getting that peace of mind???

[confused12345]

Hi everyone, it's going to be a little long, so bear with me...

I've been with my gf for almost 2 months, and we are much in love. She loves me like crazy. Before we dated, I've got to know from a friend of her/mine that she's no longer a virgin. He even mentioned she almost got pregnant but eventually not. She did it with her 2nd ex only, who cheated her and she left. I'm her 3rd. Also, she knew i knew all about her past through our friend, before we started dating. On the other hand, I feel my friend isn't telling me everything though.

I was in love with her at initial stage and so did she, it was all so sweet for that instance I don't mind about her past at all. And I really didn't mind at all! But as time goes by, my mind starts to wander off, am curious to know more bout her past, especially her sex life. I know it's wrong to ask but somehow i feel i need to talk with her bout this at least once in our relationship, if not i'll never get that peace of mind in this relationship.

But as soon as I start talking bout her past, she cried almost immediately. So i ain't getting any answers from the conversation. The most curious part is how come she ended up getting herself a pregnancy test, and i hate the fact that if that ***ker really cum inside her (better hope this isn't the reason). I asked my/her friend, he's not helping and not telling.

I know to love her is to forget her past. But since I'm a virgin myself before given it to her, it's quite hard for me not to think about her past. I tried, but somehow it still haunts me, as well as my curiosity. I really don't want to raise this topic again, but my curiosity is very tempting. I don't want to hurt her, as she's such a loving and cute gf.

Sometimes i hate myself for not being mentally strong, in the aspect of not to think bout her past. Now, since my friend isn't telling, and it's almost impossible to raise this topic with her, I guess I'll have to learn not to mind, even though i strongly believe i cant fully contain my curiosity.

Guys, how to stop myself from thinking and guessing bout her past? I know it's doing harm, but it's hard for me to control. How to get that peace of mind?

Your advice is much appreciated. Thanks!

[Heratriumphant]

Really? REALLY?

I can't help but think your GF deserves better.

If you want someone with no past go buy a blowup doll.

[Heratriumphant]

Sorry I can't leave this alone.

I want you to realize that by obsessing over some dude getting there first you are lowering your GF to a posession, a piece of meat, a used toy instead of an actual human being.

The jerk of an ex isn't doing that, YOU are.

[confused12345]

you don't have to bash me here as in my post i said i hate myself for being like that cos i really dun wish to be like that but i just cant help myself thinkin bout it.

This is y i'm here askin for advices. Thx for yours anyway i realised that now.

[Heratriumphant]

Okay, I was harsh, but did you actually read my second post? Because that's what you need to be thinking about.

[kai]

Are you into "cheating wives" porn? Just asking..

[confused12345]

yup i read, that's y i thanked u for that.

Guess i got to contain my this weak mentality. I actually feel guilty everytime i think of raising that issue to her, mainly due to the way she treats me, she's the best gf i ever had. She understands badminton is my life, n now she's askin me how to choose a good badminton racket for herself. Well, i knew very well that's for me as a xmas present. Lolz.

[Only-virgins]

you don't have to bash me here as in my post

Don't listen to him. He is an idiot.

Sorry I can't leave this alone.

I want you to realize that by obsessing over some dude getting there first you are lowering your GF to a posession, a piece of meat, a used toy instead of an actual human being.

The jerk of an ex isn't doing that, YOU are.

that is not true at all and yea the ex isn't doing that, No shit captain obvious, cause he is the ****ing ex. Why the hell would he care?

[Only-virgins]

I can see how it bothers you. Honestly she was with one guy so you should let it go but why the hell does she cry when you mention it? that would freak me out and make me wonder. I would figure the worst like a giant monkey rape session.

[confused12345]

I can see how it bothers you. Honestly she was with one guy so you should let it go but why the hell does she cry when you mention it? that would freak me out and make me wonder. I would figure the worst like a giant monkey rape session.

Yup it definitely bothers me in a way i like to know more bout her past. I understand why she cried, because that jerky arsehole cheated away her virginity. That's what she told to her/my best friend. And it's her/my best friend who told me this. I never really able to ask her more myself anyway without seeing tears flowing down her cheek.