Got back together after one month split, she slept w/someone during the split, ???

[ThirdMan]

So, my girlfriend and I were only together for a couple of months. I fell in love with her and things moved pretty quickly. She decided that she wanted to break up with me because she didn't feel that she was ready for the kind of relationship that developed with us. After about a month of being broken up, during which time we were still sleeping together (once or twice a week), we got back together. We have been back together now for about two months. I am totally in love with her and she's in love with me. She talks about how she is so happy that she came to her "senses" and realized that we were in love and are a good match. When we got back together I had asked her if she had slept with anyone during our split and she said that she didn't. I didn't sleep with anyone because I was in love with her and was hoping we'd get back together. Now, weeks later, it turns out that she had lied to me and did in fact sleep with a guy on one occasion a couple of weeks into our breakup. I love this girl with all my heart and I do know that she loves me too. How do I get beyond feeling upset about this situation and move forward? Because we both want to be together. Am I being stupid here or can a relationship work in this type of situation?

[lahnnabell]

Well, you have to get over it. If you don't feel like you can do that, then this relationship will crumble eventually.

Know that it is highly likely that she broke up with you in order to pursue this other guy she slept with. You may want to ask her straight up if that's the case. But she could lie.

This is why "breaks" should simply be treated as "break UPS". For those few weeks, this girl was not committed to you. The fact that she was still sleeping with you did not guarantee you priority in her life, it simply meant that you two had trouble letting go, and as a result of that you ran back to each other (possibly out of insecurity). Given your current emotional state, you are very insecure and insecure people have trouble maintaining relationships altogether. Some things to think about.

[ThirdMan]

Thanks for the reply...more viewpoints appreciated...thanks.

[cutdeep]

i say just forget it and move on. she's already slept with someone else. i don't think you will get over it. and will never forget it. you can try to make the relationship work, but the girl will eventually leave again for another guy. move on and save yourself more pain. start now, move on and find someone who will appreciate you. how do you know that things did not workout with the other guy, and is just feeding you lies, because.. im afraid. you are the back-up plan!

MOVE ON

[Gigabitch]

The fact that she slept with someone else while you were split up shouldn't be a big deal.

The lying though, is, in my opinion. Lies are poison. Trust is broken, and now you have to wonder if she's telling the whole truth now or not. I would bet not.

[xxazurexx]

I agree with Lahnna, in that she likely ended things with you and to pursue this guy she slept with. It seems more than a coincidence that she meets this guy immediatley after you IMO. She likely came to her senses and realised she lost a good thing in you and when she realised he wasn't all that and he dumped her.

If I ever suspected that I was dumped and because they wanted to test the waters elsewhere, then I could never trust that this person may want to wander off again and to test the waters. For that reason, I wouldn't take them back.

Nonetheless you took her back and shortly after discover she has been lying to you. So not only is she given to 'flights of fancy', but she is a liar too.

Not good and I don't think she's a good bet, no matter how much she may be bleating on about how much she loves you.

Use your head.

[girl68]

It was the lying that send off alram bells not that she acted on her singleness and slept with another dude.