding some truth from you.

[Zaulik]

Alright guys, thanks a lot. I'll definitely talk to her about it. And don't worry Wakeup, I've had those thoughts 1000000000 times repeated

[Wakeup]

Alright guys, thanks a lot. I'll definitely talk to her about it. And don't worry Wakeup, I've had those thoughts 1000000000 times repeated

14 months is a loooooooong time to go unmet. My suggestion: Give her an one more chance at meeting you on her turf and if she declines, or hedges or doesn't agree with excitment to be meeting you then give up on her and tell her you won't be contacting her any longer. I suspect you'll need to go through some withdrawl from the interaction as it is so you don't want to waste anymore of your time if she won't meet.

[Zaulik]

14 months is a loooooooong time to go unmet. My suggestion: Give her an one more chance at meeting you on her turf and if she declines, or hedges or doesn't agree with excitment to be meeting you then give up on her and tell her you won't be contacting her any longer. I suspect you'll need to go through some withdrawl from the interaction as it is so you don't want to waste anymore of your time if she won't meet.

Ummm we'll see how it goes. You seem a little too harsh, but it more or less is the reality of the situation i suppose. I'm not a fan of online relationships, it's just that now that i've managed to get in one, i don't wanna let go.

Only time will tell, thanks again guys.

[Wakeup]

it more or less is the reality of the situation i suppose.

Yes, i suppose.

Let us know how it goes!

[MerryH]

I won't comment on the whole online girlfriend thing, but:

the chances of me finding another girl like her who likes all of the same things as me are slim to none.

This is extremely untrue. There are many many many girls out there who like anime, video games, reading, etc. Don't ever stay with someone because "we have SO MUCH in common!" You can find plenty of people with the same interests. It's kind of petty to base their suitability on their hobbies, anyway.