Am I wasting my time with him???

[Gabrielle4]

Hi everyone...


Ive been with my bf for 5 years( He is my first Bf ,I'm 26 and he is 27) and 2 months ago i found out that he cheated on me... He was seeing this girl for a couple of months behind my back . He said it was a big mistake and pleaded for me to forgive him. I love him very much... So i believed him straight away and took him back .
But after all this time I am not engaged and we don't live together. He says he loves me very much , but i want commitment and tho he says he loves me very much it seems that he will never take that one step forward in our relationship...
I feel stuck and don't know what to do??
Shall I believe in him and his love or should I break up and move on ?

Thanks for your advice xxx

[IncognitoSir]

Yes, you're wasting your time with him, all cheaters are a waste of time. You say found out he cheated on you. assuming he didnt come clean to you about it on his own accord. Is it safe to say if you never found out about it, you would still be ignorant to the fact that he cheated on you? Don't waste your time with him. Dont settle for what you can get, when you deserve what you want!

[Gabrielle4]

thanks for your response... Yes he didn't come clear... he said he was scared to tell me because he was going to loose me ... He is asian and his family won't accept me for religious reasons . Another reason why I feel so hurt. He won't let me go ... When we are together we are perfect.
When I confront him he says that he will resolve all the family issues with time .
I feel frustrated and confused

[Progressus]

As hard as it sounds... to be honest, I'd let it go, too.

But not for the cheating reason alone! Because we're all animals, and given the right circumstances, we can't escape our desires (BUT THAT'S JUST WHAT *I* THINK).

I'd let it go for the other reasons you've mentioned. Listen, I was in a similar situation: My girlfriend wanted to move in together, wanted to talk about kids, and that scared the shit out of me. In retrospect I can tell you why I was so scared: Simply because I didn't love her enough to go through all that WITH HER. Good sex, good talk, but that's not all that is to a life-long commitment. At some point, being with her and her family was somewhat "burdening". Unfortunately I was dragging it out much longer than necessary, and today I regret that. I was fighting a battle within myself, I couldn't say goodbye, I always hoped it would work out. It didn't.

I don't know if that helps you. But my impression is: No matter how much you think you're perfect together... these family issues combined with the cheating stuff... don't you think you can do better?

[nerdy_guy]

First he cheated on you BIG TIME. Second, He is having doubts due to cultural/religious background. That is a very big issue. If he's having problems on how to deal with it now, I'm sure it'll be a bigger problem if you married him.

Decide your fate.

[xxazurexx]

You might as well wave bye bye to him and because I suspect he won't ever marry you - you are wasting your precious time.