Exactly how oblivious are guys?

[lovesjoyajm]

No offense to you men here!! But I was wondering, how likely is it that a guy I have a huge crush on ... has no idea? I'm not a "flirty" person, and I definitely don't feel like I flirt around this guy, because I'm too busy trying to act nonchalant... lol. But I clearly seek this guy out, invite him to do things (albethem studying ), and call him occasionally. Last time, he enthusiastically said yes to hanging out, only to not call back and agree on a time/place to meet. He walked by me twice in one day without even saying hi (within 5 feet). I'm confused because sometimes he will make what appears to be a concerted effort to come talk to me, and then there's things like that.

Should I try to turn up the flirting? For example, I walked right past him today on my way to class and I was texting someone and didn't realize it was him. Then I looked up and he was right next to me and had kind of stopped. So we talked for a few minutes and he was telling me about an audition he has this weekend, and that he wouldn't make it because they only take two people and he's "not in the top 2". I tried to be all supportive and sweet ("awww, good luck!"), but I'm thinking he'd get the point better if I pulled a more "sure you will - you're the best dancer in the world!"/shoulder rub combo. just as an example.

raaawwrr..
(ETA: Sorry this is incoherent, feel free to answer whatever question you want. )

[Only-virgins]

Says who he is oblivious? maybe he doesnt want you? because to me it sounds like it should be clear for him.

[lovesjoyajm]

Haha. I'm trying to avoid that possibility until it becomes abundantly clear that it's true.

The thing that really confuses me is how he'll ignore me one day, and the next day seek me out and be really friendly.

[Only-virgins]

The thing that really confuses me is how he'll ignore me one day, and the next day seek me out and be really friendly.

That seems odd to me too. You sure he doesnt have a job and is jjust to busy or something? Cause I mean, I pick up a girls smile as a signal and if this guy can't pick all that up then...dont look at all guys, just him as oblivious lol.

[NeoSeminole]

perhaps he thinks you are being friendly? I would think so if a girl wanted to casually hang out. If you really want to get his attention, try wearing a short skirt and bending over in front of him. I guarantee you that will jump start his testosterone.

[lovesjoyajm]

it's COLD out!!

i have a hard time telling what he thinks. I AM friendly... less so with him than with other people, actually, b/c of my feelings for him. I keep reminding myself that I'm actually a rather enjoyable character to be around, and he'd probably like me more if I WASN'T so awkward - lol. But then I see him and I get nervous... rrrrawr.

[Pears]

Try hanging out with him more and becoming closer friends with him. Then you'd be able to talk about more personal things and get closer to confessing.

[NeoSeminole]

I just saw your pic (assuming it's you) and you are what I consider attractive. Is he very good looking? Maybe he has high standards? Gay? Or does he already like a girl? Then again, he could probably have the same feelings for you and he's really nervous. I suggest you make the first move if you want to find out.

[Lloyd95]

but I'm thinking he'd get the point better if I pulled a more "sure you will - you're the best dancer in the world!"/shoulder rub combo. just as an example.

He's a dancer? Gaye.

[lovesjoyajm]

Although I was pretty suspicious for the first while that I knew him, for now I'm assuming that he wasn't lying about being straight... he broke up with his girlfriend a few weeks after I met him (and then told me about it) and has said other things that implied he was straight without coming right out and saying it. It's certainly not fair to judge a person's orientation based on an activity they chose to start 10 or 12 years ago.

[Lloyd95]

If you had to question his sexual orientation, eveb think twice about it, there's a really good chance he's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[blackiesharley]

No offense to you men here!! But I was wondering, how likely is it that a guy I have a huge crush on ... has no idea? I'm not a "flirty" person, and I definitely don't feel like I flirt around this guy, because I'm too busy trying to act nonchalant... lol. But I clearly seek this guy out, invite him to do things (albethem studying ), and call him occasionally. Last time, he enthusiastically said yes to hanging out, only to not call back and agree on a time/place to meet. He walked by me twice in one day without even saying hi (within 5 feet). I'm confused because sometimes he will make what appears to be a concerted effort to come talk to me, and then there's things like that.

Should I try to turn up the flirting? For example, I walked right past him today on my way to class and I was texting someone and didn't realize it was him. Then I looked up and he was right next to me and had kind of stopped. So we talked for a few minutes and he was telling me about an audition he has this weekend, and that he wouldn't make it because they only take two people and he's "not in the top 2". I tried to be all supportive and sweet ("awww, good luck!"), but I'm thinking he'd get the point better if I pulled a more "sure you will - you're the best dancer in the world!"/shoulder rub combo. just as an example.

raaawwrr..
(ETA: Sorry this is incoherent, feel free to answer whatever question you want. )

In answer to your original question, (and I can only speak for myself) I am brain-dead when it comes to girls flirting with me. I've been on dates (one recent one comes to mind) where my date would say 'she's flirting with you.'

I need a girl with two red flashlights (think airport runways) for me to get a clue. Major part of my problem I guess.

[Lloyd95]

I need a girl with two red flashlights (think airport runways) for me to get a clue. Major part of my problem I guess.

Yeah that and some confidence.

[Rosebud]

Yea I would turn up the flirting a notch and make it obvious to him your interested..

[blackiesharley]

Yeah that and some confidence.

Yeah Lloyd. For the second time today I agree with you 100%. Seriously.

But... if Mike Tyson, Rambo or Rocky Balboa got their asses kicked twenty-five times in a row, they would lose confidence too. Just human nature.